Saturday, July 24, 2010

Lil Ole Me =)

I asked the ladies on my fan page to ask me some questions and I would tell a little bit about myself. Here are the questions (and the answers to them) that I have gotten so far.

What are your dreams and goals? (from Genia G.)

Let's see, they have changed several times over the years. My dreams and goals in the past have been various.... I have always wanted to be a mommy. I wanted to be a writer at one time, I have a book in which I have lots of poems I wrote as a teenager. Maybe I'll share some. When I was in high school in 10th grade, I decided I wanted to be a Child Psychologist because I wanted to help kids, but than that changed in 11th grade. I didn't think I'd be able to handle doing that because I hate to see kids hurting and I thought I would be too sensitive...yeah, me too sensitive. I really am a big baby at heart. My next "dream" after that had been to be a CPA, certified public accountant. I was always great in math so I thought that would be perfect for me. I am now finishing up my degree for my Associates in Accounting, so that I stuck with.

I can say that my main goal in life now that I am a mother and wife, is to be the best mother and wife I can be for my family. Caring, supportive, loving...blah blah...all that good stuff.

How did you and your hubby meet? What were your dating years like? (from Shantel J.)

This is funny!! Let me give a little background first and move into the story.

In July 1996 I had shaved my head. I was 16 and being my crazy self. In August that year, we moved to a predominantly "black" town. I point this out because when I found out where we moving, I told my boyfriend at that time and he had me scared. He told me that the kids in school were going to think I was a skinhead and racist. He was just messing with me, but I took him seriously. (My BF was a black guy)

So, during the month before school started I kept to myself and stayed inside reading books and would go out at night jogging around. I didn't know anyone on the first day of school. I was so nervous, the new kid, short-short hair, and I was the minority! LOL... I had no idea how this was going to go. At my previous school I was with the popular kids, here, I would be the dreaded "new kid".

When I stepped on the bus that first day of school was when I first saw Darrell. He was in the back of the bus, but I hadn't really noticed him until he called out to me. It wasn't anything like, "Hey baby, how you doin'?", or "Come sit with us.". No, not Darrell, the popular boy who was always cracking jokes and playing sports. I go to sit in my sit and I hear, "Yo dude!" (Remember I had shaved my head). So, of course I knew he was speaking to me and I turned around. The next thing that came out of his mouth turned me all shades of red. "Oh shit, he's got tits!!" Exact words, I will never forget!! LOL

I wanted to just get to my home room and start my day without ever seeing that boy again! Too bad my luck has never been the good kind. I walked into home room and in the back of the class was the boy from the bus. I wanted to turn and walk out but instead I took my seat in the front, away from others. I took out a notebook and decided to write a letter to one of my friends back home about my horrendous morning already and it was only 8am.

The boy from the bus comes up to me and asked me what I was doing. I told him I was writing a letter. He asked me was I writing to him and I told him no. We exchanged names and he told me to write him a letter. So, I did. I asked him about the school and about the town. We became inseparable.

Kirsten M. says: Your life story would be interesting. life story. Short and to the point. My mother was a teen mother and my father ditched her a few months after I was born. When I was 2 my mother met a guy who she ended up staying with for 14yrs (way too long in my opinion). They had my brother when I was 12.

Growing up I was a pretty good kid, never really got into trouble and didn't give my mom a hard time. I did not get along with her BF of 14yrs though, but that is a book in itself.

I was always a good student and one of the popular kids, surrounded by tons of friends. I tended to date the athletic, handsome guys...

I never really got into sports or things in school because I always had to take care of my brother while my mother was working. Remember I said didn't get along with my brothers dad? This is part of the reason. LOL

So, I met my husband and we dated on and off for a few years before getting married.

Click here to see the beginning of our "Army" life.

How did your hubby propose? (from Genia G.)

