Hair Cuttery’s "Share-a-Haircut Program" to Benefit Veterans

For the past 14 years - this being the 15th year - Hair Cuttery has been doing the "Share-a-Haircut" program to benefit many people. They have reached more than  900,000 children, and more than 100,000 homeless and domestic violence victims through haircut certificate donations -- valued at more than $13.5 million!

This November, Hair Cuttery is hoping to reach 25,000 Veterans! This year is Hair Cuttery's 40th Anniversary. In honor of that anniversary, they wish to expand their program to include Veterans.

"The Men and Women who have served our country have given so much, it is our honor to be able to give back to them. We hope in some small way we are able to help those who have sacrificed so much for our country."  ~Dennis Ratner, Founder & CEO of Hair Cuttery

Honey, I'm Just Along For The Ride!

Apparently there is a page on FB called "Army Spouse: Toughest Job in the Army" -- or something to that effect. I have seen people mention it but never really looked at it until this morning when my husband brought something to my attention. If you read this page, it is obviously made for laughs. One of the funniest things is people getting all bent out of shape over it!

As I said, my husband brought something to my attention. He showed me a comment or statement, whatever, that someone made on or about that page. Here are a few points this person made to spouses--

Breastfeeding in Uniform?

I'm an avid supporter of breastfeeding and I don't mind breastfeeding in public. However, I think there are things that just might cross the line. A female service member breastfeeding in uniform might be one. I'm not completely sure how I feel about it, I kinda have mixed feelings.

Who Cares About Rank? I do!

Over the past few days while "creepin'" on Facebook, I have seen talk of rank in the military community, including on my page *AWDIWH*....

A few things made me laugh...one thing that made me laugh was spouses who were so adamant that more wasn't expected of them as their service member gained rank. I'm not referring to the way you dress or act reflecting on your service member, that to me, is common sense. I'm referring to attending certain functions, meetings & ceremonies...and no, I'm not saying you are required to do anything with the FRG. However, if your service member is making a career of the military, being social with him at his required social events will make him look better. Image can go a long way and can positively or negatively affect your service member.

Another thing that made me laugh was someone said something to the effect like "having an attitude is wearing your service members rank"... huh? First, let me state that I have NEVER, in person, come across a spouse who has "wore" their service members rank...I see some on the internet try to act high and mighty, but not in person. Frankly, I don't care if a spouse tries to "wear their service members rank". It doesn't effect me at all. And is it really that big of a deal when a woman wears her husbands rank patch on her ACU purse or diaper bag? Really? That doesn't mean she is walking around saying, "I'm Mrs. CPT MyShitDontStink"... I have an ACU purse that I use as my "Scentsy Brag Bag". Yes, it has my husbands rank on it... but guess what? HE WANTED IT ON THERE lol... So, in short, I really don't care if a spouse wants to act all "I'm better than you" b/c their service member is a specific rank. It doesn't affect me or anything I do... The only way it affects me is if I let it.

The last thing that gave me a little chuckle, while I was reading it via my phone, while having lunch with the hubs today was women saying they didn't care about their husbands rank. Really? I don't understand that. Do I care about YOUR service members rank? No, that has nothing to do with me. However, I do care about MY husbands rank. Why would I not care? Me saying I didn't care about his rank would be like a huge slap in the face to him. He joined FOR US, to get us out of the shit-hole town we lived in. He works his ass off FOR US, his family..he is making a career of the Army FOR US... so, yeah, let me just tell him, "Honey, I don't care about your rank...I don't care about all the time and energy you put into your career to earn that rank... I don't care about you being in charge of keeping guys safe during deployment while bullets are flying at your chest...all that you've done to earn your rank means nothing b/c I don't care about it." That would be a stab in the chest to him. He is proud of his rank and how fast he earned it and I'm proud of him too. Being proud of your service members rank doesn't mean you're flaunting it or bragging. And for those who don't care about their husbands rank, I wonder if they would care if he didn't move up in rank...or if he got knocked down. I bet that would change things.

Spouses to blame? Not Completely...

There is all this "hoop la" about a wife who found out her husband had died in combat via text last week. My heart goes out to the families who have lost loved ones. In no way do I think how she found out was right...not at all. I would be horrified to find out that way and I'm saddened for her that she did.

You can read about it here - Army: Spouses to Blame for KIA Notification Fail

However, I think putting all the blame on the spouses of the unit is wrong. Yes, they are partly to blame. Even though there was a communications blackout, someone got word to someone else back home...meaning a soldier told his wife what happened. My husband has been deployed 4 times and been through numerous blackouts...there is ALWAYS a way to contact home if they want to bad enough. These soldiers should know whether or not their wives are busy bodies and will open their mouths.

From the article - “Truth can grow legs and change into rumor, and information is shared improperly before the Army can do the right thing.”

How true is that?!! How many times have people ran their mouth and people were told the wrong information? Something as little as "Sgt Jones tripped down the steps and broke his ankle" can turn into "Sgt Jones was ambushed and the enemy broke his leg." - What if someone was told their husband was dead and he really wasn't?

Maybe everyone, soldiers & spouses, should learn to keep their mouths shut about important things like this. Of course this is meant towards those who like to be busy bodies lol...

/rant

((remember this is solely my opinion lol))

A Message From My Husband...

I'm really tired of seeing these posts about when a celebrity dies and people stating that an x amount of Soldiers die everyday at war. Correct me if I'm wrong, but before any of you were in the Military, Soldiers were dying and there was none of these posts.

Celebrities jobs are to entertain people. If a celebrity is an international superstar then of course they are going to get the media attention. Simply that is their business, to entertain and with that comes mass media attention when they die.

Us, as Soldiers, are in the business of killing and protecting our country by any means necessary. We don't get the attention because simply we don't need it. We have the most prestigious job in the WORLD. This is not to take any credit from our Soldiers who paid the ultimate Sacrifice. My hat is off to you and I salute you!

