I've been contemplating on a post like this for a while and finally decided to do it. I've been a part of the military spouse community on the internet for at least 6 years now...from Myspace to Facebook. In the beginning of my "myspace days" I will admit, I was a pretty big bitch. We had our group where the new spouses would come in and we would literally attack. I won't say all the things we did, but we were horrible and looking back I'm ashamed of my behavior. I'd like to think that I'm making up for all of the stupid things I did by helping spouses now.
Showing posts with label help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label help. Show all posts
Friday, June 22, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Helping Someone you Love who has PTSD
Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can occur after you have been through a trauma. PTSD in the military doesn't just come from being in a war zone. It can come from other things too... being robbed, being in a horrible accident, being raped or being a victim of any sexual assualt.
Let's start with some PTSD facts -
Experts think PTSD occurs:
*In about 11-20% of Veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars (Operations Iraqi and Enduring Freedom), or in 11-20 Veterans out of 100.
*In as many as 10% of Gulf War (Desert Storm) Veterans, or in 10 Veterans out of 100.
*In about 30% of Vietnam Veterans, or about 30 out of 100 Vietnam Veterans.
*23 out of 100 women (23%) reported sexual assault when in the military.
*55 out of 100 women (55%) and 38 out of 100 men (38%) have experienced sexual harassment when in the military.
During my google search I found this - Five Rules for Helping Someone with PTSD
Rule #1: Do not take her behavior personally.
PTSD is not about you. It is about her fear. It is about her anxiety. It is about her pain. It is not about you. Understanding this does not make the problems (or obnoxious behaviors) go away. But it can keep your feelings and your relationship from being hurt unnecessarily.
Rule #2: Set boundaries
Do not under any circumstances tolerate unacceptable behavior.
Do not tolerate abuse of any kind. You are not a punching bag or a target for degrading insults.
Rule #3: Do not expect much in return.
Right now your loved one doesn't have much to offer because they are most likely struggling just to get through the day. You WILL NEED your own support network.
Rule #4: Do not judge.
Your loved one may need/want to talk about it with you. It may make them feel better to get it out and they need someone they can trust to come to w/o fear of being judged.
Rule #5: Have fun.
Remind your loved one of fun times and do fun things together. Even if they don't want to, they might just do it to please you and they might just get into it. Laughter heals...having fun almost always brings about laughter.
((I found this info at http://www.heal-post-traumatic-stress.com/index.html - lots of other great links on this site too))
More helpful links:
16 Ways To Help A Friend With Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
HELP WITH POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS (PTSD)
PTSD Support
Help 4 PTSD
If you're an app person with your phone, check out PTSD Coach - PTSD Coach mobile app wins FCC award for helping people use technology to manage PTSD symptoms.
Hope this helps some =)
Let's start with some PTSD facts -
Experts think PTSD occurs:
*In about 11-20% of Veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars (Operations Iraqi and Enduring Freedom), or in 11-20 Veterans out of 100.
*In as many as 10% of Gulf War (Desert Storm) Veterans, or in 10 Veterans out of 100.
*In about 30% of Vietnam Veterans, or about 30 out of 100 Vietnam Veterans.
*23 out of 100 women (23%) reported sexual assault when in the military.
*55 out of 100 women (55%) and 38 out of 100 men (38%) have experienced sexual harassment when in the military.
During my google search I found this - Five Rules for Helping Someone with PTSD
Rule #1: Do not take her behavior personally.
PTSD is not about you. It is about her fear. It is about her anxiety. It is about her pain. It is not about you. Understanding this does not make the problems (or obnoxious behaviors) go away. But it can keep your feelings and your relationship from being hurt unnecessarily.
Rule #2: Set boundaries
Do not under any circumstances tolerate unacceptable behavior.
Do not tolerate abuse of any kind. You are not a punching bag or a target for degrading insults.
Rule #3: Do not expect much in return.
Right now your loved one doesn't have much to offer because they are most likely struggling just to get through the day. You WILL NEED your own support network.
Rule #4: Do not judge.
Your loved one may need/want to talk about it with you. It may make them feel better to get it out and they need someone they can trust to come to w/o fear of being judged.
Rule #5: Have fun.
Remind your loved one of fun times and do fun things together. Even if they don't want to, they might just do it to please you and they might just get into it. Laughter heals...having fun almost always brings about laughter.
