My blog post yesterday about the patches on my bag twisted more than a few panties/briefs. BTW, shout out to "Overly Sensitive Military Wives" for boosting my blog views yesterday to over 2,000 on ONE post alone. Appreciate that =)
Anyway... in comments regarding that blog post, I saw a lot of people saying things that were "making fun" of wives who sell Scentsy. I have seen it before about Pure Romance, 31, Passion Parties & other Direct Sales companies.
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
How To Make Women Happy - The Point System
Simple Duties:
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty (0)
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
I'm now a Believer!! - *language warning*
People talk all the time how they come across these dramatic women in groups who take things to real life and such... I have not had that pleasure... until today.
There was a girl talking about some chick who wouldn't stop texting her and wouldn't leave her alone. She was basically talkin' crap and just wouldn't stop.
There was a girl talking about some chick who wouldn't stop texting her and wouldn't leave her alone. She was basically talkin' crap and just wouldn't stop.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Weird things I do -
We all have things we do that are odd or funny to others... well, last night I was telling the hubs about one thing I do and he looked at me like I was weird!
Is it weird that...
-when I play Angry Birds and the little thing you have to destroy is on the verge of tipping over, that I lean to the side a little hoping it will help make it tip completely?
-when I watch The Twilight Saga New Moon that I keep thinking maybe Bella will changer her mind and give it up to Jacob?
-when I call my grandma of fifty million years that I also say "Hey grandma, it's Jamie" ... like she doesn't know my voice by now?
Those are just a few... lol.. what are some weird things you do?
Is it weird that...
-when I play Angry Birds and the little thing you have to destroy is on the verge of tipping over, that I lean to the side a little hoping it will help make it tip completely?
-when I watch The Twilight Saga New Moon that I keep thinking maybe Bella will changer her mind and give it up to Jacob?
-when I call my grandma of fifty million years that I also say "Hey grandma, it's Jamie" ... like she doesn't know my voice by now?
Those are just a few... lol.. what are some weird things you do?
Friday, July 29, 2011
My husband, the jokester!
This morning I went to WalMart to pick up some school supplies for the kids...which isn't cheap by the way lol... and I come out to my car to find something I thought was a bit creepy. First I notice on my seat is a business card that had some writing on it but I couldn't make out what it said b/c the pen looked like it was out of ink.. I go to put the stuff in the trunk and my daughter brings me a piece of paper that she said was "under the rain keep away things" - haha gotta love her...
Anyway, I was all excited b/c I thought someone saw my Scentsy stickers on my window and was leaving a note for me to contact them. Nope, my excitement flew out the window when I saw it wasn't what I hoped. It was actually "someone" telling me they thought I was sexy and left their number! So now I was totally creeped out b/c I thought about the business card IN my car and now this note!
I get in the car and call my husband to tell him about it and he starts laughing at me and asks me was the guys name "Sean" and was it written in brown marker? Yeah!! Then it dawned on me that HE did it!! He called me while I was in WalMart so he knew where I was... he stalked me down just to mess with me! I hope he knows this is war...lol
Anyway, I was all excited b/c I thought someone saw my Scentsy stickers on my window and was leaving a note for me to contact them. Nope, my excitement flew out the window when I saw it wasn't what I hoped. It was actually "someone" telling me they thought I was sexy and left their number! So now I was totally creeped out b/c I thought about the business card IN my car and now this note!
I get in the car and call my husband to tell him about it and he starts laughing at me and asks me was the guys name "Sean" and was it written in brown marker? Yeah!! Then it dawned on me that HE did it!! He called me while I was in WalMart so he knew where I was... he stalked me down just to mess with me! I hope he knows this is war...lol
Monday, July 11, 2011
Diary of a house husband - lol
Found this around the web =)
Diary of a house husband:
This week I am at home & playing house husband. My wife left a list of things I need to do. This is soooooo easy I thought I would share it with you.
1). Make the beds......
What a waste of effort, we're only going to sleep in them again tonight. Forget that.
Scratch one.
2). Pick up dog poop in yard.......
It snowed last night, I don't see any dog poop, kids do you see any dog poop?
Scratch two.
3). Drop your shirts off at the cleaners.......
Duhh I'm on vacation I don't need them.
Scratch three.
This is easy, what's the fuss.
Think I'll go on the computer for a while.
4). Clean out Tupperware cabinet.......
Uhhhh that's a hard one. GOT IT, velcro on the door will keep them closed.
Scratch four.
5). Mop kitchen floor.....