This is for some of you people that try to piggyback off a celebrities death and water it down to make it be all about the Soldiers. Whatever happened to just being an American and caring about people in general? Because if you didn't know it, when I take my boots and Acu's off I am still a person!

So let's not make one death mean more than the other. Because celebrities are people as well! Respect their lives, families and let the people who want to grieve over them grieve. That's the beauty of America, if you don't like it shut the fuck up and change the page or channel, but don't be that ignorant to talk about someone who died!

~An American Soldier

The thought of Losing him...

All the "hoop-la" around the death of Whitney Houston on facebook had me thinking...

If something were to happen to my husband, be it at war or something else, I would be torn apart. Even if we were together or not, I would feel empty inside. I would mourn him because of my love for him... because of how he made me feel at my happiest moments... his past indiscretions and wrong doings wouldn't mean a thing in that moment... I also wouldn't be thinking about his occupation as a soldier...that is not why I love him..

When people lose someone they love, they deserve to grieve...and they deserve to do so without someone else discrediting that life...

A soldier, a celebrity, a doctor, a teacher...a drunk, a druggie, a homeless person down on their luck.. a lost life to those who loved them is a tragedy, no matter who it is.

Just some thoughts of mine...

Helping Someone you Love who has PTSD

Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can occur after you have been through a trauma. PTSD in the military doesn't just come from being in a war zone. It can come from other things too... being robbed, being in a horrible accident, being raped or being a victim of any sexual assualt.

Let's start with some PTSD facts -

Experts think PTSD occurs:
*In about 11-20% of Veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars (Operations Iraqi and Enduring Freedom), or in 11-20 Veterans out of 100.
*In as many as 10% of Gulf War (Desert Storm) Veterans, or in 10 Veterans out of 100.
*In about 30% of Vietnam Veterans, or about 30 out of 100 Vietnam Veterans.
*23 out of 100 women (23%) reported sexual assault when in the military.
*55 out of 100 women (55%) and 38 out of 100 men (38%) have experienced sexual harassment when in the military.

During my google search I found this - Five Rules for Helping Someone with PTSD


Rule #1: Do not take her behavior personally.
PTSD is not about you. It is about her fear. It is about her anxiety. It is about her pain. It is not about you. Understanding this does not make the problems (or obnoxious behaviors) go away. But it can keep your feelings and your relationship from being hurt unnecessarily.

Rule #2: Set boundaries
Do not under any circumstances tolerate unacceptable behavior.
Do not tolerate abuse of any kind. You are not a punching bag or a target for degrading insults.

Rule #3: Do not expect much in return.
Right now your loved one doesn't have much to offer because they are most likely struggling just to get through the day. You WILL NEED your own support network.

Rule #4: Do not judge.
Your loved one may need/want to talk about it with you. It may make them feel better to get it out and they need someone they can trust to come to w/o fear of being judged.

Rule #5: Have fun.
Remind your loved one of fun times and do fun things together. Even if they don't want to, they might just do it to please you and they might just get into it. Laughter heals...having fun almost always brings about laughter.

((I found this info at http://www.heal-post-traumatic-stress.com/index.html - lots of other great links on this site too))

More helpful links:
16 Ways To Help A Friend With Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
HELP WITH POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS (PTSD)
PTSD Support
Help 4 PTSD

If you're an app person with your phone, check out PTSD Coach - PTSD Coach mobile app wins FCC award for helping people use technology to manage PTSD symptoms.

Hope this helps some =)

Seven Summits - A Soldier's Quest ((very awesome!))

I received a message in my email from a Mrs. Sarah Jones...and I'm so glad she wrote me! I looked at the website she gave me and I must say I'm impressed!

Her husband, SSG Trevor Jones, is trying to become the first Active Duty Soldier to climb the 7 summits (the tallest summit on each continent) while raising funds and awareness for the Wounded Warrior Project. He has already climbed Denali (tallest in North America), and Aconcagua (tallest in South America), and his next climb will be Mt. Kilimanjaro in Africa in January 2012.

From his website:
"My name is Trevor Jones and I am a Staff Sergeant in the US Army. I’ve had a fairly extensive military career in my short life, having served two deployments to Iraq, and one to Afghanistan. In June 2009, I began a quest to become the first to climb each of the Seven Summits while serving as an active duty member of the United States military. By accomplishing this, I hope to raise funds and awareness for the Wounded Warrior Project."

I'm going to support him!! I love seeing things like this and that is why I'm sharing. If you want to help, or learn more, here are some links -

Seven Summits
Twitter

425 - The Redeployment Tour (music & entertainment) - Combat Veterans

I've been hearing some hype about a group, 425, composed of two combat veterans, Neal Saunders and Terrance Staves, who released their first album "Live From Iraq" in March 2005. They've been featured on MTV, FOX NEWS, BBC, NPR, in Black Book, SPIN, Rolling Stone, Newsweek and more...

425 is doing their own clothing line too. From their group on Facebook - "Now, 4 albums and 6 years later, 425 music is changing the world! They want to bring the term "Soldier Up" into the civilian world. The term "Soldier Up" is a way of life for a Soldier on the battlefield and since they are both no longer enlisted, their battlefield is now life! They are launching a clothing line with that very same title of "Soldier Up" and want the world to wear their clothing and realize that standing idly by will not solve anything. You have to "Soldier Up" and do what has to be done or things will never change."

I have learned that 425 is also involved in a non-profit agency in Ohio called "A Dollar to Care" ... From their group on Facebook - "They support incarcerated Soldiers and their families. They currently have 16 families they are helping with 1 pending. Too often a Soldier is charged with a war crime for ensuring his own survival at war and the families suffer."

