Helping Someone you Love who has PTSD

Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can occur after you have been through a trauma. PTSD in the military doesn't just come from being in a war zone. It can come from other things too... being robbed, being in a horrible accident, being raped or being a victim of any sexual assualt.

Let's start with some PTSD facts -

Experts think PTSD occurs:
*In about 11-20% of Veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars (Operations Iraqi and Enduring Freedom), or in 11-20 Veterans out of 100.
*In as many as 10% of Gulf War (Desert Storm) Veterans, or in 10 Veterans out of 100.
*In about 30% of Vietnam Veterans, or about 30 out of 100 Vietnam Veterans.
*23 out of 100 women (23%) reported sexual assault when in the military.
*55 out of 100 women (55%) and 38 out of 100 men (38%) have experienced sexual harassment when in the military.

During my google search I found this - Five Rules for Helping Someone with PTSD


Rule #1: Do not take her behavior personally.
PTSD is not about you. It is about her fear. It is about her anxiety. It is about her pain. It is not about you. Understanding this does not make the problems (or obnoxious behaviors) go away. But it can keep your feelings and your relationship from being hurt unnecessarily.

Rule #2: Set boundaries
Do not under any circumstances tolerate unacceptable behavior.
Do not tolerate abuse of any kind. You are not a punching bag or a target for degrading insults.

Rule #3: Do not expect much in return.
Right now your loved one doesn't have much to offer because they are most likely struggling just to get through the day. You WILL NEED your own support network.

Rule #4: Do not judge.
Your loved one may need/want to talk about it with you. It may make them feel better to get it out and they need someone they can trust to come to w/o fear of being judged.

Rule #5: Have fun.
Remind your loved one of fun times and do fun things together. Even if they don't want to, they might just do it to please you and they might just get into it. Laughter heals...having fun almost always brings about laughter.

((I found this info at http://www.heal-post-traumatic-stress.com/index.html - lots of other great links on this site too))

More helpful links:
16 Ways To Help A Friend With Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
HELP WITH POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS (PTSD)
PTSD Support
Help 4 PTSD

If you're an app person with your phone, check out PTSD Coach - PTSD Coach mobile app wins FCC award for helping people use technology to manage PTSD symptoms.

Hope this helps some =)

Breast Reduction - Part 11 *1 month Check up*

Yesterday was my 4 week check up (although not technically 4wks until the 9th) and it went well =) The doctor says I'm healing great, except for one area under the left side that is taking a little longer. I have been given the "go ahead" to start using ScarGuard and tape for my scars now. (Heads up to any who will have this done, ScarGuard is a tad expensive lol) - Click here for more info on ScarGuard -

I FINALLY remembered to ask my doctor exactly what size I was (I know I was a little bigger than DDD) and exactly how much he had taken off each breast. So, my size was actually an "F" and he took just under 3lbs from each breast. That is about 6lbs total!! Holy Moly!!

Now, as far as how I've been feeling... I'm still swollen, but it has come down a lot and I'm still a little bit sore. Not unbearable and nothing like it was 2wks ago. There is no bleeding or oozing (except a tiny bit under the left side where it is taking longer to heal).

Looks? Well, the right side is still bruised and is more swollen than the left side. It seems that overall the surgery was more traumatic for the right side. The shape is still a bit "footballish" because of the swelling, but my doctor tells me that this will change as they continue heal. They will fall into their normal shape as the swelling continues to go down and the scars continue to heal.

I have some days where I feel great when it comes to my energy levels and then there are days where I do the dishes and feel exhausted. I have to keep reminding myself it hasn't been that long and I still need time to recoop lol... plus I think my thyroid meds are whacky...AGAIN.. ugh...

Oh! I can also go without a bra now!! What a relief too...wearing one for almost 4wks straight (except for cleaning the area and bandaging it back up again) was hell. I like being "free" lol

My next appt is in 6wks... so let's break down the timeline...

June 2011 - I had my doctor put in the referral request for the plastic surgeon.. it took about 2wks for Tricare to approve it but I had to wait until August to set up my first appointment because I was going to be gone in July.

August 3, 2011 - My very first appointment with the surgeon, my consultation appointment. He said I was a great candidate and he put in my referral for the actual surgery itself. It took 2wk for Tricare to approve the surgery.

August 31, 2011 - My pre-op appointment! I signed some papers and got my meds and after care instructions.

September 9, 2011 - The day I had my surgery.

September 14, 2011 - My first post-op appointment

September 21, 2011 - My second post-op appointment

October 5, 2011 - My third post-op appointment, the one month mark


So, it took me about 3months to actually get my surgery done once the first referral was submitted to Tricare. It may have been shorter because they could have gotten me in the surgeons office for my first appointment in July, but I wasn't gonna be home lol.... Not a bad timeline though. =)

Breast Reduction - Part 7 *Healing*

It's been 3 days since my surgery and I'm not in too much pain. Mainly discomfort and soreness. I've been blessed with friends and family who care and help. On Saturday, my friend Dee took the kids so I could get uninterrupted rest and Darrell waited on me hand and foot...he has cleaned the house and on Sunday he cooked a nice roast dinner. He helps me with my bandages when I need him to and he does it all with no complaints or ugly faces... I'm surprised he doesn't run and scream, they look horrible lol... but I know that is only temporary.

Here is me recovering =) - Can't really see the "tata's" but we have time for that lol

Today, my friend Mistie called and said she wanted to stop over because she had something for me...awww... the thought alone was sweet enough! Then I saw what she got me! For one, I'm a coffee drinker... she got me a mug so that was perfect... then, I just love the design on it! The saying on the mug just topped it off...

"Friends are like a good bra, they give you all the support you need."

How fitting... lol

That's all for my update =)

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