Most people have some romantic story about their husband proposing, not me. I do remember that after only 2 weeks of knowing each other, my husband had said to me, "Jamie I love you and you're the one I'm going to marry." I thought he was crazy, we barely knew each other. So, six years later, he decides to join the army. After this decision, he came home one night and proposed. He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. My response was, "Are you joking?" LOL. Now I know that sounds a little harsh, but he is the joking type. You have to know him as I did. I honestly thought he was kidding. Turns out he wasn't though. Of course I said yes and we got married 2 weeks later, about 2 months before he left for BCT.

If you could make a new army base, what would you pull from other bases to make it the best? Where would you put it? (Gricelia L.)

Since I haven't been every where, I will take bits and parts from the places I have been. Fort Riley, Fort Carson, Fort Hood, and Fort Stewart....First, I would probably put this "post" of mine somewhere along the East Coast. Not sure where, but there because I am an East Coaster. From Fort Riley I would take the stone buildings from the "old post" section. Those buildings are beautiful. They can keep the heat though. From Fort Carson, I would take a few things. Number one would be the mountains... I loved waking up every morning and seeing them, beautiful and powerful, very moving and inspirational. I would also take Fort Carson's hospital. I always had excellent care there. I loved Fort Carson's thrift shop on post so I would have to take that too. Oh, and this little place in the mini mall that made homemade pie, they did real down south cooking, they would be snatched up too. From Fort Hood, I would definitely take their security. They have had the best I've seen so far. I would also take their FREE pools, and their PX and their Commissary. The Fort Hood area can keep their stank ass traffic and people though. LOL. I can't say what I would bring from Fort Stewart. I have only been here for about a year so I guess I would choose the housing. Well, the housing I live in...LOL... My "post" would be the post where those who are going career and want to be permanently put somewhere would go. Still deployable, but a permanent duty station.

What got you into doing the web pages you do & helping others? (Apryl H.)

When I first moved to Fort Riley, I didn't have the slightest idea of what being an army wife would be like. We had no military near us growing up and the only stories I had ever heard were from my grandpa about war when he was in as a young adult. I was clueless. My husband had only been at his first duty station for a few months before they sent him off to Iraq. Click here to read about our first deployment. So, I basically had to learn everything on my own with the help of other wives I met at church. I was so grateful to have them and I just want to pass it on. I have seen so many new wives purposely kept in the dark when it comes to things because their husbands don't want them to know things. Then there are the wives who were like me, thrown into a shit-storm not knowing anything and doing it all alone. This is why I want to help. I may not be the most supportive person at times, but I will make sure I help get women the correct information. If you ever meet me in person, and I am physically able to help you with something, I will do whatever I can to help. My friends know this. Not only do I like helping others, but this helps me too. It helps me pass time while he gone and it is also a learning experience for me. I learn new things every day from the women on my pages. My husband is going career and the best way I can think to support him and the army community is to help fellow wives/gf/fiances.

What are your favorite things to do with the kiddos when your hubby is away? What do y'all like to do together as a family when he comes home? (Erin M.)

We go out to eat, go to the pool, the library, the movies... we have movie nights at home. We do school functions together. We do these things when he is home too, but add in bowling lol. One thing we don't do while he is gone is "big trips". When they were younger we went back to NJ to visit, but we never stay long. We don't do "vacations" without daddy. This year, before he left, we went as a family to Disney and had a blast!

Do you sparkle in the sunlight? (Jennifer M.)

I only sparkle in the sunlight when I put on make-up that has "sparkles" in it. I would think it would be awesome to sparkle all the time. You know I love attention and that would be a definite attention getter. LOL

Do you mainstream? (Jennifer M.)

I have to admit I had to google "what is mainstreaming" LOL. I am not sure exactly how to answer this. You got me here. So I will go off of the first definition I found, which is.... "Mainstream is, generally, the common current of thought of the majority."... I have never been one to do things or go with things just because a majority of people do it. For example, if the majority here on post walked around in booty shorts because it was the cool thing to do, I would the one in sweats. =)

What are your feelings on faeries copulating with vampires? (Jennifer M.)

