"Military Wives" reality show? Please say it ain't so!!

The headline is - ‘Military Wives’ seeks aspiring reality TV stars - on Army Times (click the title to read the article)

Now, I'm not totally against a reality show for military wives, but this one in particular, I am. From the article it says this will be from the "star maker" of MTV's "Jersey Shore"... need I say more? That show is full of so much crap and I can only imagine what he would do to a military wives show... Every single woman would fill a stereotype and make us look even worse...

...the cute young newlywed who cheats as soon as her husband deploys...
...the wife who spends all the deployment money on hair, nails, clothes and makeup while sending nothing to her husband...
...the catty nosey-body who is in everyone's business in the neighborhood and can tell you all the gossip from a 5 block radius...
...the wife in her mid twenties who is on her third military relationship...

I can just see it now. Military wives won't be looked at as strong, selfless and faithful ((which I believe the majority are)), but they will looked at as money grubbing floozies who talk too much and work too little... we will be the new joke.

If they follow through with making this show, I won't watch it. I refuse. /rant

Be knowledgable!

Since I have been dealing with so many wives on a regular basis, I have come across something that is driving me insane... this "something" is one of the reasons I had decided to make my fan page on facebook - *AWDIWH*

For me, when I got to our first duty station, I had to learn a lot on my own because my husband was shipped off to Iraq after a few months. Thank God for the women I met who helped me b/c I didn't have access to the internet and my best friend "google" =)...

Here are some things I think are important:

1. Know the location of the Tricare Office, DEERS, JAG, commissary, PX, your husbands company, the hospital, the Army Community Service building...and so on... some places may be found in one single building like here at Stewart we have the Soldier Service Building..either way, know where the important places are at each post you live at!!

2. When your spouse deploys make sure you have access to mypay and the bank account!! Make sure you have a POA (power of attorney) that will cover everything you might need. We always get me specific POA's because some places are just ananl. This last deployment I had a general POA, a special POA, a POA for DEERS, Taxes, JAG and one specifically for housing. Find out what ones you need for your post and get them!! If you need one that you don't have while he is gone it is going to be hell trying to get one with him in another country.

3. For the soldier specifically - DON'T LEAVE YOUR SPOUSE IN THE DARK!! TELL YOUR SPOUSE THE THINGS THEY SHOULD KNOW!!! There are some things that I see and it leaves me wondering "why the hell didn't your soldier tell you these things?!" You soldiers who are married need to realize that we, as spouses, CAN NOT help you properly with day to day things that concern the army or help you with certain things when you're gone if you don't tell us what we need to know!! ((Special thanks to my husband for always keeping me informed!))

4. OPSEC/PERSEC - just read it..and follow it lol

5. Please please please!!!! make sure you have a support network!! You never know when you will need it for an emergency or just your sanity. =)

Military SPOUSE Appreciation Day

I have seen some things about "military spouse appreciation day" that irked me. Some people think girlfriends and fiances should be included in this. I disagree. They say girlfriends and fiances go through the same things as wives do. This I agree with. There are things that we all go through the same... but I don't think "military spouse appreciation day" is about that.

To me, it isn't about the feelings we go through or "difficulties" of being without them while they are deployed or gone for long periods of training....and by no means at all am I down playing girlfriends or fiances.... I SUPPORT ALL... girlfriends, fiances, wives....

However, there are things that I think "military spouse appreciation day" is for that girlfriends and fiances aren't apart of or can't do.

Wives run the FRG and all FRG related functions.
Wives deal with Tricare.
Wives deal with DEERS.
Wives deal with transportion.
Wives deal with JAG.
Wives deal with finance.

It is things like this that make me think this is why "military spouse appreciation day" came about. It is the things that set the wives apart.

**of course I include husbands in this as well, but I said wives because I am a wife lol... =)

Just my little bit of 2cents...

Military Wives ~ not stereotypical ~

So, I read a blog by a woman who I perceive as bitter and cold towards military wives for the most part and she seemingly keeps trying to include herself in the "military wife" category when, in fact, her BOYFRIEND is no longer even in any military service.

Now in this blog she rants and talks about military wives... and I quote...

"And sweet mother of pearl clean your fucking house. If all you’re doing is staying home, turn on the damn vacuum. Your counters could cure cancer."

How is it that she knows EXACTLY what every woman does during the day? How is that she knows EXACTLY whose house is clean and whose isn't?