((I found this info at http://www.heal-post-traumatic-stress.com/index.html - lots of other great links on this site too))
More helpful links:
16 Ways To Help A Friend With Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
HELP WITH POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS (PTSD)
PTSD Support
Help 4 PTSD
If you're an app person with your phone, check out PTSD Coach - PTSD Coach mobile app wins FCC award for helping people use technology to manage PTSD symptoms.
Hope this helps some =)
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Mental Health Awarness Month - May ~ Help our troops!!
May is "Mental Health Awareness Month" so I think this entry is pretty appropriate.
I'm very upset this morning as I write this. Do you know how many soldiers don't get help with their problems, when they KNOW they have them, because the doctors don't listen to them? Or the doctors are just assholes... or they fear ridicule, or reprimand... or they are always sent away with motrin and not taken seriously? Motrin doesn't cure everything!!!
Now, I know there are lots of soldiers who do get help, but even one who doesn't get help b/c they feel it is useless to keep trying is one too many being neglected.
In 2004 the Army's first study of mental health of troops who fought in Iraq showed that 1 in 8 reported symptoms of PTSD. Did you know it also stated that less than half of those sought help for it because they feared it hurting their careers? So sad....
I know there had been more outreach and more being done to help our troops but I fear it just isn't enough. Did you know that in 2002, the year before the Iraq War began, there were 350 suicide attempts among our troops? Well, in 2007 that number jumped to 2,100.
I urge every family member to encourage their service member to seek help if they have signs of depression or PTSD. I urge every service member themselves to seek help if you know need it. While I will never understand the pride in serving, or the fear in seeking help because you don't want to ruin your career, I do understand and can sympathize with the family members of those who suffer from mental health problems. I have seen it with friends and see what they go through because they feel helpless when it comes to helping their servicemember who is suffering. It is rough on everyone involved.
Soldiers coming back from war are more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, PTSD, anger management, mood disorders... the list goes on... go to Military OneSource and use the resources to seek help, or at least find out where to start.
You can also seek out help through your local ACS (Army Community Service) and your post Chaplin. If you go to church, seek guidance from your Pastor.
While this started out as about our troops, I also know the spouses can develop mental health problems with all the stress and things that come about with deployments. You MUST take care of yourself, physically & mentally!! If you feel you need help as well, contact Military OneSource and have them set you up with counseling as a start. They will find someone in your area and it is confidential. I called them when we lived at Fort Hood and saw a wonderful therapist!! She helped me tremendously and it was a huge relief. Don't be afraid because you're not alone.
Here are two other previous blog posts of mine that may have helpful info for you too:
Family Support Systems
Risk Factors & Warning Signs for Families - Suicide Prevention
As always, thanks for reading... much love and many blessings =)

I'm very upset this morning as I write this. Do you know how many soldiers don't get help with their problems, when they KNOW they have them, because the doctors don't listen to them? Or the doctors are just assholes... or they fear ridicule, or reprimand... or they are always sent away with motrin and not taken seriously? Motrin doesn't cure everything!!!
Now, I know there are lots of soldiers who do get help, but even one who doesn't get help b/c they feel it is useless to keep trying is one too many being neglected.
In 2004 the Army's first study of mental health of troops who fought in Iraq showed that 1 in 8 reported symptoms of PTSD. Did you know it also stated that less than half of those sought help for it because they feared it hurting their careers? So sad....
I know there had been more outreach and more being done to help our troops but I fear it just isn't enough. Did you know that in 2002, the year before the Iraq War began, there were 350 suicide attempts among our troops? Well, in 2007 that number jumped to 2,100.
I urge every family member to encourage their service member to seek help if they have signs of depression or PTSD. I urge every service member themselves to seek help if you know need it. While I will never understand the pride in serving, or the fear in seeking help because you don't want to ruin your career, I do understand and can sympathize with the family members of those who suffer from mental health problems. I have seen it with friends and see what they go through because they feel helpless when it comes to helping their servicemember who is suffering. It is rough on everyone involved.
Soldiers coming back from war are more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, PTSD, anger management, mood disorders... the list goes on... go to Military OneSource and use the resources to seek help, or at least find out where to start.
You can also seek out help through your local ACS (Army Community Service) and your post Chaplin. If you go to church, seek guidance from your Pastor.
While this started out as about our troops, I also know the spouses can develop mental health problems with all the stress and things that come about with deployments. You MUST take care of yourself, physically & mentally!! If you feel you need help as well, contact Military OneSource and have them set you up with counseling as a start. They will find someone in your area and it is confidential. I called them when we lived at Fort Hood and saw a wonderful therapist!! She helped me tremendously and it was a huge relief. Don't be afraid because you're not alone.
