Me, Me, Me... More about Me!

I did a "Get to know the Creator of the page" post on *AWDIWH* the other day and now I'll answer the questions...

Where were you stationed and when? How long have you been an army wife? What's your hubs' MOS?

The first place we went was Fort Riley, KS. Then we moved onto Fort Carson, CO, then to Fort Hood, TX and we're currently at Fort Stewart, GA.  

My husband joined the army in 2002...so I've been living this lifestyle with him for 10 1/2yrs now. There have been times when I've questioned whether or not I could handle it, but I always come out stronger through each trial. 

I can never remember the technical term for my husband's MOS. His main "job" is being a tank mechanic. Right now though, he is an SGL out at WLC. (Small group leader, aka Instructor, at Warrior Leadership Course...he trains NCOs - Non-commissioned Officers.)

Poet's Day - 8/21/2012 A few of my Faves & Personal Ones

Today is "Poet's Day". In honor of "Poet's Day" I'm going to share a few of my fave poems and a few personal ones. I first got into poetry during my 7th grade Literature and Writing class. I began writing poems as a release for my emotions when I felt I had no one to talk to. My Aunt Sharon bought me a book to keep them in and I still have it, battered and worn....

Questions for Me From some *AWDIWH* fans!

The other day I asked the fans on my page if there was anything they wanted to know from me personally... so here we go!

Melanie Greeke - "Can you talk about the phrase "sanctity of marriage" and how it has absolutely no meaning?? I'm tired of hearing it."

Let's dig a little here... "Sanctity of Marriage" or "Holy Matrimony" to me is more for those who are "religious". This is the idea of sacredness in marriage. "Sanctity" has the meaning of "holiness"..for those who do not believe in God, "sanctity in marriage" most likely doesn't exist.

However, this doesn't mean that they don't take their vows seriously or respect their marriage.

Now, even though I do believe in God, I'm not a fan of "sanctity of marriage". There are several reasons why... one, the divorce rate in America is ridiculous and clearly shows that "sanctity of marriage" isn't what it use to be. Those who claim they believe in the "sanctity of marriage" don't respect it. They disrespect themselves and their spouse which throws the "sanctity" right out the window.

Two, I have seen many "christians" who believe in the "sanctity of marriage" yet they don't follow Christ. If you followed Christ and believed in the "sanctity of marriage" your life would show it. If that light doesn't shine through you, don't preach it to others.

Three, I've been cheated on. Sanctity for me no longer exists. It will never come back.

So basically, I think "sanctity of marriage" really doesn't matter. What matters is that when you make your vows, you take them seriously. You respect the boundaries of your marriage, you respect your spouse. You don't give up at the first sign of trouble. Unless you are being physically, mentally & emotionally abused, you do everything in your power to make it work. Too many people treat a marriage like it's a game.

If you believe in the "sanctity of marriage" and it works for you, good, I'm truly happy for you. If you don't believe in it, that's alright with me too!! But no one should be judging the other on what works for them.

Ellen Hunt-Crane - "So... Here I was, just drinking my morning coffee. My cat sits by me.. normal thing right? Nope. Not this time. The bastard farted."

LOL I had to comment on this...there was a bit of a "discussion" going on in the thread about the "sanctity of marriage" and Ellen posted this as a distraction I'm assuming. It made me chuckle...and I'd like to add that I hated it when my dog would fart... man it was the nastiest thing EVER!! lol

Kara Cunningham - "What was the motivation behind creating this page, and what were your expectations at first?"

I guess my motivation behind this page was a group on MySpace. I joined a group of hilarious wives on MySpace during one of my husbands deployments.. they helped me in more ways then they could ever know. I still talk to alot of them and one of them is actually my co-admin on the page. MySpace died and we migrated to Facebook. We had no group on Facebook so I made the page.

I had tried doing other "support" pages first though..but I couldn't stand all the hearts and lovey dovey crap...if you said what you felt, instead of what they wanted to hear, you were mean, negative and dramatic.. So, I wanted a spot where I could use my experience and knowledge to help others w/o having to sugar coat things.

