This question was asked on a facebook page:
"Do you think military marriages and relationships are different from civilians marriages and relationships if so why or why not."
Some of the answers:
Deployments are the biggest difference and also the hardest. I do think there's more pride as a military wife than a civilian one.
Military relationship I think are much stronger than most marriage. Yes we all deal with same thing but military has deployments which to me either makes or breaks a marriage. Military is gone a lot a lot of long hours. Military spouse put up with some much raising kids on our own. House bills jobs school all our own most of the time.
I do think there is a difference. We have to have amazing trust in each other. There is so much time that we have to be apart, that you really have to trust in your spouse. We do deal with similar issues that civilian marriages do, but it is not uncommon to do it long distance.
I think it takes a stronger woman to be with a solider, and a stronger man to be in a relationship while he's deployed. a relationship isn't on hold during deployment, and i definately respect any man who can put effort into a relationship while being deployed.
I totally think there is a difference in the loyalty and trust. Some on my civi friends say girl idk how you go so long with out sex... or how you can be alone so long... or How can you be a part time single mom? That tells me that they couldnt do it. But it could be also that they havent found someone that they love that much and wait for them.
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So, I am gonna touch on some of this...
1. "more pride as a military wife than a civilian one".... who is to say a military wife has more pride than a civilian wife? can the wife of a police officer not be as proud of her husband as the wife of a soldier? can the wife of a trash man not be as proud of her husband as the wife of a soldier? the job isn't what counts... a woman will be proud of her man as long as he doing what he needs to do and providing for his family...the job is of no concern...and don't give me the "they are fighting for our country" crap either...while this is true in MOST cases, there are some soldiers who do some really shitty things....
2. "military relationships are much stronger/Military spouse put up with some much raising kids on our own. House bills jobs school all our own most of the time.".... really? last time I checked there are women all over who take care of kids and bills and the home all alone with no spouse there... in fact, I think some of them have it harder than a military spouse b/c they don't even have the support of a man, financial or otherwise....and how are military relationships stronger? please, do tell... circumstances and the people involved are what make a relationship, any relationship, strong or weak... I know a few military relationships that are shit... being military has nothing to do with how strong your marriage is...
3. " We have to have amazing trust in each other/I totally think there is a difference in the loyalty and trust".... so non-military marriages don't need trust and loyalty? I must have missed that memo...I thought ALL marriages needed trust and loyalty...silly me, it's only military ones that do... uh huh...
4. "I think it takes a stronger woman to be with a solider, and a stronger man to be in a relationship while he's deployed."..... so, women who aren't with soldiers are weak? or just b/c some women may realize this lifestyle isn't for them, they are weak? no... admitting this lifestyle isn't for you and choosing walk away instead of living a lie is strong...being honest with yourself instead of faking the funk is anything but weak... and it takes a strong man to be in a relationship while deployed? no... it takes a strong man to keep his marriage together and to work on it daily REGARDLESS of whether he is deployed or not... deployment has nothing to do with it...
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So, for some reason, this really irked me...which is why I wrote here instead of going off in the post. It came across to me that some women think they are better b/c they are married to a soldier...that their marriage is stronger and full of more trust b/c they are married to a soldier... that they are strong women b/c they are married to a soldier... how about being strong and better than others b/c of what you have done and accomplished, or b/c of the kind of person you are...not just b/c you're married to a soldier...
/rant
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