My wonderful friend Fran had the opportunity to go and see 425 perform in Killeen, Tx. She sent me one of their shirts and their CD. I'm not big on rap, BUT I really dig their CD. They speak about real life/worldly issues and issues that plague veterans of war.

I highly suggest checking them out and sharing with others who you may feel will appreciate their music, their way of life and their stance.

*Disclaimer - I am in no way, shape or form getting any kind of compensation for writing this and "advertising" 425. I simply support the "movement" of these combat veterans who have selflessly served their country. This is my way of saying "Thank you".

Links to find them around the web:
fourtwentyfive.com -their website
425TV - their Youtube Channel
THE TIME IS NOW 4:25!!! - their group on Facebook
4:25 - their Facebook Fan page

Here I am wearing my "Soldier Up" shirt:

National Alcohol/Drug Addiction Recovery Month - Sept 2011

I like to try and bring some awareness to important things each month. I haven't done anything the past 2 months because nothing really caught my eye. I had several things to choose from this month - National Sickle Cell Month, Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month, Children's Eye Health and Safety Month...and a few others... but this month I chose to go with...

National Alcohol/Drug Addiction Recovery Month - Sept 2011

There are a few reasons why I chose to bring awareness to this. *Personal moment coming up* -

My first reason for wanting to bring awareness to Alcohol/Drug Addiction Recovery is because my sisters dad was an alcoholic and did many drugs. I use to wish, for her sake, that he would get help and stay clean (he always relapsed). When on alcohol/drugs even the most nice people can become monsters... as did my sisters dad. When he was sober he would do anything in the world for you... he was a clean cut guy who would give his last dime to a man on the street. He loved my sister and I believe he loved my mom as well. We didn't know he had a hidden side...a darker side... finally he couldn't hide his addictions any longer and we saw the part of him that we never wanted to. Long story short, the night he died (out in the cold, with nothing but hospital scrub pants on, no shirt, no shoes, nothing) he was drunk.. he was on his way to kill my mother, according to eyewitnesses. Let me say again, he was on his way to kill my mother... while I'm sorry he lost his life and the chance to get clean and be a good man for his daughter, I think my sister is better off. Now, maybe if he the right people to help him and the right resources, he could have gotten clean... I know you can't get clean unless you want to, but I honestly believe he wanted to.... anyways../personal moment lol

My second reason for wanting to bring awareness to Alcohol/Drug Addiction Recovery is because of the military. Surprise surprise!! Who saw that coming? LOL - We all know that people have problems with alcohol/drugs for various reasons and even military members do... from my own eyes though, I have noticed it more among the military members (specifically army b/c that is what we're affiliated with) who have gone and come back from war. Some soldiers just can't deal with the things they have seen... they won't seek counseling because they think it will ruin their careeer, they will look weak, they are in denial...or whatever reason they come up with... so instead they turn to alcohol and drugs to cope. We all know that drugs doesn't just mean illegal drugs...

In an article I read while googling (I love google!!) I found out that drug abuse doubled among U.S. military personnel from 2002 to 2005 and almost tripled between 2005 and 2008. I wonder what the numbers are now?

I also read in that same article that "A study of Army soldiers screened 3 to 4 months after returning from deployment to Iraq showed that 27 percent met criteria for alcohol abuse and were at increased risk for related harmful behaviors (e.g., drinking and driving, using illicit drugs). And although soldiers frequently report alcohol concerns, few are referred to alcohol treatment. Research findings highlight the need to improve screening and access to care for alcohol-related problems among service members returning from combat deployments. Drug or alcohol use frequently accompanies mental health problems and was involved in 30 percent of the Army's suicide deaths from 2003 to 2009 and in more than 45 percent of non-fatal suicide attempts from 2005 to 2009." ((source))

This alone tells us that alcohol/drug addiction is a problem for some of our military members and they need help. It doesn't just affect them and their careers..it affects those who love them...especially those who live with them.

Getting help isn't easy, but it is the right thing to do. And I believe that if the ones we love have our support, getting help and recovering will be easier for them. Here are some links to point you in the right direction if you need them:

Recovery Month 2011 - great info!!
Army Substance Abuse Program - more great info!!
Army OneSource - great info and more links!!

The Recovery Month Color is purple so I've made this picture for *AWDIWH* for the month of Sept 2011.

Be knowledgable!

Since I have been dealing with so many wives on a regular basis, I have come across something that is driving me insane... this "something" is one of the reasons I had decided to make my fan page on facebook - *AWDIWH*

For me, when I got to our first duty station, I had to learn a lot on my own because my husband was shipped off to Iraq after a few months. Thank God for the women I met who helped me b/c I didn't have access to the internet and my best friend "google" =)...

Here are some things I think are important:

1. Know the location of the Tricare Office, DEERS, JAG, commissary, PX, your husbands company, the hospital, the Army Community Service building...and so on... some places may be found in one single building like here at Stewart we have the Soldier Service Building..either way, know where the important places are at each post you live at!!

2. When your spouse deploys make sure you have access to mypay and the bank account!! Make sure you have a POA (power of attorney) that will cover everything you might need. We always get me specific POA's because some places are just ananl. This last deployment I had a general POA, a special POA, a POA for DEERS, Taxes, JAG and one specifically for housing. Find out what ones you need for your post and get them!! If you need one that you don't have while he is gone it is going to be hell trying to get one with him in another country.

3. For the soldier specifically - DON'T LEAVE YOUR SPOUSE IN THE DARK!! TELL YOUR SPOUSE THE THINGS THEY SHOULD KNOW!!! There are some things that I see and it leaves me wondering "why the hell didn't your soldier tell you these things?!" You soldiers who are married need to realize that we, as spouses, CAN NOT help you properly with day to day things that concern the army or help you with certain things when you're gone if you don't tell us what we need to know!! ((Special thanks to my husband for always keeping me informed!))