I wanted a place where myself and others could seek advice, vent, discuss/debate, bitch and whatever else w/o feeling that we had to tip-toe around sensitive women who only want to hear "everything will be alright sweetie " instead of the truth.

I'm not sure what my expectations were when I made the page. I wanted to help others and keep myself occupied lol...it has certainly become more than I ever thought it would. While I have my days where I would love it if I could smack someone through my laptop screen, I keep going on because of the impact I know I have made on others.

Christine Nola Gibson - "Do you think that there is one incident, event, experience that defines you moreso than other one in your life? Why? Which one?"

I don't think there is one specific incident, event, or experience that defines me more than another. I have had so many that I have been through and done that I take something from them all. I do think that there are specific experiences that have given me more strength than other ones... ones that have given me more hope... more faith... more courage... more determination... more open-mindedness... everything together defines me.

Ellen Hunt-Crane - "Was there a time in your marriage that you felt it wasn't going to make it? I ask because it seems like a lot of people, including myself, have felt that at one time or another."

In all honesty, there have been more a few times where I felt it wasn't going to make it. I'm struggling with that right now. I don't think that is important though.

What I think is important is how you handle those feelings. Are you going to let them get the best of you? Just give up? Or are you going to fight and give it all you got until you have no more to give? Are you going to keep doing the same old thing, or are you going to take the time to figure what is wrong, why you feel it might not make it, and then do something to fix it? I choose to give it my all until I have nothing left to give.

Angie Phillips - "What is your deployment guilty pleasures, and routine?"

Each deployment I had different guilty pleasures & routines.

During his first one, I was really big in going to church. My routine stemmed from my church family and the "sisters" I gained through them. I had started going to church on Tuesday night for Bible Study, on Wednesday morning for Ladies Bible Study..Thursday night for service... On Saturdays we went "soul winning", where we invited people out to church & then service on Saturday night... On Sunday mornings I went to service & ended up teaching Sunday school & went to service Sunday night. It seems like a lot, but really I felt it wasn't enough at the time. I loved the people there, the energy, the togetherness we shared. My guilty pleasures during this deployment was reading lol... I know it doesn't sound exciting, but I use to read all the time until I had kids. Two toddlers took up a lot of time. So I had made the time again to read. Reading relaxed me and helped me keep my mind off the deployment.

During his second deployment, we were already living somewhere else. I didn't have my same church family but I went to the church we had in that area. I met some great ladies there too but my time at church wasn't as much as it was before. By then we had the boys and Alexis. My daily routine was taking the boys to school, coming home and taking care of the house and playing with Alexis. The boys would come home and we would do extra learning activities along with their homework. I didn't really have any guilty pleasures that time...I just busied myself with the kids.

During his third deployment, we were living somewhere else, again! I didn't go to church at all there. I did make a few amazing friends... if it weren't for Heather L. and Amber V. I would have fallen apart. I had so many trials during that time. I spent my days with Heather drinking coffee and talking..shopping and storm chasing a time or two... One of my guilty pleasures was taking the back road to the Walmart from West Fort Hood... I loved to sit in the middle of the road while the cows crossed and just watch them.. it reminded me of back home in Jersey... Another guilty pleasure was my and Amber's "Dexter nights"! We would run up to the little spot at the shoppette and grab lots of Spam-musabi's and stuff our faces while lounging on the couch watching Dexter. It was heaven...lol

During his fourth deployment, we were yet again, somewhere else. My routine here was a bit different. Most of his deployment, my routine consisted of school work and gym time and doctors appointments. I was losing weight so my guilty pleasure was new clothes and I rewarded myself each week with my fave drink from Starbucks.

Tabitha-James Sutton - "How does your hubby feel about the page?"