This seriously made me choke on my water! Now, let's take this serious for a second and just assume that faeries and vampires are real. Wouldn't this be kind of impossible? I mean faeries are generally small and delicate, right? Vampires are strong and much bigger. However, if they can find a way to work it, by all means go for it. Who am I to say they can't get busy? If they conceived during this, that might be a problem... flying little bloodsuckers? Oh wait, we already have mosquitos.

So, if I get more questions, I will do a second part to this. =)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Operation Manipulate ~

Manipulate, control, restrain, hold back...however you want to put it. I have noticed that just about every wife I have talked on a personal basis has been a part of "Operation Manipulate" when their S/O deploys. (of course this applies to GF and fiances too)

You know how they do when they feel like they have lost all control over everything because they are gone? Let's start with some examples of "Operation Manipulate", shall we? Here we go. Have you ever heard (on a more obsessive level, not just in reg conversation)....

...where were you?
...who are you talking to?
...what are you doing? need to be on the computer when I get on (but then they complain that you are "always" on the computer) me when you go somewhere so I know what you're doing don't need to *insert what fits you here*, I can't do it because I'm over here

And some more extreme ones...

...if you keep going to visit people I will stop paying the car insurance so you can't drive.
...if you don't answer the phone every time I call I will have the phone shut off so you can't talk to anyone.

Or how about these...

...I am alone, you're not here for me (when in fact you are) don't send me boxes (when in fact you have sent 20)
...I can do this alone, I don't need you

The examples can keep coming. They spout all this crap, knowing it is going to make you upset. They try to guilt you into doing what they want you to do all because they are deployed. "But I'm over here...."

Playing on your emotions because they KNOW you care and want to do what you can to make the deployment easier and to put their minds at ease.

You wonder, where did this green-eyed monster come from? This wasn't the man I knew before he left. When they come home, they are nothing like that. For those who have gone through multiple deployments it becomes a cycle.

How do you know you've been hit by "Operation Manipulate"? You've been hit if you have ever had a moment where you take a step back and basically say, "WTF is his problem? What is he talking about?" You are completely dumbfounded at him.

How do we handle it? Well, some handle it in many different ways. Bitch at them, ignore them, appease them.... I can't say there is any one particular right way, but maybe a combo of all is good. *wink* LOL

You may be able to find some helpful information here...

That's about it for my little "rant". =)

Monday, July 19, 2010

Fraternization and the military...

AR 600-20

Army policy defines fraternization as a relationship between soldiers of different rank if the relationship appears to compromise authority, discipline and morale.

What's New:

The following relationships are prohibited:

Personal Relationships:
Officer-enlisted personal relationships include dating, shared living accommodations and intimate and sexual relationships

Gambling between officers and enlisted personnel. No exceptions

Recruiters and recruits and any relationship between permanent party soldiers and initial-entry trainees

Officer-Enlisted Business Relationships:
Lending money and long-term business partnerships

The Army continues to prohibit all unprofessional relationships which:

Compromise chain of command

Cause partiality or unfairness

Involve the improper use of rank for personal gain

Are exploitative or coercive in nature

Create an adverse impact on discipline, authority, morale or mission accomplishment

Relationships that appear to violate any of the above standards may also be prohibited

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Coming together, it's what we do...

Today was a horrible day. Something very tragic happened and while my heart was torn in two for those involved, the situation reminded me of something very important.

We, as army wives, and just women in general, don't always get along, or even know the people around us personally, however, in times of crisis we step up and give undying help and support to those in our community.

People, civilian and military, soldier or family member, can spout all the trash they want about stereotypes where army wives are concerned. Today, I saw some of those stereotypes SQUASHED!! The women on my block came together strong and in full force to help another in need. They make me proud and glad that I live in this area. I know that if that something were to ever happen here, I have women willing to drop everything at a second's notice and come running.

This is why I would rather live on post than off too. It's a tight nit community when it comes down to the most important things. Too many "civilian" communities have the "mind your own business" attitude and when a tragedy strikes a family, that's not where I want to be.