The dog licked up that sugar spill from breakfast, floor looks clean to me.
Scratch five.
Good doggie go play in the yard. She just loves rolling in the snow.
6). Find something fun for the kids to do.....
That tin foil in the microwave thing was kinda fun.
Scratch six.
This is way too easy I'll have lots of time for the computer
7). Vacuum the carpets......
That's a hard one.......
Hey kids wanna have some more FUN.
Scratch seven.
8). Feed kids lunch.....
Hey kids, don't you have a friends house to go too?
YESSSS Scratch eight !!
9). Clean out hallway closet......
Hmmmm another hard one. That's it, take enough out of the closet to close the door. Outta sight outta mind. Hmmmm this other stuff can go under a bed.
Scratch nine.
Boy O Boy am I good, lunch time. Pour some chili into the cracker bag & eat. Taaa daaa no lunch dishs
10). Do laundry.....
no problem I can do that while I'm on the computer
Scratch ten.
11). Fold laundry.....
dang Ya know I never noticed how many pink things this family actually wears. Gonna have to ask da little lady why she buys me pale pink underwear?? Check this out a cashmere barbie sweater, cool.
Scratch eleven.
12) Put the laundry away....
Baskets in bedrooms work for me.
Scratch twelve.
This is way too easy. Wonder why women always complain about house work???
13). Water the Christmas tree...
Oop's!... good thing the carpet is absorbent.
Scratch thirteen.
14). Grocery shopping, Buy toilet paper.......
These old newspapers will do, besides, that's recycling & that's good for the earth....
Scratch fourteen.
15). Pick up the kids ......
Yeah right; we're talking about my kids here. Parents will normally pay to drop them back off.
They'll be back. Scratch fifteen.
Wonder who's on the computer. I have plenty of time.
16). Make dinner.....
Easy, "Hello do you deliver ? uhhh double that, Ya know we will need more dinner tomorrow".
Scratch sixteen.
17). Clean out the dog house......
duhh the dog sleeps in our bed, Like that needs to be done.
Scratch seventeen.
WOW all done. Man this is sooooo easy. Still time for some more puter and a nap..... Women must complain about house work just to make us guys think they're working.
Wish I was a chick!
**IF ONLY IT WERE THAT SIMPLE!!!
Diary of a house husband:
This week I am at home & playing house husband. My wife left a list of things I need to do. This is soooooo easy I thought I would share it with you.
1). Make the beds......
What a waste of effort, we're only going to sleep in them again tonight. Forget that.
Scratch one.
2). Pick up dog poop in yard.......
It snowed last night, I don't see any dog poop, kids do you see any dog poop?
Scratch two.
3). Drop your shirts off at the cleaners.......
Duhh I'm on vacation I don't need them.
Scratch three.
This is easy, what's the fuss.
Think I'll go on the computer for a while.
4). Clean out Tupperware cabinet.......
Uhhhh that's a hard one. GOT IT, velcro on the door will keep them closed.
Scratch four.
5). Mop kitchen floor.....
The dog licked up that sugar spill from breakfast, floor looks clean to me.
Scratch five.
Good doggie go play in the yard. She just loves rolling in the snow.
6). Find something fun for the kids to do.....
That tin foil in the microwave thing was kinda fun.
Scratch six.
This is way too easy I'll have lots of time for the computer
7). Vacuum the carpets......
That's a hard one.......
Hey kids wanna have some more FUN.
Scratch seven.
8). Feed kids lunch.....
Hey kids, don't you have a friends house to go too?
YESSSS Scratch eight !!
9). Clean out hallway closet......
Hmmmm another hard one. That's it, take enough out of the closet to close the door. Outta sight outta mind. Hmmmm this other stuff can go under a bed.
Scratch nine.
Boy O Boy am I good, lunch time. Pour some chili into the cracker bag & eat. Taaa daaa no lunch dishs
10). Do laundry.....
no problem I can do that while I'm on the computer
Scratch ten.
11). Fold laundry.....
dang Ya know I never noticed how many pink things this family actually wears. Gonna have to ask da little lady why she buys me pale pink underwear?? Check this out a cashmere barbie sweater, cool.
Scratch eleven.
12) Put the laundry away....
Baskets in bedrooms work for me.
Scratch twelve.
This is way too easy. Wonder why women always complain about house work???
13). Water the Christmas tree...
Oop's!... good thing the carpet is absorbent.
Scratch thirteen.
14). Grocery shopping, Buy toilet paper.......
