Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Questions for Me From some *AWDIWH* fans!

The other day I asked the fans on my page if there was anything they wanted to know from me personally... so here we go!

Melanie Greeke - "Can you talk about the phrase "sanctity of marriage" and how it has absolutely no meaning?? I'm tired of hearing it."

Let's dig a little here... "Sanctity of Marriage" or "Holy Matrimony" to me is more for those who are "religious". This is the idea of sacredness in marriage. "Sanctity" has the meaning of "holiness"..for those who do not believe in God, "sanctity in marriage" most likely doesn't exist.

However, this doesn't mean that they don't take their vows seriously or respect their marriage.

Now, even though I do believe in God, I'm not a fan of "sanctity of marriage". There are several reasons why... one, the divorce rate in America is ridiculous and clearly shows that "sanctity of marriage" isn't what it use to be. Those who claim they believe in the "sanctity of marriage" don't respect it. They disrespect themselves and their spouse which throws the "sanctity" right out the window.

Two, I have seen many "christians" who believe in the "sanctity of marriage" yet they don't follow Christ. If you followed Christ and believed in the "sanctity of marriage" your life would show it. If that light doesn't shine through you, don't preach it to others.

Three, I've been cheated on. Sanctity for me no longer exists. It will never come back.

So basically, I think "sanctity of marriage" really doesn't matter. What matters is that when you make your vows, you take them seriously. You respect the boundaries of your marriage, you respect your spouse. You don't give up at the first sign of trouble. Unless you are being physically, mentally & emotionally abused, you do everything in your power to make it work. Too many people treat a marriage like it's a game.

If you believe in the "sanctity of marriage" and it works for you, good, I'm truly happy for you. If you don't believe in it, that's alright with me too!! But no one should be judging the other on what works for them.


Ellen Hunt-Crane - "So... Here I was, just drinking my morning coffee. My cat sits by me.. normal thing right? Nope. Not this time. The bastard farted."

LOL I had to comment on this...there was a bit of a "discussion" going on in the thread about the "sanctity of marriage" and Ellen posted this as a distraction I'm assuming. It made me chuckle...and I'd like to add that I hated it when my dog would fart... man it was the nastiest thing EVER!! lol

Kara Cunningham - "What was the motivation behind creating this page, and what were your expectations at first?"

I guess my motivation behind this page was a group on MySpace. I joined a group of hilarious wives on MySpace during one of my husbands deployments.. they helped me in more ways then they could ever know. I still talk to alot of them and one of them is actually my co-admin on the page. MySpace died and we migrated to Facebook. We had no group on Facebook so I made the page.

I had tried doing other "support" pages first though..but I couldn't stand all the hearts and lovey dovey crap...if you said what you felt, instead of what they wanted to hear, you were mean, negative and dramatic.. So, I wanted a spot where I could use my experience and knowledge to help others w/o having to sugar coat things.

I wanted a place where myself and others could seek advice, vent, discuss/debate, bitch and whatever else w/o feeling that we had to tip-toe around sensitive women who only want to hear "everything will be alright sweetie " instead of the truth.

I'm not sure what my expectations were when I made the page. I wanted to help others and keep myself occupied lol...it has certainly become more than I ever thought it would. While I have my days where I would love it if I could smack someone through my laptop screen, I keep going on because of the impact I know I have made on others.


Christine Nola Gibson - "Do you think that there is one incident, event, experience that defines you moreso than other one in your life? Why? Which one?"


I don't think there is one specific incident, event, or experience that defines me more than another. I have had so many that I have been through and done that I take something from them all. I do think that there are specific experiences that have given me more strength than other ones... ones that have given me more hope... more faith... more courage... more determination... more open-mindedness... everything together defines me.

Ellen Hunt-Crane - "Was there a time in your marriage that you felt it wasn't going to make it? I ask because it seems like a lot of people, including myself, have felt that at one time or another."

In all honesty, there have been more a few times where I felt it wasn't going to make it. I'm struggling with that right now. I don't think that is important though.

What I think is important is how you handle those feelings. Are you going to let them get the best of you? Just give up? Or are you going to fight and give it all you got until you have no more to give? Are you going to keep doing the same old thing, or are you going to take the time to figure what is wrong, why you feel it might not make it, and then do something to fix it? I choose to give it my all until I have nothing left to give.


Angie Phillips - "What is your deployment guilty pleasures, and routine?"

Each deployment I had different guilty pleasures & routines.

During his first one, I was really big in going to church. My routine stemmed from my church family and the "sisters" I gained through them. I had started going to church on Tuesday night for Bible Study, on Wednesday morning for Ladies Bible Study..Thursday night for service... On Saturdays we went "soul winning", where we invited people out to church & then service on Saturday night... On Sunday mornings I went to service & ended up teaching Sunday school & went to service Sunday night. It seems like a lot, but really I felt it wasn't enough at the time. I loved the people there, the energy, the togetherness we shared. My guilty pleasures during this deployment was reading lol... I know it doesn't sound exciting, but I use to read all the time until I had kids. Two toddlers took up a lot of time. So I had made the time again to read. Reading relaxed me and helped me keep my mind off the deployment.

During his second deployment, we were already living somewhere else. I didn't have my same church family but I went to the church we had in that area. I met some great ladies there too but my time at church wasn't as much as it was before. By then we had the boys and Alexis. My daily routine was taking the boys to school, coming home and taking care of the house and playing with Alexis. The boys would come home and we would do extra learning activities along with their homework. I didn't really have any guilty pleasures that time...I just busied myself with the kids.