Monday, July 12, 2010

If life were easy...Where would all the adventures be?

We've all been there at some time or another. Whether it's every day life, deployments, kids, the car....the list goes on. That time when we feel like everything is going wrong.

How do we cope when we feel this way?

Some people through themselves "pity parties" and stay that way for a long time. Others have a small "pity party" for a day or two and then get in gear. Focus on the positives or figure a way to make the things that are going wrong, right.

As some of you may know, Google is my friend. I love Google. This is what I've found and hopefully it will help some who read my blog.

When everything goes wrong:

1. Laugh. ~ Laugh hard and laugh often. Laugh like there's
no tomorrow. Laughter will put you in a much better frame of mind to deal with life's interruptions without losing your sanity. Read some funny jokes, watch a funny movie, spend time with a friend who keeps the laughs coming.

2. Breathe. ~ If laughter isn't possible, and sometimes it just
isn't, then focus on your breathing. Breathe in and out, in and out as deeply as possible until your pulse stops racing or you let go of the throat that somehow found its way into your grasp.

3. Regroup. ~ When the walls are caving in around you, take five minutes and figure out what you can do to keep at least one thing moving forward.

4. Give thanks. ~ "What? Give thanks? Are you insane?" Grab a piece of paper and make a list of everything that you are thankful for - chances are, you have it better than millions of others.

5. Get out. ~ Get out of the house and out of the office. Whether you choose to go for a walk, have lunch with friends, go window shopping (leave credit cards at home) or browse the shelves at your local library, get out and enjoy yourself for a
bit. You'll return in a much refreshed frame of mind and ready to tackle whatever life throws your way.

Something I found to be true...

Murphy’s Law(“Whatever can go wrong will go wrong at the worst possible time.”) manifests itself in a multitude of ways in our lives. In fact, there are times when it seems that EVERYTHING is going wrong. How we react to those situations says a lot about our character.



Just because I'm not neurotic about it....

...doesn't mean I don't care!! Seriously, come on!!

Here's the deal:

Since April, I have lost over 30 pounds and I wanted a break. For the past 2 weeks I haven't been doing anything. Today is the day I was going to get back into it and work on my next 30 pound goal. I was a hundred pounds over weight and that seemed so overwhelming to me so I had decided to break it into smaller goals, because I can admit that I will give up easy if I feel too overwhelmed. All I wanted was a little break!! It may not work for everyone, but it is working for me. I feel ready to start on my next goal. I was even talking about it last night with my girlfriends that I'm ready to get back on track.

Well, my husband has a damn fit! All of sudden he assumes I'm not motivated or I don't care, or I don't take being overweight serious. I know he means well, but it still hurts. He is a fitness freak and has never had to deal with weight issues or health problems so everything I say sounds like an excuse to him. I know he loves he me, but I feel like sometimes nothing is ever good enough.

So, I hung up on him. Yes, he is deployed and I hung up on him. Crucify me now!! I even ignored his call when he called back. I just don't want to feel upset. Getting upset is not motivation. Feeling like nothing is good enough for him, is not motivating me to do shit because no matter what I do, something I do will be wrong. He's at the gym every day. I wish I could go every day. As a matter of fact, me and my friend Mistey were talking and I told her once the kids start school, I want to go with her to the gym. I can't ask my friends to watch my kids every day so I can to the gym. I just won't do it.

Now to go back and call my school for the third time today to get them on the ball with ordering my books for my classes that started today!! UGH! Is it Tuesday yet?

Friday, July 9, 2010

No, it doesn't get easier...

You know, I really thought deployments would get easier, but fact is, they don't. Not for me anyway. I mean, yeah, it is easier to cope with because I have gone through this several times, but it is HARD....

I think that after the first deployment, for us wives (if we hang tough and don't let it break us), we realize just how important and precious the time we have with our man is. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying others don't know this, but I think after going through certain things, you come to truly appreciate the precious time you have together.