4. OPSEC/PERSEC - just read it..and follow it lol

5. Please please please!!!! make sure you have a support network!! You never know when you will need it for an emergency or just your sanity. =)

Out of Control...

Let's start from the beginning of this whole mess... I will not refer to people by their real names. I'm sure some involved are embarrassed enough, but I have to share this because I'm just dumbfounded at the ignorance and lack of control that I have seen this past week.

This started on Tuesday. My friend, whom I will refer to as "Spouse" dropped off her 2yr old for the day with me because I have been watching him for her. All was well all day long until my son came home and told me that "M" (a boy who lives 2 houses down) had my friend "Spouse's" other son on the ground after school with his arm twisted behind his back. Naturally, when "Spouse" came to pick up her baby, I let her know of this situation. She went next door to speak to "M's" mother, who I will now refer to as "Soldier", but she wasn't home yet. So "Spouse" let the two boys know that she would be coming back later to talk to their mother about what was going on.

A few hours later "Spouse" came over and I went with her to "Soldier's" house to try to resolve this issue with the kids. I went because my son is the one who saw the altercation. When "Spouse" and "Soldier" were talking, "Soldier's" other son, "A", was there. "Soldier" asked "A" what happened after school and he kept giving some jumbled explanation and then started getting hype and rude with "Spouse". Then "Spouse" says to "Soldier" in so many words that she needed to tell her boys not to be putting their hands on other peoples kids and they needed to be taught some respect. Well that didn't go over well with "Soldier". They exchanged some words and "Soldier" told "Spouse" - "you black bitch you need to take your ass back to the ghetto"... My face dropped!! I couldn't believe she said that. So then "Spouse" tells "Soldier" - "make me take my black ass back to the ghetto"... that is when "Soldier" hit "Spouse" and a fight broke out. "A" tried to jump on "Spouse" and I grabbed him and pulled him off yelling to get out of it before he got hurt. When "Spouse" saw the boy was trying to jump in it she backed away and turned around. Then "A" yelled out that "Spouse" punched him, which she didn't, and that caused "Soldier" to come up to "Spouse" and hit her again. Which resulted in her getting her ass beat...bad. The MP's were there, the ambulance, CID...it was crazy..

The next day, Wednesday, "Spouse" went to the school to let them know that her kids weren't gonna be there because of this altercation. You see, "A" was in the same class as "Spouse's" daughter "S". She knew there would be tension and she wanted to let it cool down a bit.

So, yesterday, Thursday, during school at recess, "A" was picking on and pushing "S" around. Nothing more happened with them... at that point. Well, my son comes home and tells me that "M", the same boy from Tuesday who had put his hands on "Spouse's" son, had pushed MY daughter in the back and then punched her in the back. Being my Pookie, she smashed the little boy in the face and ran home crying. I decided not to approach "Soldier" about her son because I was a witness to what had happened when "Spouse" approached her. I didn't need to be getting into a fight. I just figured, okay, the boy learned his lesson because my daughter shocked him by hitting him back.

Fast forward about 2hrs... "Spouse" comes to pick up her baby and told her about the boy hitting my daughter and we were talking about how "Soldier's" boys were out of control. "Spouse" goes home. Next thing I know, "Spouse" is rushing in my door telling me to call the MP's because "Soldier's" son, "A", had attacked her daughter "S" with a stick and a knife. He had pulled her hair, threw her on the ground and kicked her in the stomach. At this point I'm in complete shock. Srsly! What 10yr old kid does that shit?! My son saw the whole thing and made a report to the MP's...

Now, I had done had enough at this point and so had my friend "Spouse". I went to the MP's and filed a report about the boy hitting my daughter. I also went to the school to make them aware of the boy hitting my daughter. Together, "Spouse" and I went to the housing office and made resident complaints about "Soldier's" kids. I also gave them a copy of my sworn statement to the police. Turns out, they have a file already on "Soldier's" kids and "Soldier" said in one of the reports "they are kids on a military installation, that is what they do".

Now, all because "Soldier" doesn't have her kids in control, she is about to get evicted. Her command is being involved and everything. I'm pretty sure this is not going to look good for her army career.

So, there are more details, but that is the gist of it. This just goes to show that kids WILL behave according to their examples and kids who have no supervision and little discipline WILL be trouble makers.

I have not had problems living on post in 9yrs until this week. The problem was not with another wife, it wasn't some petty drama... it was out of control kids and a mother who apparently displays some questionable actions in front of her kids. If my kids went around hitting on others and calling people "black bitches" and "fags" they would not be able to even walk. Yes, "Soldier's" son "A" said those things....I heard him. SMH...

CONTROL YOUR KIDS LADY!!! /rant

Their Courage - by Roger J. Robicheau

Their courage deems utmost respect
Their mission clear, our way protect

It’s sure to each what they must do
No give or take, keep freedom true

With the grand old flag, they'll unite
Whenever they must, march to fight

A life we know counts hard on them
Without their ranks, hellish problem

If our Armed Forces ceased to be
How long could we survive as free

Let’s well realize the truthful score
We need our troops just like before

Boils down to this, words to engrave
Land of The Free, Due to The Brave

God Bless each one for being there
Their loved ones too, unending care

Hope born from love touches the will
Do back them strong, means to fulfill

Americans – Who Serve To Give
One Nation – Under God We Live

©2005 Roger J. Robicheau

Mental Health Awarness Month - May ~ Help our troops!!

May is "Mental Health Awareness Month" so I think this entry is pretty appropriate.

I'm very upset this morning as I write this. Do you know how many soldiers don't get help with their problems, when they KNOW they have them, because the doctors don't listen to them? Or the doctors are just assholes... or they fear ridicule, or reprimand... or they are always sent away with motrin and not taken seriously? Motrin doesn't cure everything!!!

