Christmas Spirit... Bahumbug....

Yup, that's me right now... Bahumbug... Usually Christmas time is one of my fave times of year, but this year, not so much. I just don't have it in my heart like I usually do...maybe I'm just wore out.

Now, you might be wondering what the "christmas spirit" is to me...I suppose I can share my feelings. =)

To me, Christmas is a time of giving and caring...putting a smile on someone's face... giving doesn't always mean something material either!! It's about being grateful for what you have and passing on your "wealth". I think my feelings on this also coincide with what Christmas is for most Christians... the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. I'm mean if you think about it, He gave...He cared... and nothing He did was materialistic. He brings about a sense of hope and love as I think the "christmas spirit" does also, if you let it.

Apparently, I'm not letting it. I have had a rough year in many ways and I won't turn this into a "pity party" but I'm just not feeling it!! Maybe I need to listen to more christmas music....watch more jolly christmas movies...decorate more...give more of myself to others.... most importantly, get back to Jesus.... but I just don't wanna.... I'm spent...

I don't feel like smiling in everyone's face, but I will, because that is the right thing to do right now....

I don't feel like being all happy go jolly for the kids, but I will, because it's not their fault I am have a shitty, poor-me kind of year...

So, I will drive around in my Rudolph car smiling and being fake, all the while feeling like Scrooge on the inside... Maybe next christmas will be different.

I can't be perfect all the time ;) *sarcasm intended*