Yeah, not really - lol. I was told that I "act" like my life is "perfect". Really? I think I missed that memo! You see, my life isn't perfect, far from it, and I know that. The difference between me and some others is that I don't blast all my problems for the world to see, whether it be on Facebook, Twitter or Formspring, or just random people I meet.
Do I have problems in my personal life? YES! Everyone does at some point or another. That's a give in.
Showing posts with label strong. Show all posts
Showing posts with label strong. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Great Adventures
Our adventures in this army life began in 2002 when my husband went off to Kentucky for BCT. I just KNEW it was going to be a piece of cake because he was only going to be gone for a few months. It was easy at first, but I had two toddlers to keep my busy. I soon found out that nothing was going to be easy about this adventure and everything I thought I KNEW was wrong.
You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you’re so excited you think you might burst? I had that feeling, magnified by 100, when I finally got to see my husband graduate BCT. The first time I saw him I was completely shocked. He had always been athletic, but he changed so much from the high school boy I knew, physically and mentally. Watching him graduate and getting to hold him again was one of the best feelings every…. Until I had to leave him there for AIT. The morning we left, I cried in the van for 3 hours because I couldn’t stand to leave him there. Lesson one for me: My teddy bear is a great comfort when I want to cry like a blubbering idiot. He muffles my tears and says exactly what I need to hear, nothing.
I joined my husband at his first duty station and was excited to begin our new life. The apartment we had was small and a bit uncomfortable but we made due. It was better than what we came from. During my first few weeks in Kansas I met some wonderful ladies from a military outreach church. These ladies ended up being my strength when all I felt was weakness. My husband came home one day, a few months after me uprooting and leaving everything behind with two toddlers and moving half way across the country, to tell me some news. He broke to me that he was leaving for Iraq for a year. I was devastated because he was suppose to be going to NTC, not war. We knew it would come, just not so soon. Lesson two for me: Nothing in the Army is for certain and can change anytime. They don’t have to give you notice for anything. Having friends is a must!! In order to survive, we need some kind of support network.
Fast forward to nine years later, present day, I have been through many big and small adventures during my husbands time in the Army. We’ve now been through 4 deployments, one of which was 15months long. I’ve been trying to spread awareness about PTSD with the military, but over the years I’ve noticed that soldiers aren’t the only ones who can suffer mental problems from war. I’ve seen so many wives suffer from depression and other conditions. I was one of them but I refused to listen to my friends and get help. I finally caved and sought counseling one year and I’m so much better for it. If you need help, get it. I kept thinking, “he is strong enough for the both of us” but I was wrong. We both needed to be strong for eachother. Lesson three for me: We, the wives/girlfriends/fiancés, may be the backbone of our men when they are gone (and here), but we ARE NOT superwomen! We are strong! If you need help, seek it. Admitting you need help and seeking it, only makes you stronger, not weaker.
What lessons have you learned about yourself or life in general since living this great adventure? I have tons, but not enough space here to share.
You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you’re so excited you think you might burst? I had that feeling, magnified by 100, when I finally got to see my husband graduate BCT. The first time I saw him I was completely shocked. He had always been athletic, but he changed so much from the high school boy I knew, physically and mentally. Watching him graduate and getting to hold him again was one of the best feelings every…. Until I had to leave him there for AIT. The morning we left, I cried in the van for 3 hours because I couldn’t stand to leave him there. Lesson one for me: My teddy bear is a great comfort when I want to cry like a blubbering idiot. He muffles my tears and says exactly what I need to hear, nothing.
I joined my husband at his first duty station and was excited to begin our new life. The apartment we had was small and a bit uncomfortable but we made due. It was better than what we came from. During my first few weeks in Kansas I met some wonderful ladies from a military outreach church. These ladies ended up being my strength when all I felt was weakness. My husband came home one day, a few months after me uprooting and leaving everything behind with two toddlers and moving half way across the country, to tell me some news. He broke to me that he was leaving for Iraq for a year. I was devastated because he was suppose to be going to NTC, not war. We knew it would come, just not so soon. Lesson two for me: Nothing in the Army is for certain and can change anytime. They don’t have to give you notice for anything. Having friends is a must!! In order to survive, we need some kind of support network.
Fast forward to nine years later, present day, I have been through many big and small adventures during my husbands time in the Army. We’ve now been through 4 deployments, one of which was 15months long. I’ve been trying to spread awareness about PTSD with the military, but over the years I’ve noticed that soldiers aren’t the only ones who can suffer mental problems from war. I’ve seen so many wives suffer from depression and other conditions. I was one of them but I refused to listen to my friends and get help. I finally caved and sought counseling one year and I’m so much better for it. If you need help, get it. I kept thinking, “he is strong enough for the both of us” but I was wrong. We both needed to be strong for eachother. Lesson three for me: We, the wives/girlfriends/fiancés, may be the backbone of our men when they are gone (and here), but we ARE NOT superwomen! We are strong! If you need help, seek it. Admitting you need help and seeking it, only makes you stronger, not weaker.