Now, I know there are lots of soldiers who do get help, but even one who doesn't get help b/c they feel it is useless to keep trying is one too many being neglected.

In 2004 the Army's first study of  mental health of troops who fought in Iraq showed that 1 in 8 reported symptoms of PTSD. Did you know it also stated that less than half of those sought help for it because they feared it hurting their careers? So sad....

I know there had been more outreach and more being done to help our troops but I fear it just isn't enough.  Did you know that in 2002, the year before the Iraq War began, there were 350 suicide attempts among our troops? Well, in 2007 that number jumped to 2,100.

I urge every family member to encourage their service member to seek help if they have signs of depression or PTSD. I urge every service member themselves to seek help if you know need it. While I will never understand the pride in serving, or the fear in seeking help because you don't want to ruin your career, I do understand and can sympathize with the family members of those who suffer from mental health problems. I have seen it with friends and see what they go through because they feel helpless when it comes to helping their servicemember who is suffering. It is rough on everyone involved.

Soldiers coming back from war are more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, PTSD, anger management, mood disorders... the list goes on... go to Military OneSource and use the resources to seek help, or at least find out where to start.

You can also seek out help through your local ACS (Army Community Service) and your post Chaplin. If you go to church, seek guidance from your Pastor.

While this started out as about our troops, I also know the spouses can develop mental health problems with all the stress and things that come about with deployments. You MUST take care of yourself, physically & mentally!! If you feel you need help as well, contact Military OneSource and have them set you up with counseling as a start. They will find someone in your area and it is confidential. I called them when we lived at Fort Hood and saw a wonderful therapist!! She helped me tremendously and it was a huge relief. Don't be afraid because you're not alone.

Here are two other previous blog posts of mine that may have helpful info for you too:
Family Support Systems
Risk Factors & Warning Signs for Families - Suicide Prevention

As always, thanks for reading... much love and many blessings =)

"Don't Marry a Soldier" - My responses to this idiocy...

So, I've been seeing something floating around facebook and I'm gonna address it here. The "article" is called "Don't Marry A Soldier" and you can read it HERE. I will copy/paste each of the reasons these idiots list ((there are 37 of them)) and I will respond to each one. My answers/comments will be in red. ~

1. In 2009, 6000 vets committed suicide. Why? Because they were so ashamed of themselves that they felt compelled to execute themselves. Think how many more vets are crippled with guilt who want to commit suicide but can’t quite bring themselves to do it. ((and you know the reason they committed suicide? are you psychic? do you have all knowing powers? yeah, didn't think so)) Do you want to risk marrying someone who deserts you by killing himself? ((how do you know my husband would kill himself? you don't... not every soldier is the same...just like not every muslim is a terrorist)) Do you want to be married to a man who has committed deeds so terrible he feels suicide is the only way to atone for them? ((again, are you all knowing? how do you know what any of these soldiers are thinking or feeling?))  Do you want to be tied to someone who is so suicidally depressed that no treatment or medication helps? ((yes, if this happened to my husband i would stand by him...it's called love...that's what i do)) Do you want a man in your bed, or near your kids, who has committed deeds so unspeakably awful he is too ashamed to tell anyone what they were. ((and you know they ALL committed "unspeakable and awful deeds" how? not all who are deployed even see combat)) Psychopaths are incredibly charming. ((psychopathy: a mental disorder in which an individual manifests amoral and antisocial behavior, lack of ability to love or establish meaningful personal relationships --- my husband has been deployed 4 times and is far from antisocial, he has tons of love in him and he has many meaningful personal relationships...you FAIL)) 

2. Your loved one will be off for months and years at a time. He may be back only days before being shipped out again. This can be a pretty lonely life. If you have children, you will be largely raising them by yourself. Without a full time father, they are more likely to have behavioural problems. Your husband will probably be away when your children are born, leaving you to endure labour alone, and missing those crucial first hours of bonding. Ask any child of a military man. They make distant, aloof fathers. They don’t bond properly. (( do you have proof of this? my husband is gone just about every other year and has a great relationship with all three of his kids... it depends on the husband and wife to keep the relationship with the kids going.. a good father will keep in touch with his kids and bond with them no matter where in the world they are and a good mother will nourish that relationship/bond as much as she can... you FAIL again))

3.The military whips recruits into good physical shape. It is hard not to be swept away by that trim athletic body. That is about the only plus, and even that won’t last forever. If you do decide to marry a soldier, that is probably the real reason. Hormones are taking over your brain. You are picking a good mate as if you lived in a cave and needed a muscular brute to protect you from wild animals. Think of the misery you know others have found marrying a handsome bastard. ((my husband has been athletic all his life and played sports all throughout high school..we've been together for 15yrs and married BEFORE he joined the army ... i married my high school sweetheart and father of my kids, not a soldier))

4. If your husband participates is an aggressive war (illegal first strike war) such as Afghanistan or Iraq, he is guilty of a capital war crime, even if he just peeled potatoes. The USA currently does not recognise the authority of the world court and acts to protect its vets from proscecution. However, the USA will not always be the world’s only superpower and won’t be able to thumb its nose at the world court forever. In the meantime, other countries are treaty bound to prosecute your husband if he steps on their soil. Most don’t do it, because they fear the American reprisal, but that will not necessarily always be true. There is no statute of limitations on war crimes. Prosecuted or not, you are still married to a war criminal, guilty of the same crime as the Nazis hanged at the end of WW II. ((and you're the expert on war crimes? where is your proof of this? you make no references or links to back anything you say))


5. Unless he reaches high rank, he will never be able to provide for you and your family properly. Many soldiers’ wives live worse than those on welfare. ((really? my husband is now higher ranking than a SGT and even when he was an E-1 we lived good... way better than before he joined the army...next))