Darrell "rags" on me sometimes about it, but I think he really likes it. Well, not so much likes the page itself, but likes that I like it b/c I get to help others. I think he is proud, but doesn't like to admit it. A few times when I have met some new soldiers, my husband will bring up the page, "You know, if your wife needs help or anything, she should check out my wife's page..." One thing he doesn't like is me getting too personal when it involves him. He is a private person. There are times when he helps me with advice and times when he laughs at some of the stuff. No, he doesn't post on there and no he isn't even a fan lol

Ben Bierman - "How do u inbox ? Like u know so its posted as a ? On here ? How many people run this page ? Just one ?"

There is a contact tab and my email is in the info/about section. I am the only one who posts the inboxes, so only I see them. But I do have another admin who posts occasionally and helps me keep an eye on the page when I go out of town and stuff. I am the main one who posts though. When my other admin, Rissa, posts she signs her name. I never sign my name.

Christine Nola Gibson - "How do you feel about the use of the term Military "brats"? Do you think it puts a bad spin on children who were raised in the military?"

I really didn't have a problem with that term before, but now I don't care for it much. Here's why... I had to file a complaint with housing against someone whose children were just out of control. As it turns out, I was not the first to do so. I don't know if the lady was suppose to or not, but she actually showed me one of the complaints b/c of something we were specifically talking about. In this report, the woman I was filing a complaint against had told them "they're military brats, that's what they do", referring to her kids. UH NO. My kids have been "military brats" for 10yrs. My boys are 12 & 11 and my daughter is 6. My kids are NOTHING like hers. My kids are not disrespectful to adults...my kids don't run around with knives threatening other kids...my kids don't destroy property.. my kids don't go around calling people "faggots" or telling black girls "take your black ass back to the ghetto"... So, no, I do not like the term "military brats" now lol... I refuse to have my kids lumped into what she thinks is acceptable for kids who she says are "military brats".


If there are other things you want to ask, post a comment here on my blog post and I'll do another post like this =) Thanks for reading!

Blast from the past - LOL

Breast Reduction - Part 2

The call I've been waiting for came this morning... Tricare approved my surgery! So many emotions are coming and going right now about this. At first I felt sick from the nervousness and realization that I'm actually on my way to doing this. Don't get me wrong, I'm still absolutely sure I want to do this, it's just a big decision.

I know my breasts don't define me but they are a part of me and it makes me a little nervous on how I feel about my body afterwards. I think being a little nervous is normal, at least I hope it is. However, I'm so looking forward to no more back pain, shoulder pain, migraines, indents from my bra straps... (I am fully aware that not all my "symptoms" will just go away completely, but it will be so much better!)

I'm excited to get this done, heal and get back to the gym. My chest was a major factor into why I stopped going. It was painful on the treadmill working with "the girls"... I never seemed to have enough support and I hated when I would get rashes. I also wouldn't want to do anything else after the gym because my back would be killing me. Pain is not fun.

So, my pre-op appointment will be at the end of this month. At this appointment I'll be given the prescription for my medications, guidelines on the days leading up to my surgery and the guidelines for the day of my surgery. I'm sure they'll give me directions on post-op care too.

My actual surgery is set for the very beginning of September. I'm extremely glad to be getting it done for 2 reasons. One, I just want to do it and get it over with lol. Two, my husband will be here. You know in the Army they are always gone for training and schooling and such, so September is the perfect time because he will be gone for a bit in October.

More to come =)

*If you haven't read Part 1, you can read it now -
Breast Reduction - Part 1

I like to add pics sometimes to my posts, as my readers know...I thought this was funny:

30 Days of me - Days 28, 29 & 30

I started this in Feb 2011 and it has taken me forever to finish! LOL... Here we are, finally the last 3 days!

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Last year-

Now-(recent)

Hmmm... how have I changed since then?... I would say that I have changed in the sense that I'm now concentrating on me... back then, it was all about others. Now, I'm still concerned about others but I have come to see that I need to take my own advice and put me first! Everything else will fall into place.


Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned?

I've learned that love, no matter how deep and true, is not enough to keep some people together... even those who seem to have the best chance of making it.