These old newspapers will do, besides, that's recycling & that's good for the earth....
Scratch fourteen.
15). Pick up the kids ......
Yeah right; we're talking about my kids here. Parents will normally pay to drop them back off.
They'll be back. Scratch fifteen.
Wonder who's on the computer. I have plenty of time.
16). Make dinner.....
Easy, "Hello do you deliver ? uhhh double that, Ya know we will need more dinner tomorrow".
Scratch sixteen.
17). Clean out the dog house......
duhh the dog sleeps in our bed, Like that needs to be done.
Scratch seventeen.
WOW all done. Man this is sooooo easy. Still time for some more puter and a nap..... Women must complain about house work just to make us guys think they're working.
Wish I was a chick!
**IF ONLY IT WERE THAT SIMPLE!!!
Monday, March 28, 2011
30 Days of me - Day 20, Day 21, Day 22, Day 23
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future.
Well, I'm already married.... but I would love to be with LL Cool J in the future...near future... like now. =)
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy.
Coffee...
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else.
I'm really not so different from everyone else, but there are some things about me that I don't find often in others... one, I'm extremely patient and forgiving... two, my eyes change color.
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot.
Well, I'm already married.... but I would love to be with LL Cool J in the future...near future... like now. =)
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy.
Coffee...
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else.
I'm really not so different from everyone else, but there are some things about me that I don't find often in others... one, I'm extremely patient and forgiving... two, my eyes change color.
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Dog/Cat Diary... LOL
*Note: a girl who I will just call "BF" posted this in a group I'm in. I thought it was funny and want to share. (I only used her initials b/c I don't know if she would like me actually using her name.) I don't know where she got it, so don't shoot me for not giving proper credit where due. =)
******************************
DOG DIARY
8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity!
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. The sick bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies'. I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He obviously has issues.
******************************
DOG DIARY
8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity!
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. The sick bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies'. I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He obviously has issues.
Friday, December 3, 2010
The 10 Commandments...
...Of Permanent Fat Removal
1. Thou shalt honor and believe in thyself.
2. Thou shalt move they booty - move it and move it some more!
3. Thou shalt never go hungry again. Eat small meals and healthy snacks throughout the day.
4. Thou shalt stock thy fridge with the right stuff - the fruits and veggies of the earth.
5. Thou shalt honestly write it down. If you bite it, you must write it.
6. Thou shalt weigh and measure - thyself and thy food.
7. Thou shalt drink enough holy water to frighten noah and map out all the restrooms in thy village.
8. Thou shalt not deny thyself a treat or two now and then.
9. Thou shalt not eat out of misery, boredom, anxiety...but should thou indulge, thou shalt forgive thyself.
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's plate.
From Our Lady of Weight Loss, advertised below =)
1. Thou shalt honor and believe in thyself.
2. Thou shalt move they booty - move it and move it some more!
3. Thou shalt never go hungry again. Eat small meals and healthy snacks throughout the day.
4. Thou shalt stock thy fridge with the right stuff - the fruits and veggies of the earth.
5. Thou shalt honestly write it down. If you bite it, you must write it.
6. Thou shalt weigh and measure - thyself and thy food.
7. Thou shalt drink enough holy water to frighten noah and map out all the restrooms in thy village.
8. Thou shalt not deny thyself a treat or two now and then.
9. Thou shalt not eat out of misery, boredom, anxiety...but should thou indulge, thou shalt forgive thyself.
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's plate.
From Our Lady of Weight Loss, advertised below =)
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
I'm Thankful....
Another year my husband has missed ThanksGiving with us, but I will have some awesome friends over instead!
Here are some things I'm thankful for:
*I have a date for when my hubs comes home!! Yippy!
*My son Richard is amazingly smart and helpful.
*My son DeeJay has an amazing voice when he sings.
*My daughter Alexis is only 5 and she apologizes right away when she does something wrong or sees that she has upset me by misbehaving.
*My thyroid seems to be under control right now.
*Both of our cars are working...AT THE SAME TIME! lol
Okay, enough with the thankful stuff...how about some funny pics?
For real though ....
Here are some things I'm thankful for:
*I have a date for when my hubs comes home!! Yippy!
*My son Richard is amazingly smart and helpful.
*My son DeeJay has an amazing voice when he sings.
*My daughter Alexis is only 5 and she apologizes right away when she does something wrong or sees that she has upset me by misbehaving.
*My thyroid seems to be under control right now.
*Both of our cars are working...AT THE SAME TIME! lol
Okay, enough with the thankful stuff...how about some funny pics?