6. You will be transferred over and over. You have to pull up roots on a moments notice and move off somewhere else. You have no say in the matter. ((I happen to like moving and meeting new people and seeing lots of places....pretty exciting if you ask me..)) If you have children, they will become army brats, children who never learn to socialise with other children since they are never in one place long enough to make lasting friends, children who do poorly in school because of the repeated disruptions. ((my kids socialize great, do pretty well in school and have tons of friends...if anything they are more social and outgoing)) You can’t have a carreer of your own because you are forced over and over to quit without notice. All this moving means you can’t put down roots anywhere or make lasting friends. ((some women don't think careers are all that important, family comes first...and you can still have lasting friends even when you move..i do)) You are nothing more than the wife of your husband, a decorative adjunct without value in your own right. You won’t even have the support of your family since they may be continent’s away. ((i'm decorative? cool, i always thought i was kinda pretty... and you don't need to be in the same town for your family to support you... do you really believe the shit you're writing? lol)) 

7. You will constantly dread that phone call or knock on the door to let you know your husband has been seriously injured or killed. There will be a knock on the door. There will be a man in crew cut standing there who says, “I am sorry for your loss” in a rather wooden, bored way. ((not really, i don't focus on the negative things, but thanks for being concerned )) You will have to start your life all over from scratch. Or it could be your husband himself in a wheelchair, looking many pounds overweight, speaking in a halting, brain-damaged, distracted voice, like someone with Alzheimers, with an ostomy bag strapped to his stomach. Loss of genitals is a common injury. For the rest of his life, you are obligated to be his nurse rather than his wife. ((and i would gladly take care of him b/c i love him...physical appearance is not everything))

8. Your husband can be killed at any time. It is a sword of Damocles over your head for his entire career. He will leave you to care for your family as a single parent. ((my husband could be killed in a car accident here if he weren't a soldier, what's your point? and who says i would stay a single parent? eventually i would remarry))

9. It is common for soldiers to suffer from PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He may panic at any loud sound. He may wake up in the night screaming. He may attack you imagining you are an enemy soldier. He may become paranoid. Make sure you learn what PTSD is before you presume love will automatically give you the resources to deal with it. ((so should my husband not be with me b/c i'm a woman and could be raped and get PTSD? fail again... you can get PTSD from tons of things, not just being in a war))

10. If you discovered your fiancé had murdered his previous two wives, you might have second thoughts, ditto if you had discovered he had murdered a dozen strangers of random ages and genders just because he was paid to. You are considering marrying a man who is under unbreakable contract to the government to kill strangers and who may have already done it. If he later gets a crisis of conscience and refuses to kill one of his assigned targets, he can he shot on the spot. What kind of person signs such a contract? Not even Mafioso enslave themselves to that extent. ((people who are not soldiers kill others simply for looking at them wrong, at least soldiers get paid ;) haha, don't like my joke? too bad...))


11. Soldiers often do some disreputable things under peer pressure that they avoid talking about. This is includes drinking to excess, whoring, drug-taking, raping, bullying and terrorising, hazing, killing and raping children and torturing. The fundamentalist Taliban had eliminated drug trafficking. Under US military control, Afghanistan has risen to #1 heroin producer in the world, selling over a trillion dollars worth a year. This could not happen if US soldiers were not complicit in the drug trade. Recall that a significant number of US soldiers returned from Vietnam addicted to heroin. The remote control nature of much of modern warfare ensures the primary targets will be children and civilians. A soldier often does not even see his victims. When he kills blindly like this e.g. with napalm, cluster bombs, land mines or white phosphorus, in a third world country like Iraq where most of the people are under 15, inevitably he kills more children than adults, and civilians than soldiers. In addition when American soldiers attack they have a massive advantage in power, armaments and technology. This power corrupts them to toy with the civilian populations, to torment them for amusements like a child tormenting insects. The military likes remote control warfare because it keeps their soldiers safe, and it protects the soldiers from emotionally feeling the impact of their butchery. These soldiers look just like anyone else. You would never guess from the soldiers’ clean-cut faces what mischief they have been up to. Recall the pudgy boyish face of Lt. Calley of the Mai Lai massacre in Vietnam. The domestic charms of house and home don’t quite do it for them anymore. These sadistic desires were always in the background. The thrill of violence was part of the appeal for them enlisting — to commit cruel acts without any possibility of legal repercussions. When you marry a soldier, you are marrying someone more prone to abusing you and your children too. His standards of what constitutes acceptable behaviour are warped by war experience. ((all i have to say to this entire thing is that not all soldiers go to war, duh))

12. A Canadian soldier returned from the relatively gentle Afghanistan war with PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He repeatedly abused his infant triplet sons, breaking 19 of their bones. He blamed the attacks on his condition. Do you really want someone with PTSD anywhere near your kids or near you?((i would say the problem lies with the mother here if she is continuing to let her kids be around someone who is abusing them and needs help))

13. Your husband can suffer a brain injury or be made a paraplegic. This is 2 to 8 times as likely as death depending whom you ask. Professor Stiglitz of Columbia University said that as of 2006-01, there were more than 7000 servicemen with brain, spinal, amputation and other serious injuries, and about 20% of those injured have suffered major head or spinal injury. This turns him into a giant infant who has to be feed, bathed and diapers changed. You are morally stuck with caring for him 24/7 for the rest of your life whether you continue to love him or not. ((again, this could happen to a civilian in a car wreck... next))

14. When you rip off the pretty bunting, what the military is about is killing, torturing, maiming and terrorising people. In modern warfare, most of the victims are civilians and most of those are children. On some level, your husband was drawn to this killing. ((lol, really? do you know my husband to know what he is "drawn" too? have you served in the military to know what it is all about? do you ignore the good the military does just to justify your idiotic thoughts?)) 