The women who I know that stay at home all day, DO KEEP THEIR HOUSES CLEAN....and if they seem to be a bit "cluttered", not dirty, it is b/c they have young kids running around constantly. I see women who stay home and are constantly cooking, cleaning, washing clothes.... it never ends!!

And for some odd reason a woman doesn't do this, who the hell is anyone to tell her she is wrong? That is between HER AND HER HUSBAND.

And I quote....

"You married him, this is his job, get over it. Boo hoo you have to raise your kids while your husband is deployed. So do the rest of us and you dont see any of us trying to “rank up” because of it."

Let me get this right... just because a woman marries a man in the military she is never allowed to complain about being alone or having the kids 24/7? Last I checked our military fought for freedom of speech so the women could bitch and moan all they wanted. At least they are bitching and moaning about something valid, unlike the writer of the horrible post who is simply bitching to be rude.

If I'm having a bad day while my husband is deployed or in school and I want to cry and boo hoo about it because I'm stressed with every thing at home, than I will. To those who don't like it - you can kindly fuck off in the direction of hell =)

And I quote...

"You get a lot of perks because of it so shut the hell up and stop embarrassing your husband."

Perks? I don't even know where to begin with that one, but I think I don't really need to for the wives who will read this. Girlfriends would not understand even if it were explained... (By no means am I saying anything mean about girlfriends, I support girlfriends and fiances too.)

And who is embarrassing their husbands? All the soldiers I meet and have met, which is alot, they never complain about their wives... actually they praise them. They are jewels in their crown. But a woman who hasn't lived in the military community as a spouse wouldn't understand or know about that.

And I quote...

"If you have nothing to be proud of outside of your husband’s accomplishments, you may want to seriously reconsider the path you have chosen."

This is funny to me solely because I know a lot of women who have their own accomplishments but don't feel the need to lie, embellish and brag about them like the author of the blog of topic.

Since I like to link my sources, here is the blog that this trash spills from... someone who claims to support military spouses...someone who was pissed off for their interview being removed from a military site b/c of the complaints they got about her...do we really need to question why now? - BitterWomansBlogPost

Now, the women I see and interact with every single day are nothing like what that blogger seems to think.

They are the kind of women who will help you when you need it, no matter what it is...the kind of women who are strong and encourage you to maintain your strength but cry with you when you cry. Wipe your tears and tell you tomorrow will be a better day. The kind of women I know and love are kind to a fault... hard working, whether it be in the house or not, my best friends... my SISTERS... We all support each other and do what we need to do in order to keep everyone sane day to day in our hectic lifestyle...

If you don't know women like the friends I have, than maybe you need to look inside yourself and chip away at your stone heart... if you look for no good, you will find no good... open your eyes and your heart and live with love and understanding... you'll be much happier =)

Generalizations are pure ignorance!!

Here was the question on a facebook page:

"How do you feel about Muslims in the Army? Thoughts? Opinions?"

Here was a response that really irked me:

"I am not even going to get started on this one .. considering what happened at Fort Hood and as a veteran ... yea .. I'm keeping this to myself."

Now, this to me leads me to believe she doesn't like Muslims in the Army. Just because of one man. So, I wonder, if the shooter at Fort Hood was a Christian, would she have a problem with Christians in the military?

And then, on my facebook fanpage there was a post about husbands adding female soldiers to their facebook. Someone said, "And MOST female soldiers ARE out for whatever they can get, because nine times out of ten they KNOW they can get it. It isn't just other womens husbands, but just men in general. I am thankful my husband is infantry and therefore doesn't run into women, but Women, especially female soldiers, are in love with infantry men cause they tend to be seen as the elite." ... and then she wrote, "I FIND THAT MOST FEMALE SOLDIERS, AT LEAST THE LOWER ENLISTED SOLDIERS ARE SLUTS. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. IT'S MY OPINION AND I AM ENTITLED TO IT."

Now, while it is her opinion, and she is entitled to it, I think it's a crock of shit and that is MY OPINION. How can she say "most female soldiers"? Does she know most of them? I highly doubt it.

That would be like me saying that just b/c I know some men soldiers who cheated on their wives that all men soldiers who are married are going to cheat.

And we all know the stereotypical "army wives are cheating whores who only want the money and benefits."

Come on!! As long as people keep this ignorance going, our country is going to continue to be on its way to hell in a flaming ball of fire wrapped in the hatred of others.