Day 30- Your favorite song.

Right now, my fave song is:



Here are my previous "30 Days of Me"
30 Days of me - Day 1
30 Days of me - Day 2
30 Days of me - Day 3
30 Days of me - Day 4
30 Days of me - Day 5
30 Days of me - Day 6
30 Days of me - Day 7
30 Days of me - Day 8
30 Days of me - Day 9
30 Days of me - Day 10
30 Days of me - Day 11
30 Days of me - Day 12
30 Days of me - Day 13
30 Days of me - Day 14, Day 15, Day 16
30 Days of me - Day 17, Day 18, Day 19
30 Days of me - Day 20, Day 21, Day 22, Day 23
30 Days of me - Day 24, Day 25, Day 26, Day 27

The Hurt is Always There - (3 poems)

I have noticed that sometimes people think that those who have abortions think nothing of it, like they don't care about the choice they are making. If you're one of the people who think like that, you're wrong. I have been there and nothing at all was easy about deciding to do it or actually going through with it. Especially as a teen when you are not sure about anything, let alone a major life decision.

Over ten years later I still think of it and wonder what could have been... but unlike some, I have learned to forgive myself. At the time I hated myself for it, I shaved my head because I wanted to be as ugly outside as I felt inside. I was torn and in pain emotionally and felt guilty as hell.

Here are three poems I wrote about it as a teen. They were written a year after the fact because until then I wasn't ready to face what I had done....

(1st poem)
Take a knife and
gut me out
destroy the soul
that swims about
Blood flows freely
as the soul goes
I wonder if it feels
I wonder if it knows
I ended a life
someone should take mine
maybe the wound
will heal in time

(2nd poem)
I am depressed,
alone and unsure are my thoughts inside.
I wish I had a special place
where I could run and hide.
I cry a lot
to let my depression flow,
I despise myself
for reasons only I know.
Alone with my feelings,
I drown in my thoughts.
I regret what I've done
because of the misery it's brought.

(3rd poem)
Bored and hopeless
I feel like I'm trapped.
Confused and clueless
my mind might snap.
Depressed and sad,
my life's a mess.
Hateful and mad
my fears I'll confess.
Frightened and scared
of myself and my life.
Tortured and scarred,
I want a knife.


You may be wondering if I tried to commit suicide... yes, I did. Thankfully I didn't succeed. So, here is a personal moment from my past... a deeper look into me. This is exactly why I don't judge those who have had abortions. I have been there, through a mental and emotional hell. If anyone reading this has been there and you still feel like I did at the time, learn to forgive yourself so you can live. I did. =)

More happy pills please?

I'm one big ball of anxiety wrapped in "AHHHHHHHHHHHH".... these next few days can't go by fast enough for me. I feel like I am going absolutely crazy.
When he gets home we are going to New Jersey for christmas and I think that is what has me worked up.... I'm not looking forward to it at all. Don't get me wrong, I want to see my family and friends, but it's gonna be way too much for me for other reasons, but for my husband and my kids, I will suck it up and go. Just pray for me =)



Yesterday I went with my awesome buddies, Sharon and Sara, to stand in the cold and wait for Ludacris. Thank God we got there early because apparently he didn't get to see everyone and people were mad. So, I got a cd signed by him and my pic with him.





Now, looking at the picture, I see I need to stop fooling around and get back to losing weight... I was happy with losing 30 pounds.... AT FIRST... but now I need to get working on my next thirty. So, it's gonna be back to counting calories and exercising again. Gotta get my sexii on =) But first, I gotta get in gear and get ready for homecoming!! Yay!

Lil Ole Me =)

I asked the ladies on my fan page to ask me some questions and I would tell a little bit about myself. Here are the questions (and the answers to them) that I have gotten so far.

What are your dreams and goals? (from Genia G.)