15. You also might wonder about a man that selected an occupation that would keep him away from his wife most of the time, especially when he spends that time in the company of young fit men excluding the company of women. If he is a closeted homosexual or bisexual, getting married primarily to satisfy the demands of his parents and church, you are in for a life of misery. He will never be able to truly love you. He will never be true to you. Gay men used to sign on as sailors in the days of sailing ships, but would have a wife, in name only. Even straight men in prisons and in the military without access to women often resort to homosexual encounters. ((so now all military men are gay? bwahahaahaa lol))

16. Soldiers are often exposed to teratogens like DU, herbicides (like Vietnam’s Agent Orange laced with dioxin), chemicals, chemical warfare, biological warfare, not to mention exotic parasites and tropical diseases. This may cause cancer later, or even more likely will cause your children and their children to be genetically deformed. Would you ever forgive yourself if your child was born hideously deformed, or even mildly damaged because of the damage these agents did to your husband’s sperm?  ((yeah i don't have to worry about that b/c i won't be having any more kids))

17. If you love and cherish your husband, you are encouraging and enabling him to do his job of soldiering. Soldiering is a sickening, revolting job, and it takes the memory of a loving wife for many to continue. You then became complicit is his war crimes. You are morally tarred with his misdeeds. ((what made you think i have morals?)) Today, Canada and the USA only fight in illegal aggressive wars. They are not defending their countries as did soldiers in past. You are sacrificing yourself for goals as evil as any Nazi wife did, mostly killing civilians and children and teenagers who posed no threat to Canada, the USA or Britain. Have a look at photos of some of the children hideously tortured and killed by the likes of people just like your husband. ((so all soldiers torture people? thanks for the info)) The people who committed these atrocities appear just as sweet as your guy. They don’t have green saliva. That is his dirty secret. He gets off on killing, and admit it, so do you or your heart would not be attracted to such a man. ((oh yes!! killing turns me on!! i'm getting all worked up just reading this!! hold on, i need to take care of that..........okay, i'm back, that was great ;) ...idiot))

18. If your soldier lover woos you, and holds out the promise of marriage, but never seems to pop the question, consider he may already have a wife back home, and he is just using you for sex. ((uh huh, i'm the wife hon))


19. ((all i read was "blah blah blah" more dumb words lol))

20. On 2007-10-15 a young woman told me she had gone to a bar and met a pleasant young man, who turned out be joining the military. The young woman recoiled, and asked “How will you feel when you are ordered to drop a bomb? You will be killing innocent people, perhaps a child. How will you feel about killing a child?” He responded, “It wouldn’t matter so long as it was a foreign child.” This is every soldier’s true answer. He could not kill children, a required side effect of modern warfare, if it weren’t. You don’t want that sort of man anywhere near your children. ((wrong, my husband would say it's either the kid or him, and that would be concerning any child with a bomb strapped to his chest, foreign or not))

21. Military men can become addicted to combat. They crave the danger, the killing and the intense emotional involvement with other men. Peaceful civilian life just bores them and they abandon their families over and over to get their adrenalin fix with their buddies. ((anything can be addictive... again with the involvement with men, are you gay? you seem fixated on it))

22. Military life is all about giving and executing orders. Mentally healthy people don’t enjoy bullying or being bullied. By marrying a soldier you are on some level getting involved in a relationship game of dominance/submission, even S&M. ((we only do the dominance in the bedroom ;) thanks)) If you are not into it yourself, you are setting yourself up for hell. The fantasy may be titilating, but the reality is for most people either terminally boring or terrifying. The military is all about hierarchy, status and blind obedience the very opposite of the teamwork equality needed for a good marriage. ((isn't this how the government and some churches are? preach about them too please))

23. What do you think of the wife of a serial killer, someone who murders dozens of innocent women and children? Someone like Karla Homolka. You feel revulsion. You wonder what sort of perverse motivation attracted her to such a killer. You wonder how she could bear to lie in bed next to such a creep. That is how many people will feel about you if you a marry a soldier, aka a hit man, a serial killer paid by the military to butcher and torture innocent people with illegal horror weapons such as napalm, cluster bombs, white phosphorus and land mines. To create shock & awe, they use weapons that kill as more painfully than any civilian serial killer would devise. Even after you come to your senses and divorce the creep, the shame will stick to you for the rest of your life. ((you obviously don't know me very well, i don't give a fuck what people think of me.... and the good my husband has done while in his military career far outweighs the bad...for that i carry pride, not shame))

24. How do you feel about Eva von Braun, Mrs. Adolph Hitler? She did not kill anyone, but she supported her husband in some rather unsavoury acts. Were she still alive, people would spit on her, and try to run her down with their cars. Your potential husband will be a war criminal, like Hitler, just not on such a grand scale, but if his deeds were known, (especially torture, white phosphorous and crimes against children), it would bring equal disapprobation on you. Some people will despise you even more than they despise the Nazi wives for your role is supporting and encouraging your serial killer husband. The Nazi wives had the excuse of being swept away by masterful propaganda. You don’t. You took on your support role with eyes wide open. You can expect the hatred toward you to grow, just as it did the Nazi wives, as the deeds of their husbands became more widely known. ((see previous response please))

 25. Many soliders become addicted to dangerous drugs. They are easy to get and cheap in third world countries. They many not even realise they are taking heavy drugs. For example in the Vietnam era, Viet Cong would secretly salt American soldiers’ beer with opium. Further, soldiers lied to themselves that opium in this form was harmless. They may take drugs to deal with the pressure of combat. Drugs are known under local names, and soldiers kid themselves they must be harmless. Timothy McVeigh became addicted to methamphetamines while on duty in Desert Storm in Iraq. This made him psychotic. Life in a combat zone has few pleasures and many sorrows so soldiers commonly turn to drugs for relief just to cope. ((come on, drugs? lawyers become addicted to drugs, people in the music business become addicted to drugs.. again, where are your studies? all your fail is hilarious))