For real though ....
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
DO NOT ENTER!!
At the request of several ladies, ((Aimee, Rissa, Marla, Renee, Shera, Sairah...yes, I called you out!!)), I will give my views on "buttsecks" lol. Now, I really don't understand WHY anyone likes this!! Hello people!!! Unless your ass has some kind of built in numbing agent, buttsecks is a NO-NO!!
So, let me go google the dangers of buttsecks for the pervos who wanted me to talk about it. LOL....going to google now....
"Anal sex, bum sex, sex by the back door, the Greek or Italian way, fudge-packing and sodomy - these are some of the terms used to describe anal sex. It involves anal penetration of the anus (or rectum) by an erect penis or even a vibrator, dildo or "butt plug."
First - anatomy. At the lower end of the bowel, there are two distinct circular bands of muscles, sphincters, one is located about an 1 ½" above the other. These clamp down tight to prevent the passage of feces or gas. The mucous membrane lining of the rectum is not as heavy as the lining of the vagina, so it can tear quite easily and it does not heal as quickly as the vagina. Because feces, loaded with bacteria, are passing by, any tear is vulnerable to infection.
The vigorous thrusting that may occur during anal intercourse can tear the mucous membrane. This can develop into an anal abscess that can become infected - more about that in a moment. Also, if your partner has any of the sexually transmitted infections (STI's), then you could get infected through the tear. So we are talking about gonorrhea (treatable); venereal warts (treatable if external, difficult if up in the rectum); syphilis (treatable); herpes (treatment, no cure); yeast infection (treatable); and HIV and AIDS (treatment but no cure.) You do not want any of these STI's."
Okay, that ^^^ is one thing I found when I googled. So, can someone explain why men want to stick it where poo and bacteria come out? What is the attraction? Do they really want doo-doo in their genitals?!! And while this may be pleasurable to them, do they really think it is pleasurable to us?!! THINK AGAIN GUYS!!!!
Who can resist it after reading all of that? Rips and tears, warts on our ass... yeah, sounds like something I would love to try............NOT!
So, to answer your question ladies... NO, I DO NOT LIKE IT...lol
lol, get it? "butt" as in cigarette... I know, it's late, time for bed lol.
Anal Sex ~ my source
So, let me go google the dangers of buttsecks for the pervos who wanted me to talk about it. LOL....going to google now....
"Anal sex, bum sex, sex by the back door, the Greek or Italian way, fudge-packing and sodomy - these are some of the terms used to describe anal sex. It involves anal penetration of the anus (or rectum) by an erect penis or even a vibrator, dildo or "butt plug."
First - anatomy. At the lower end of the bowel, there are two distinct circular bands of muscles, sphincters, one is located about an 1 ½" above the other. These clamp down tight to prevent the passage of feces or gas. The mucous membrane lining of the rectum is not as heavy as the lining of the vagina, so it can tear quite easily and it does not heal as quickly as the vagina. Because feces, loaded with bacteria, are passing by, any tear is vulnerable to infection.
The vigorous thrusting that may occur during anal intercourse can tear the mucous membrane. This can develop into an anal abscess that can become infected - more about that in a moment. Also, if your partner has any of the sexually transmitted infections (STI's), then you could get infected through the tear. So we are talking about gonorrhea (treatable); venereal warts (treatable if external, difficult if up in the rectum); syphilis (treatable); herpes (treatment, no cure); yeast infection (treatable); and HIV and AIDS (treatment but no cure.) You do not want any of these STI's."
Okay, that ^^^ is one thing I found when I googled. So, can someone explain why men want to stick it where poo and bacteria come out? What is the attraction? Do they really want doo-doo in their genitals?!! And while this may be pleasurable to them, do they really think it is pleasurable to us?!! THINK AGAIN GUYS!!!!
Who can resist it after reading all of that? Rips and tears, warts on our ass... yeah, sounds like something I would love to try............NOT!
So, to answer your question ladies... NO, I DO NOT LIKE IT...lol
lol, get it? "butt" as in cigarette... I know, it's late, time for bed lol.
Anal Sex ~ my source
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Sarcastic Humore We Can Relate To
My friends and I were having one of many sarcastic moments lol
Just some of our "off" humor LOL...
Original Post:
Aimee ~ I just wanted to share that my husband is TDY and I haven't heard from him in 2 whole days! I'm assuming that he is either with a stripper or getting some female (soldier or civilian) pregnant.