Let's see, they have changed several times over the years. My dreams and goals in the past have been various.... I have always wanted to be a mommy. I wanted to be a writer at one time, I have a book in which I have lots of poems I wrote as a teenager. Maybe I'll share some. When I was in high school in 10th grade, I decided I wanted to be a Child Psychologist because I wanted to help kids, but than that changed in 11th grade. I didn't think I'd be able to handle doing that because I hate to see kids hurting and I thought I would be too sensitive...yeah, me too sensitive. I really am a big baby at heart. My next "dream" after that had been to be a CPA, certified public accountant. I was always great in math so I thought that would be perfect for me. I am now finishing up my degree for my Associates in Accounting, so that I stuck with.

I can say that my main goal in life now that I am a mother and wife, is to be the best mother and wife I can be for my family. Caring, supportive, loving...blah blah...all that good stuff.

How did you and your hubby meet? What were your dating years like? (from Shantel J.)

This is funny!! Let me give a little background first and move into the story.

In July 1996 I had shaved my head. I was 16 and being my crazy self. In August that year, we moved to a predominantly "black" town. I point this out because when I found out where we moving, I told my boyfriend at that time and he had me scared. He told me that the kids in school were going to think I was a skinhead and racist. He was just messing with me, but I took him seriously. (My BF was a black guy)

So, during the month before school started I kept to myself and stayed inside reading books and would go out at night jogging around. I didn't know anyone on the first day of school. I was so nervous, the new kid, short-short hair, and I was the minority! LOL... I had no idea how this was going to go. At my previous school I was with the popular kids, here, I would be the dreaded "new kid".

When I stepped on the bus that first day of school was when I first saw Darrell. He was in the back of the bus, but I hadn't really noticed him until he called out to me. It wasn't anything like, "Hey baby, how you doin'?", or "Come sit with us.". No, not Darrell, the popular boy who was always cracking jokes and playing sports. I go to sit in my sit and I hear, "Yo dude!" (Remember I had shaved my head). So, of course I knew he was speaking to me and I turned around. The next thing that came out of his mouth turned me all shades of red. "Oh shit, he's got tits!!" Exact words, I will never forget!! LOL

I wanted to just get to my home room and start my day without ever seeing that boy again! Too bad my luck has never been the good kind. I walked into home room and in the back of the class was the boy from the bus. I wanted to turn and walk out but instead I took my seat in the front, away from others. I took out a notebook and decided to write a letter to one of my friends back home about my horrendous morning already and it was only 8am.

The boy from the bus comes up to me and asked me what I was doing. I told him I was writing a letter. He asked me was I writing to him and I told him no. We exchanged names and he told me to write him a letter. So, I did. I asked him about the school and about the town. We became inseparable.

Kirsten M. says: Your life story would be interesting.

Hmmmm...my life story. Short and to the point. My mother was a teen mother and my father ditched her a few months after I was born. When I was 2 my mother met a guy who she ended up staying with for 14yrs (way too long in my opinion). They had my brother when I was 12.

Growing up I was a pretty good kid, never really got into trouble and didn't give my mom a hard time. I did not get along with her BF of 14yrs though, but that is a book in itself.

I was always a good student and one of the popular kids, surrounded by tons of friends. I tended to date the athletic, handsome guys...

I never really got into sports or things in school because I always had to take care of my brother while my mother was working. Remember I said didn't get along with my brothers dad? This is part of the reason. LOL

So, I met my husband and we dated on and off for a few years before getting married.

Click here to see the beginning of our "Army" life.

How did your hubby propose? (from Genia G.)

Most people have some romantic story about their husband proposing, not me. I do remember that after only 2 weeks of knowing each other, my husband had said to me, "Jamie I love you and you're the one I'm going to marry." I thought he was crazy, we barely knew each other. So, six years later, he decides to join the army. After this decision, he came home one night and proposed. He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. My response was, "Are you joking?" LOL. Now I know that sounds a little harsh, but he is the joking type. You have to know him as I did. I honestly thought he was kidding. Turns out he wasn't though. Of course I said yes and we got married 2 weeks later, about 2 months before he left for BCT.