What lessons have you learned about yourself or life in general since living this great adventure? I have tons, but not enough space here to share.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Only the strong survive... or not...
I was reading some responses to an inbox question on my page, *Army Wives Do It With Hooah*, and someone said something to the effect that "only the strong survive going through deployments" and this was in reference to being married. ((in no way am I picking on this person who made this comment, it just made me think))
I use to think this... but I'm beginning to wonder... During our first deployment, I never realized how strong I was until I was thrown into that crazy mess! LOL... I grew up so much and found strength I never knew I had and gained more over that year.
Each deployment has taught me something new about myself and I've gained more strength with each one. We've been through 4 now and I think I know now what needs to be strong. The person specifically doesn't need to be strong, or even both of the people in the relationship... one can be weak, one can be strong, they can both be either...
The strength you need to survive a deployment in marriage or any romantic relationship is the strength of the relationship. By that I mean things such as honesty, communication... trust...
My husband is a very strong individual and I admire all the qualities he has and I wish I could exhibit some of them... I myself am a strong woman in lots of ways... does that mean we would survive a 5th deployment? No it doesn't... we can be two strong people, but our relationship can be weak... a weak relationship is less likely to survive a deployment than a strong one... two weak people can be in a strong relationship and they may make it while we sink...
Just a thought...
**I'm not entirely sure what the lady meant in her comment about "only the strong survive", this is just my take on it. =)
I use to think this... but I'm beginning to wonder... During our first deployment, I never realized how strong I was until I was thrown into that crazy mess! LOL... I grew up so much and found strength I never knew I had and gained more over that year.
Each deployment has taught me something new about myself and I've gained more strength with each one. We've been through 4 now and I think I know now what needs to be strong. The person specifically doesn't need to be strong, or even both of the people in the relationship... one can be weak, one can be strong, they can both be either...
The strength you need to survive a deployment in marriage or any romantic relationship is the strength of the relationship. By that I mean things such as honesty, communication... trust...
My husband is a very strong individual and I admire all the qualities he has and I wish I could exhibit some of them... I myself am a strong woman in lots of ways... does that mean we would survive a 5th deployment? No it doesn't... we can be two strong people, but our relationship can be weak... a weak relationship is less likely to survive a deployment than a strong one... two weak people can be in a strong relationship and they may make it while we sink...
Just a thought...
**I'm not entirely sure what the lady meant in her comment about "only the strong survive", this is just my take on it. =)
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Military Marriage vs. Non-military Marriage
This question was asked on a facebook page:
"Do you think military marriages and relationships are different from civilians marriages and relationships if so why or why not."
Some of the answers:
Deployments are the biggest difference and also the hardest. I do think there's more pride as a military wife than a civilian one.
Military relationship I think are much stronger than most marriage. Yes we all deal with same thing but military has deployments which to me either makes or breaks a marriage. Military is gone a lot a lot of long hours. Military spouse put up with some much raising kids on our own. House bills jobs school all our own most of the time.
I do think there is a difference. We have to have amazing trust in each other. There is so much time that we have to be apart, that you really have to trust in your spouse. We do deal with similar issues that civilian marriages do, but it is not uncommon to do it long distance.
I think it takes a stronger woman to be with a solider, and a stronger man to be in a relationship while he's deployed. a relationship isn't on hold during deployment, and i definately respect any man who can put effort into a relationship while being deployed.
I totally think there is a difference in the loyalty and trust. Some on my civi friends say girl idk how you go so long with out sex... or how you can be alone so long... or How can you be a part time single mom? That tells me that they couldnt do it. But it could be also that they havent found someone that they love that much and wait for them.
******************************************************
So, I am gonna touch on some of this...
1. "more pride as a military wife than a civilian one".... who is to say a military wife has more pride than a civilian wife? can the wife of a police officer not be as proud of her husband as the wife of a soldier? can the wife of a trash man not be as proud of her husband as the wife of a soldier? the job isn't what counts... a woman will be proud of her man as long as he doing what he needs to do and providing for his family...the job is of no concern...and don't give me the "they are fighting for our country" crap either...while this is true in MOST cases, there are some soldiers who do some really shitty things....
2. "military relationships are much stronger/Military spouse put up with some much raising kids on our own. House bills jobs school all our own most of the time.".... really? last time I checked there are women all over who take care of kids and bills and the home all alone with no spouse there... in fact, I think some of them have it harder than a military spouse b/c they don't even have the support of a man, financial or otherwise....and how are military relationships stronger? please, do tell... circumstances and the people involved are what make a relationship, any relationship, strong or weak... I know a few military relationships that are shit... being military has nothing to do with how strong your marriage is...