But I'm not complaining, honestly, because I wouldn't leave anyways. I'm too dependent on the BAH and health care!
Goodnight ladies!
Comments:
Marissa ~ what? I thought TDY was the same as deployment :P
Judy ~ Its probably the female soldier because you know...they're all whores, right?
Aimee ~ i know judy! no better than strippers.
Laura ~ What? You mean yours doesn't text you all day & isn't home by 5pm????
Kimberly ~ LMAO I LOVE YOU LADIES THIS SO JUST MADE MY NIGHT :)
Aimee ~ NO LAURA, he doesnt. i think that means that something is going on. what would you guys do?
btw this is 8th deployment in 9 months! because anytime they arent at home, its a non combat deployment!
Ashlie ~ Please tell me this was a joke cuz temporarily my husband and I live separate and 2 days without talking sheesh that's nothing ... great benefits But the soldiers worth more
Laura ~ Do you get separation pay when he ges into the field for a week??
Ashlie ~ How far is his tdy station from u? Did he let u know he wouldn't b contacting u?
Aimee ~ can i really get that? i should look into that, laura! thanks for the suggestion, who do you think i should contact? COC, IG, or JAG?
Stephani ~ This sounds exactly like my situation! I hope they aren't together....thank goodness for dadt.
Judy ~ Shut up Aimee, my husband was deployed to NTC for a WHOLE MONTH and they wouldn't even pay to move me home.
Aimee ~ holy shit, i never even thought that he could be taking DICK! one more thing to worry about. i think im going to die, ladies. for real!
Ashlie ~ Wow ya I thought u could in a tdy deployment
Laura ~ IG - Always go to them first. You get the best results that way. All the new wives/moms/grandmas/aunts are doing it.
Aimee ~ judy, my husband was deployed to NTC for 15 mutha fucking months! got TARANTULA team!
Stephani ~ Aimee at least you wouldn't have to worry about him knocking someone up....then the baby won't steal any of your shopping money.
Judy ~ Laura, you get even BETTER results when you walk into IG wearing your husband's PT shirt. It shows them you are part of the Army team.
Aimee ~ guess what ladies, all of your prayers worked! i just got a text saying that he had been in field for the last few days and he would call me in a few minutes! man the power of prayer is AMAZING!
Aimee ~ HELL NA BITCH!! AINT NO ONE GONNA TOUCH MY SHOPPING MONEY! and fuck those ex wives that had to audacity to actually ask for child support before my ass came along!
bunch of gold digging whores!
Eliane ~ Ok, who of you is paying for my new laptop!?!
Totally just spit water on it laughing!! Thank you very much ladies!!
Judy ~ Eliane, I hear you can apply for an AER loan and get a new one.
Eliane ~ But do I have to pay the money back or do I just keep it?
Laura ~ No, a loan means you do not have to pay it back. I learned that by watching court TV shows.
I would never wear his nasty PT shirt, but his dress blues are freshly dry cleaned. I look great in blue.
Aimee ~ YOU technically dont have to pay shit back. HE does! take a huge loan, and then leave his ass.
Eliane ~ Ok, well I have wanted the new Nissan 370Z... The free AER loan will work for that, right!?!
Plus I thought as a good army wife you had to take out a huge loan and then leave your soldier ;-)
Aimee ~ actually, the good wife stays through the deployment, all while secretly stashing away the deployment pay and hoping to win the SGLI lottery. and THEN leaves....once he is back, with all of his money.
Kimberly ~ Well Aimee its ok since ur boyfriend is over right? Well one of em... aren't we all whores like our hubby's? Its in the army wife code book..
Aimee Stroup Yadda Yadda~ i have HUNDREDS of boyfriends....because ALL army guys like big, fat, baby making, worn out women!
i am like their kryptonite! i make them all leave their skinny, over educated wives!
Jamie ~ i can't believe you have the nerve to complain!! mine just left for basic this morning...i'm devastated!
btw, my son hit his head and is bleeding all over and saying he sees spots... what should i do?
Aimee ~ i would wrap his head in a plastic bag...all of the way down to his neck..secure it with duck tape. if the bleeding doesnt stop in 10 minutes, wait longer.
Marissa ~ Im sorry but Jamie's was the best. Altho the line about how you are kryptonite was pretty fucking good!
Jamie ~ My husband had the nerve to miss dinner! His 1st SGT is gonna hear it from me!
Just some of our "off" humor LOL...