Here are two other previous blog posts of mine that may have helpful info for you too:
Family Support Systems
Risk Factors & Warning Signs for Families - Suicide Prevention
As always, thanks for reading... much love and many blessings =)
Monday, December 13, 2010
Risk Factors & Warning signs for Families - Suicide prevention
*While at the ACS building today I picked up some pamphlets and such to share with everyone. (for those of you who are new and not up on the acronyms, ACS = Army Community Service... you can brush up on acronyms here -->Army Acronyms)
From the "Suicide Prevention Training Tip Card" -
Risk factors for adults (including soldiers) and children:
*previous suicide attempts
*close family member who has committed suicide
*past psychiatric hospitalization
*recent losses (death of family member, divorce/separation, break up with gf/bf)
*poor social skills (difficulty interacting with others, problems starting a conversation and making friends)
*drug or alcohol use (drugs decrease impulse control making impulsive suicide more likely, some try to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol)
*violence in the home or social environment
*handguns in the home
*work-related problems
*serious medical problems
*poor school performance
Warning signs that an adult/soldier needs help:
*noticeable changes in eating and sleeping habits
*talking or hinting about suicide
*obsession with death (in music, poetry, artwork, etc)
*irritability
*alcohol and or drug use or abuse
*isolation
*giving away possessions/suddenly making a will
*feeling sad, depressed, hopeless
*finalizing personal affairs
*coworkers, family & friends are concerned
Warning signs that a child/adolescent needs help:
*noticeable change in eating and sleeping habits
*unexplained, or unusually severe, violent or rebellious behavior
*running away
*unusual neglect in appearance
*drastic mood swings
*hostile towards other children
*withdraws from peers
*gives away possessions
*feeling sad or depressed
*obsession with death (music, poetry, art, etc)
*physical complaints that are not real
*talks about death
*your child's teacher or other trusted adult tells you that your child is acting different and may need help
Your Resources:
Army Center for Health Promotion and Preventive Medicine (CHPPM)
Community Mental Health Clinic (CMHC)
Church/Chaplains
Family Readiness Groups (FRG) -for more on FRG, read here -->What is the FRG?
Military OneSource - 1-800-342-9647
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 1-800-273-TALK
National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center
School Counselors
Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors
Some books you may find Helpful:
*please take note if you can't see the links to the books, you have view my blog to see it (if this is coming through the news feed)
My blog link ---> Soldier's Angel
From the "Suicide Prevention Training Tip Card" -
Risk factors for adults (including soldiers) and children:
*previous suicide attempts
*close family member who has committed suicide
*past psychiatric hospitalization
*recent losses (death of family member, divorce/separation, break up with gf/bf)
*poor social skills (difficulty interacting with others, problems starting a conversation and making friends)
*drug or alcohol use (drugs decrease impulse control making impulsive suicide more likely, some try to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol)
*violence in the home or social environment
*handguns in the home
*work-related problems
*serious medical problems
*poor school performance
Warning signs that an adult/soldier needs help:
*noticeable changes in eating and sleeping habits
*talking or hinting about suicide
*obsession with death (in music, poetry, artwork, etc)
*irritability
*alcohol and or drug use or abuse
*isolation
*giving away possessions/suddenly making a will
*feeling sad, depressed, hopeless
*finalizing personal affairs
*coworkers, family & friends are concerned
Warning signs that a child/adolescent needs help:
*noticeable change in eating and sleeping habits
*unexplained, or unusually severe, violent or rebellious behavior
*running away
*unusual neglect in appearance
*drastic mood swings
*hostile towards other children
*withdraws from peers
*gives away possessions
*feeling sad or depressed
*obsession with death (music, poetry, art, etc)
*physical complaints that are not real
*talks about death
*your child's teacher or other trusted adult tells you that your child is acting different and may need help
Your Resources:
Army Center for Health Promotion and Preventive Medicine (CHPPM)
Community Mental Health Clinic (CMHC)
Church/Chaplains
Family Readiness Groups (FRG) -for more on FRG, read here -->What is the FRG?
Military OneSource - 1-800-342-9647
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 1-800-273-TALK
National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center
School Counselors
Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors
Some books you may find Helpful:
*please take note if you can't see the links to the books, you have view my blog to see it (if this is coming through the news feed)
My blog link ---> Soldier's Angel
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