We're certainly not getting any younger, lol, and these deployments are taking away from our time dammit!! Yes, when he joined the Army, especially because he joined after 9/11, we knew he would go to war. However, I didn't imagine we'd be doing 4 deployments! (I'm sure will tack on a few more by the end of his career.)

I give the utmost love, appreciation, and respect to those veteran Army Wives, who have been through it all, from day one of sending off their man to BCT all the way to retirement. We're only half-way there and I feel like I'm going to go bonkers sometimes, lol.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Can you "affair proof" your marriage?

I am reading a book, Forever in Love. It has devotional insights for developing love and intimacy in you marriage. I like to read these kind of books from time to time to help me think of ways to keep my marriage alive. In this book they talk about the "Ten Commandments for a Healthy Marriage".

Now, while I do believe some people just cheat or have affairs because that's just the kind of thing they are prone to do, I don't believe all people who have cheated set out with cheating in mind. (I'm sure I'll get some bitching for

So, with this in mind, and thinking that unpremeditated affairs are usually brought about by an unfulfilling marriage, I am going to share what the "Ten Commandments for a Healthy Marriage" are. =)

Commandment #1 ~ Protect your day off at all costs and spend it together, as a couple, and as a family. I really do agree with this commandment. Nothing is more important than spending quality time together. I think this leads into the next commandment....

Commandment #2 ~ Eat dinner together. My mother-in-law, very wise in many things, has always said that getting together and sitting down for at least one meal a day is essential!! It helps you connect and share ideas when you take this time to focus on conversations when the rest of your day may be hectic. I think it is also something that can be looked forward too because you KNOW you have this SCHEDULED time to sit, eat, and deal with issues or even have some relaxing conversations.

Commandment #3 ~ Go to bed together (when possible of course, you know our lifestyle) In the book I'm reading it says that nothing undermines intimacy faster than separate bedtimes. You know you get mad when you're ready for bed but he wants to finish up some more COD on the game system! LOL.... Bedtime is another time to "touch and share" with eachother. Without set times, you may lose contact with eachother in the "busyness" of life.

Commandment #4 ~
Don't hold a grudge. Hope for your marriage lies in being able to forgive and forget. I know this personally! It's not good at all to let the things of the past that have hurt you rob you of your happiness of today and the future.

Commandment #5 ~ Don't take separate vacations. Sharing experiences help you bond.

Commandment #6 ~ Never let anything rob your marriage of sexual joy! We use sex to express love and to give pleasure. Sometimes to release tension and stress. While true intimacy is more than sex, it is never less than that either.

Commandment #7 ~ Pray together. I know not everyone believes in God, but for those that do, you know prayer is important. Nothing is more intimate than your personal relationship with God.

Commandment #8 ~ Play together.
Playfulness and the ability to amuse your spouse are important. Inside jokes, cute nicknames, playful games.... we all need some fun! Nobody wants to feel like a "fuddy-duddy". LOL.

Commandment #9 ~ Pay attention to the little things because they mean a lot. Expensive gifts are nice and all, but what do we, as women, most of the time remember with that heart-melting feeling? The little things! A love note on your dresser when you get up in the morning, or a stuffed animal that says "hot stuff" sitting in the driver seat of your car, flowers for nothing other than to say "I appreciate you"... you get the point. This goes both ways though, we must do the little things too!

Commandment #10 ~ Pledge yourselves not only to physical faithfulness, but to emotional fidelity as well. You need to fulfill your emotional needs for your marriage, in your marriage. The needs you want out of your marriage don't come from friends, family or your career. It is easy to slip into emotional affairs!

Something I plan on doing, is talking these commandments over with my husband and seeing how we can integrate these more into our marriage. Maybe it would help if you, my reader, did the same. Only you know.

Apparently I'm in competition with other sites and marine wives? LOL

Really people? Come on... I am not in competition with any other site, blog, fan page, group.... I do what I do because it helps me pass time and I like to help others with information and to pass time as well.