Original Post:
Aimee ~ I just wanted to share that my husband is TDY and I haven't heard from him in 2 whole days! I'm assuming that he is either with a stripper or getting some female (soldier or civilian) pregnant.
But I'm not complaining, honestly, because I wouldn't leave anyways. I'm too dependent on the BAH and health care!
Goodnight ladies!
Comments:
Marissa ~ what? I thought TDY was the same as deployment :P
Judy ~ Its probably the female soldier because you know...they're all whores, right?
Aimee ~ i know judy! no better than strippers.
Laura ~ What? You mean yours doesn't text you all day & isn't home by 5pm????
Kimberly ~ LMAO I LOVE YOU LADIES THIS SO JUST MADE MY NIGHT :)
Aimee ~ NO LAURA, he doesnt. i think that means that something is going on. what would you guys do?
btw this is 8th deployment in 9 months! because anytime they arent at home, its a non combat deployment!
Ashlie ~ Please tell me this was a joke cuz temporarily my husband and I live separate and 2 days without talking sheesh that's nothing ... great benefits But the soldiers worth more
Laura ~ Do you get separation pay when he ges into the field for a week??
Ashlie ~ How far is his tdy station from u? Did he let u know he wouldn't b contacting u?
Aimee ~ can i really get that? i should look into that, laura! thanks for the suggestion, who do you think i should contact? COC, IG, or JAG?
Stephani ~ This sounds exactly like my situation! I hope they aren't together....thank goodness for dadt.
Judy ~ Shut up Aimee, my husband was deployed to NTC for a WHOLE MONTH and they wouldn't even pay to move me home.
Aimee ~ holy shit, i never even thought that he could be taking DICK! one more thing to worry about. i think im going to die, ladies. for real!
Ashlie ~ Wow ya I thought u could in a tdy deployment
Laura ~ IG - Always go to them first. You get the best results that way. All the new wives/moms/grandmas/aunts are doing it.
Aimee ~ judy, my husband was deployed to NTC for 15 mutha fucking months! got TARANTULA team!
Stephani ~ Aimee at least you wouldn't have to worry about him knocking someone up....then the baby won't steal any of your shopping money.
Judy ~ Laura, you get even BETTER results when you walk into IG wearing your husband's PT shirt. It shows them you are part of the Army team.
Aimee ~ guess what ladies, all of your prayers worked! i just got a text saying that he had been in field for the last few days and he would call me in a few minutes! man the power of prayer is AMAZING!
Aimee ~ HELL NA BITCH!! AINT NO ONE GONNA TOUCH MY SHOPPING MONEY! and fuck those ex wives that had to audacity to actually ask for child support before my ass came along!
bunch of gold digging whores!
Eliane ~ Ok, who of you is paying for my new laptop!?!
Totally just spit water on it laughing!! Thank you very much ladies!!
Judy ~ Eliane, I hear you can apply for an AER loan and get a new one.
Eliane ~ But do I have to pay the money back or do I just keep it?
Laura ~ No, a loan means you do not have to pay it back. I learned that by watching court TV shows.
I would never wear his nasty PT shirt, but his dress blues are freshly dry cleaned. I look great in blue.
Aimee ~ YOU technically dont have to pay shit back. HE does! take a huge loan, and then leave his ass.
Eliane ~ Ok, well I have wanted the new Nissan 370Z... The free AER loan will work for that, right!?!
Plus I thought as a good army wife you had to take out a huge loan and then leave your soldier ;-)
Aimee ~ actually, the good wife stays through the deployment, all while secretly stashing away the deployment pay and hoping to win the SGLI lottery. and THEN leaves....once he is back, with all of his money.
Kimberly ~ Well Aimee its ok since ur boyfriend is over right? Well one of em... aren't we all whores like our hubby's? Its in the army wife code book..
Aimee Stroup Yadda Yadda~ i have HUNDREDS of boyfriends....because ALL army guys like big, fat, baby making, worn out women!
i am like their kryptonite! i make them all leave their skinny, over educated wives!
Jamie ~ i can't believe you have the nerve to complain!! mine just left for basic this morning...i'm devastated!
btw, my son hit his head and is bleeding all over and saying he sees spots... what should i do?
Aimee ~ i would wrap his head in a plastic bag...all of the way down to his neck..secure it with duck tape. if the bleeding doesnt stop in 10 minutes, wait longer.
Marissa ~ Im sorry but Jamie's was the best. Altho the line about how you are kryptonite was pretty fucking good!
Jamie ~ My husband had the nerve to miss dinner! His 1st SGT is gonna hear it from me!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)