If you could make a new army base, what would you pull from other bases to make it the best? Where would you put it? (Gricelia L.)

Since I haven't been every where, I will take bits and parts from the places I have been. Fort Riley, Fort Carson, Fort Hood, and Fort Stewart....First, I would probably put this "post" of mine somewhere along the East Coast. Not sure where, but there because I am an East Coaster. From Fort Riley I would take the stone buildings from the "old post" section. Those buildings are beautiful. They can keep the heat though. From Fort Carson, I would take a few things. Number one would be the mountains... I loved waking up every morning and seeing them, beautiful and powerful, very moving and inspirational. I would also take Fort Carson's hospital. I always had excellent care there. I loved Fort Carson's thrift shop on post so I would have to take that too. Oh, and this little place in the mini mall that made homemade pie, they did real down south cooking, they would be snatched up too. From Fort Hood, I would definitely take their security. They have had the best I've seen so far. I would also take their FREE pools, and their PX and their Commissary. The Fort Hood area can keep their stank ass traffic and people though. LOL. I can't say what I would bring from Fort Stewart. I have only been here for about a year so I guess I would choose the housing. Well, the housing I live in...LOL... My "post" would be the post where those who are going career and want to be permanently put somewhere would go. Still deployable, but a permanent duty station.

What got you into doing the web pages you do & helping others? (Apryl H.)

When I first moved to Fort Riley, I didn't have the slightest idea of what being an army wife would be like. We had no military near us growing up and the only stories I had ever heard were from my grandpa about war when he was in as a young adult. I was clueless. My husband had only been at his first duty station for a few months before they sent him off to Iraq. Click here to read about our first deployment. So, I basically had to learn everything on my own with the help of other wives I met at church. I was so grateful to have them and I just want to pass it on. I have seen so many new wives purposely kept in the dark when it comes to things because their husbands don't want them to know things. Then there are the wives who were like me, thrown into a shit-storm not knowing anything and doing it all alone. This is why I want to help. I may not be the most supportive person at times, but I will make sure I help get women the correct information. If you ever meet me in person, and I am physically able to help you with something, I will do whatever I can to help. My friends know this. Not only do I like helping others, but this helps me too. It helps me pass time while he gone and it is also a learning experience for me. I learn new things every day from the women on my pages. My husband is going career and the best way I can think to support him and the army community is to help fellow wives/gf/fiances.

What are your favorite things to do with the kiddos when your hubby is away? What do y'all like to do together as a family when he comes home? (Erin M.)

We go out to eat, go to the pool, the library, the movies... we have movie nights at home. We do school functions together. We do these things when he is home too, but add in bowling lol. One thing we don't do while he is gone is "big trips". When they were younger we went back to NJ to visit, but we never stay long. We don't do "vacations" without daddy. This year, before he left, we went as a family to Disney and had a blast!

Do you sparkle in the sunlight? (Jennifer M.)

I only sparkle in the sunlight when I put on make-up that has "sparkles" in it. I would think it would be awesome to sparkle all the time. You know I love attention and that would be a definite attention getter. LOL

Do you mainstream? (Jennifer M.)

I have to admit I had to google "what is mainstreaming" LOL. I am not sure exactly how to answer this. You got me here. So I will go off of the first definition I found, which is.... "Mainstream is, generally, the common current of thought of the majority."... I have never been one to do things or go with things just because a majority of people do it. For example, if the majority here on post walked around in booty shorts because it was the cool thing to do, I would the one in sweats. =)

What are your feelings on faeries copulating with vampires? (Jennifer M.)

This seriously made me choke on my water! Now, let's take this serious for a second and just assume that faeries and vampires are real. Wouldn't this be kind of impossible? I mean faeries are generally small and delicate, right? Vampires are strong and much bigger. However, if they can find a way to work it, by all means go for it. Who am I to say they can't get busy? If they conceived during this, that might be a problem... flying little bloodsuckers? Oh wait, we already have mosquitos.

So, if I get more questions, I will do a second part to this. =)