What is with the Marine wives who were posting shameful comments thinking they are better? Seriously? I don't play the whole, "ohhhhh the army is better" so I don't know why anyone is trying to do it with me. I don't even know these idiots. Although I have an idea who is behind it.

So now, only those who follow my blog can comment and if it gets that bad, I will disable comments.

The 2010 Army Wives Do it With Hooah Gift Exchange

I'm going to try to answer some questions to make sure things are clear. =)

First, since I'm the organizer, I know who everyone got. If it turns out you can't get your person something, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!! That way I can make sure this person gets something. I don't want anyone who signed up to not get something. You will have to give me their address so I can make it happen.


Who can see my address? Only the person who has drawn your name can see your mailing address. I have made it so that your mailing address is private.

How do I know what to get the person I was drawn? I encourage everyone to make a "wish list"!! If your person doesn't have a "wish list", you can ask them questions anonymously. Things like, favorite color, books, scents, coffee/teas... you get the point.

When is the exchange over?
Everyone should receive their gifts no later than 8/17/2010. Since this is the first one we are doing I decided to give it about a month. I know summer time is used for vacations and then kids have school so you have obligations there too. I wanted to make sure there was enough time to get something together.

How much money should I spend? The limit is $25.00. That doesn't include your shipping costs.

**We did this last year with our group on myspace. Not as many women participated because the group was much smaller. I got some delicious coffee, bath and body stuff, candy. It was yummy. Loved it!!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Happy Birthday to my Oldest son!!

My oldest is 11 today! The time sure does fly by....Time for a labor and delivery story... =)

It was July 4, 1999 and we were watching fireworks from my grandma's porch. I felt something "funny" going on in my belly, but at the time I had no idea that my labor had started. I didn't think anything of it because he wasn't due for 2 more weeks. All that night and the next day I felt "funny".

My poor husband had to go into work on the 5th extra early because he was the opening manager. After working all day long, he then had to stay and close because the closing manager couldn't come in. He finally came home at like 2am after being at work since 4am. He was so tired and I still feel bad, lol.

He came home and got in bed. I kept tossing and turning and getting up to use the bathroom. He asked me was I alright and I believe I told him yes. Then, I got up to go to the bathroom again because I kept having this feeling like I needed to go, really bad. I came out of the bathroom about a half hour later and my mom came out of her room. She asked was I okay and I told her I thought I was having the baby. So we got out all my books and magazines and sat on the couch looking at the "signs" of labor. We decided to head to the ER. My mom had the privilege of telling Darrell "get your ass up we're having a baby". LOL. He had only been asleep for an hour!

Thank goodness the hospital was only around the corner because the car ride was horrible! Every little bump in the road was magnified by 100! Going over the railroad tracks was no party either.

They got me checked in and Darrell called his parents. His dad was so nervous and asked, "what do you wear to this kind of thing?". I was so happy when they got there. My mother-in-law stayed in with me and so did Darrell and my mom. My MIL helped keep everyone calm and stopped my husband for making a dash for the chinese place at 3:30am!

I wish I had been brave enough to get an epidural with my first one because what they gave me only made me feel high. I hated the way demoral made me feel. I was still in pain, but loopy. When DeeJay was born, it didn't even register with me that he wasn't breathing. He had the cord wrapped around his neck 3 times and I had no idea the severity of it because the demoral had me so wasted. Thankfully, he was okay.

So, now my baby is 11 and growing up so fast. Looks just like his daddy and tries to be like him too.

I was 8 months pregnant here with DeeJay at our senor prom ~

Here is DeeJay (on the left) on his first day of second grade at Fort Hood ~

Here is DeeJay, this year (on the right) ~

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy Birthday America!

Independence Day, commonly known as July 4th or the Fourth of July, commemorates the Continental Congress’ adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776. The document, primarily written by Thomas Jefferson, served as a formal announcement that the 13 American colonies were no longer part of the British Empire and would henceforth be free and independent states. July 4th (

4th of July Pictures, Images and Photos