3. " We have to have amazing trust in each other/I totally think there is a difference in the loyalty and trust".... so non-military marriages don't need trust and loyalty? I must have missed that memo...I thought ALL marriages needed trust and loyalty...silly me, it's only military ones that do... uh huh...
4. "I think it takes a stronger woman to be with a solider, and a stronger man to be in a relationship while he's deployed."..... so, women who aren't with soldiers are weak? or just b/c some women may realize this lifestyle isn't for them, they are weak? no... admitting this lifestyle isn't for you and choosing walk away instead of living a lie is strong...being honest with yourself instead of faking the funk is anything but weak... and it takes a strong man to be in a relationship while deployed? no... it takes a strong man to keep his marriage together and to work on it daily REGARDLESS of whether he is deployed or not... deployment has nothing to do with it...
***********************************************************************
So, for some reason, this really irked me...which is why I wrote here instead of going off in the post. It came across to me that some women think they are better b/c they are married to a soldier...that their marriage is stronger and full of more trust b/c they are married to a soldier... that they are strong women b/c they are married to a soldier... how about being strong and better than others b/c of what you have done and accomplished, or b/c of the kind of person you are...not just b/c you're married to a soldier...
/rant
"Do you think military marriages and relationships are different from civilians marriages and relationships if so why or why not."
Some of the answers:
Deployments are the biggest difference and also the hardest. I do think there's more pride as a military wife than a civilian one.
Military relationship I think are much stronger than most marriage. Yes we all deal with same thing but military has deployments which to me either makes or breaks a marriage. Military is gone a lot a lot of long hours. Military spouse put up with some much raising kids on our own. House bills jobs school all our own most of the time.
I do think there is a difference. We have to have amazing trust in each other. There is so much time that we have to be apart, that you really have to trust in your spouse. We do deal with similar issues that civilian marriages do, but it is not uncommon to do it long distance.
I think it takes a stronger woman to be with a solider, and a stronger man to be in a relationship while he's deployed. a relationship isn't on hold during deployment, and i definately respect any man who can put effort into a relationship while being deployed.
I totally think there is a difference in the loyalty and trust. Some on my civi friends say girl idk how you go so long with out sex... or how you can be alone so long... or How can you be a part time single mom? That tells me that they couldnt do it. But it could be also that they havent found someone that they love that much and wait for them.
******************************************************
So, I am gonna touch on some of this...
1. "more pride as a military wife than a civilian one".... who is to say a military wife has more pride than a civilian wife? can the wife of a police officer not be as proud of her husband as the wife of a soldier? can the wife of a trash man not be as proud of her husband as the wife of a soldier? the job isn't what counts... a woman will be proud of her man as long as he doing what he needs to do and providing for his family...the job is of no concern...and don't give me the "they are fighting for our country" crap either...while this is true in MOST cases, there are some soldiers who do some really shitty things....
2. "military relationships are much stronger/Military spouse put up with some much raising kids on our own. House bills jobs school all our own most of the time.".... really? last time I checked there are women all over who take care of kids and bills and the home all alone with no spouse there... in fact, I think some of them have it harder than a military spouse b/c they don't even have the support of a man, financial or otherwise....and how are military relationships stronger? please, do tell... circumstances and the people involved are what make a relationship, any relationship, strong or weak... I know a few military relationships that are shit... being military has nothing to do with how strong your marriage is...
3. " We have to have amazing trust in each other/I totally think there is a difference in the loyalty and trust".... so non-military marriages don't need trust and loyalty? I must have missed that memo...I thought ALL marriages needed trust and loyalty...silly me, it's only military ones that do... uh huh...
4. "I think it takes a stronger woman to be with a solider, and a stronger man to be in a relationship while he's deployed."..... so, women who aren't with soldiers are weak? or just b/c some women may realize this lifestyle isn't for them, they are weak? no... admitting this lifestyle isn't for you and choosing walk away instead of living a lie is strong...being honest with yourself instead of faking the funk is anything but weak... and it takes a strong man to be in a relationship while deployed? no... it takes a strong man to keep his marriage together and to work on it daily REGARDLESS of whether he is deployed or not... deployment has nothing to do with it...
***********************************************************************
So, for some reason, this really irked me...which is why I wrote here instead of going off in the post. It came across to me that some women think they are better b/c they are married to a soldier...that their marriage is stronger and full of more trust b/c they are married to a soldier... that they are strong women b/c they are married to a soldier... how about being strong and better than others b/c of what you have done and accomplished, or b/c of the kind of person you are...not just b/c you're married to a soldier...
/rant
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