During his third deployment, we were living somewhere else, again! I didn't go to church at all there. I did make a few amazing friends... if it weren't for Heather L. and Amber V. I would have fallen apart. I had so many trials during that time. I spent my days with Heather drinking coffee and talking..shopping and storm chasing a time or two... One of my guilty pleasures was taking the back road to the Walmart from West Fort Hood... I loved to sit in the middle of the road while the cows crossed and just watch them.. it reminded me of back home in Jersey... Another guilty pleasure was my and Amber's "Dexter nights"! We would run up to the little spot at the shoppette and grab lots of Spam-musabi's and stuff our faces while lounging on the couch watching Dexter. It was heaven...lol

During his fourth deployment, we were yet again, somewhere else. My routine here was a bit different. Most of his deployment, my routine consisted of school work and gym time and doctors appointments. I was losing weight so my guilty pleasure was new clothes and I rewarded myself each week with my fave drink from Starbucks.


Tabitha-James Sutton - "How does your hubby feel about the page?"

Darrell "rags" on me sometimes about it, but I think he really likes it. Well, not so much likes the page itself, but likes that I like it b/c I get to help others. I think he is proud, but doesn't like to admit it. A few times when I have met some new soldiers, my husband will bring up the page, "You know, if your wife needs help or anything, she should check out my wife's page..." One thing he doesn't like is me getting too personal when it involves him. He is a private person. There are times when he helps me with advice and times when he laughs at some of the stuff. No, he doesn't post on there and no he isn't even a fan lol


Ben Bierman - "How do u inbox ? Like u know so its posted as a ? On here ? How many people run this page ? Just one ?"

There is a contact tab and my email is in the info/about section. I am the only one who posts the inboxes, so only I see them. But I do have another admin who posts occasionally and helps me keep an eye on the page when I go out of town and stuff. I am the main one who posts though. When my other admin, Rissa, posts she signs her name. I never sign my name.

Christine Nola Gibson - "How do you feel about the use of the term Military "brats"? Do you think it puts a bad spin on children who were raised in the military?"

I really didn't have a problem with that term before, but now I don't care for it much. Here's why... I had to file a complaint with housing against someone whose children were just out of control. As it turns out, I was not the first to do so. I don't know if the lady was suppose to or not, but she actually showed me one of the complaints b/c of something we were specifically talking about. In this report, the woman I was filing a complaint against had told them "they're military brats, that's what they do", referring to her kids. UH NO. My kids have been "military brats" for 10yrs. My boys are 12 & 11 and my daughter is 6. My kids are NOTHING like hers. My kids are not disrespectful to adults...my kids don't run around with knives threatening other kids...my kids don't destroy property.. my kids don't go around calling people "faggots" or telling black girls "take your black ass back to the ghetto"... So, no, I do not like the term "military brats" now lol... I refuse to have my kids lumped into what she thinks is acceptable for kids who she says are "military brats".


If there are other things you want to ask, post a comment here on my blog post and I'll do another post like this =) Thanks for reading!

Blast from the past - LOL

1 comment:

  1. Great expectations

    Life is full of surprises, particularly if you are a newly - wed . Expressjodi you a glimpse into the future and tells how to be prepared to face married life

    Love is all about romance whereas marriage is a lot about responsibility. When two different individuals from different backgrounds live together, differences of opinion on things like spending habits, career, having and raising a baby, sharing household responsibilities etc, are bound to crop up, the key is to broaden your outlook and accept all the changes that marriage brings, and to remember that marriage is a momentous change for you and your spouse. And, fear not, over a period of time, you will find a way to make it work.

    Responsibility

    With marriage comes a whole lot of responsibility. "From the time you ger married, the decisions you make will not be yours alone, but your partner's as well. This is because your choices will impact both of you. But this doesn't mean that you're tied to a ball and chain. "It only means you have a companion with you for life. In fact, in your capacity as a spouse, you become your partner's caretaker, friend, confidante and even punching bag etc.

    Finances

    Arguments over money are bound to happen, so be prepared for it. And unless you establish some ground rules for dealing with financial issues, you will continue to have these arguments. Bear in mind that you are now a part of a unit, and no longer flying solo.

    In - laws or outlaws?

    if you thought that marriage is all about sharing your life with your significant other, think again, and this time, factor in your in - laws into the equation. When you're used to a particular lifestyle, moving in with your in - laws can be a rude shock. You will be required to make changes in your daily routine. Like waking up a little earlier to help around the house or rescheduling your plans on weekends or even modifying some of your eating habits. these might seem like an additional burden, particularly if you are a working woman. Remember to keep an open mind when it comes to handling your in - laws. They may be rigid in their ways, but there is always a way to work out a compromise.

    Sharing space

    Marriage involves sharing everything - whether it is sadness or glad tidings, chores or finance, which can be a difficult task. This is why marriage necessitates an equal contribution from both side. " Sharing is absolutely essential for a happy marriage,. Besides making it easier to run the show, it also brings you closer to your partner, and cement a bond in a way that only experience can.
    Differnces of opinion

    Shaadi brings two different individuals together, as well as two sets of arguments for everything. Remember that your husband is as new to the marriage and the relationship as you, and he is facing the same issue for the first time as well.Irrespective of the nature of the relationship, any two people are bound to have differences of opinion at some point of time, It is how you handle these differences that mtters. The best antidote for deviant interest lies in adapting to the situation. "Be carteful not to retaliate for the sake of it,"

    Planning for the future

    As a single independent working woman, you may be used to your lifestyle, going on holidays or splurging on the latest pair of Jimmy Choos. But married life is a journey and you need to plan carefully to get to your destination. "Planning is the key. Make sure you and your husband are on the same page as far as long - term goal are concerned," "Whether or not you plan to have a baby or deciding on investments for the future and are thing that you should discuss in advbance, if you want to avoid unpleasant surprises in you married life,"

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