26. Eventually the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq will be over, and people from those countries will come as tourists or immigrants to the USA. It is not rocket science to find out who “served“ in Afghanistan and Iraq and even the atrocities they were involved in. Your husband’s victims may decide the only way they can have closure is to kill him, you and your entire family. This is trivially easy to accomplish in peacetime thanks to the NRA. Pray they do it in a way less painful and lingering your husband used. ((did you serve with my husband? did you seem him to horrible things to people? yeah i didn't think so... you make yourself look like an ASS when you ASSume all this stuff))

27. ((blah blah blah...more nazi crap...come on dude, you're boring me here))

28. Many returning from Iraq become mental basket cases unable to deal with the horrors of war and the guilt at what they have done. They beat up their children and wives and are emotionally distant. ((blah blah blah, more comments about ptsd and drugs/alcohol and abuse... why are you repeating the same reasons but wording them differently? running out of stuff?))

29.  ((here he compares soldiers and wives to Dahmer and his girls...lol okay))

30. There are many additional reasons not to marry a soldier, which are reasons why your husband should not enlist. Many of those penalties, you will feel too. ((i thought there were only 37 reasons? should i follow the link just to see more of the same crap you're spewing but worded differently? nah, i'll pass))

31. Perhaps your soldier boy has snowed you that he is a brave fighter for freedom, nobly protecting his country from the bad guys. ((no, not really... he joined to provide for his family the best way he knew how considering where we lived and our situation...there you go, thinking you know EVERY soldier again...))

32. Some soldiers are really really stupid. They are Nazis at heart, who just go along with killing without making any effort at all to see if it is justified. They honestly think that Iraq and Afghanistan attacked the USA on 9/11 (even Bush claimed it was executed by Saudis and funded by Pakistan, setting aside all evidence for inside collusion) and they are killing peasants and children who have no weapons in order to protect their loved ones back home in the USA. These are the sort of people who appear on Jay Leno’s Jay Walking segment who are so out of touch with world events they don’t even know the name of their president. They don’t make any effort to see if the murders they are about to commit are justified because they fantasise they will enjoy killing. They don’t want the facts to interfere with their fun. Someone that stupid, that cruel and that selfish will never make an adequate bread winner. ((i am completely amazed at your gift to read the minds of every soldier in the world to know what they think and how they feel... were you born with this gift?))

33. The problem with marrying a soldier is that his is already married to the military. You will always play second fiddle. He will always do what they want, not what you want. The military will decide what country you live in, whom you socialise with, when your husband will leave you and for how long. They will decide whom your husband will kill next, and what risks he will take. They will even decide what sort of haircut he has and how he wears his facial hair. They will decide where your kids go to school. They will decide your income. You are marrying a Momma’s boy who likes being told what to do, and by someone who is not you. ((didn't you already say something to this effect in a previous comment? **yawns**))

34. However, if you are foreign born, and just want to get a meal ticket to the US-economy gravy train, marrying a soldier might make sense. He will be away most of the time, so you won’t have to have much sex with him. There is a good chance he will get his head blown off by an IED or turned into a mental vegetable. You can then marry someone else, without all his drawbacks, while you are still young. ((so now you approve? either you're against marrying them or you aren't...make up your mind))

35. Since time immemorial, man have escaped their duty to look after their children by running away to war. ((better to running off to war than just to leave for no reason ;) now that would suck ass))

36. Some of these points you will see clearly apply to the guy you are thinking of marrying. Some of these points clearly do not apply. Some disadvantages you may be unwilling to accept, but could well prove to apply later. All I ask is that you think deeply before leaping into a marriage that could ruin your life. Ask other women who have married men similar to the one you are planning to marry about the advantages and disadvantages. ((so you admit that not all soldiers are like you describe? lol silly wabbit))

 37. Women who are sexually attracted to men who kill children should not be permitted near children either, not even their own. ((i was sexin' my hubs before he joined ;) it was good too))

**from reading everything in this idiots post i have come to the conclusion he is an anarchist which explains his idiocy... i shall pray for him... 

Generalizations are pure ignorance!!

Here was the question on a facebook page:

"How do you feel about Muslims in the Army? Thoughts? Opinions?"

Here was a response that really irked me:

"I am not even going to get started on this one .. considering what happened at Fort Hood and as a veteran ... yea .. I'm keeping this to myself."

Now, this to me leads me to believe she doesn't like Muslims in the Army. Just because of one man. So, I wonder, if the shooter at Fort Hood was a Christian, would she have a problem with Christians in the military?

And then, on my facebook fanpage there was a post about husbands adding female soldiers to their facebook. Someone said, "And MOST female soldiers ARE out for whatever they can get, because nine times out of ten they KNOW they can get it. It isn't just other womens husbands, but just men in general. I am thankful my husband is infantry and therefore doesn't run into women, but Women, especially female soldiers, are in love with infantry men cause they tend to be seen as the elite." ... and then she wrote, "I FIND THAT MOST FEMALE SOLDIERS, AT LEAST THE LOWER ENLISTED SOLDIERS ARE SLUTS. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. IT'S MY OPINION AND I AM ENTITLED TO IT."

Now, while it is her opinion, and she is entitled to it, I think it's a crock of shit and that is MY OPINION. How can she say "most female soldiers"? Does she know most of them? I highly doubt it.

That would be like me saying that just b/c I know some men soldiers who cheated on their wives that all men soldiers who are married are going to cheat.

And we all know the stereotypical "army wives are cheating whores who only want the money and benefits."

Come on!! As long as people keep this ignorance going, our country is going to continue to be on its way to hell in a flaming ball of fire wrapped in the hatred of others.