Friday, December 31, 2010

New Year's Resolutions....why not?

Normally I don't do New Year's resolutions, goals, promises, whatever you call them, but I think I will this year. Why not share them? =)

Main goals for 2011:
1. Lose 60 pounds (the rest of my extra weight)
2. Get a job!!!
3. Finish my last 3 classes to get my degree in Accounting.

I don't really know what else to put as a goal. I've always been told that if I take care of myself first, every thing else will fall into place. So, this year, I'm taking care of me!! =)


Wednesday, December 29, 2010

❥New Jersey Adventures

Let's start with the drive here... insane!! I will never drive at night again, lol. The drivers were crazy, the ride was long and I was frozen to the bone every time I stopped to pump gas. One time my bones were literally shaking. I was ready for the nice GA weather again before I even hit Virginia. I stopped 2 times for 45 mins to rest my eyes, but I couldn't get any "real" rest cramped in the car at the rest area with lights shining in my face. Alexis however got tons of sleep. Lucky gal...

My in-laws threw a Christmas Eve party and that was a blast. Great food, great people, great visiting.... I got to see my brothers-in-law for the first time in years that night which was cool. On Christmas, after the kids opened their presents and we hung out a bit, we went to see my family. Oh how I missed them!! I hadn't realized how much I missed them until I actually saw them. I have really wanted to go by my mother's old place, but I'm afraid I'll break down since she is not with us anymore... maybe I'll still go, I have some time to decide.

The day after Christmas it snowed. Not just a little bit either. It snowed so bad I had to postpone my visit to one of my old friends house until the next day. The next day was crazy driving!! I don't know what I was thinking about, but I made it there. The highway was covered with snow most of the way...see?

Here's the hubby diggin' me out after he did his car....

Here's the highway I was driving on...boy was I nervous!!...

After a wonderful visit with my old friend, I went to see a new friend. Now, I have known Kliff for some years...and I only knew his fiance from online and wanted to meet her. So, I drove again in the crazy snow. It was worth it though because Kristi was hoot!! Even when her and Kliff attacked me, taped my mouth shut and held an Eagles jersey in front of me...all because I'm a Cowboys fan.


Today the hubs and did some shopping for me because we're going to a New Year's Eve party with his parents. I still have to go tomorrow and get shoes and a throw to put on over my clothes since it will be cold. Of course I'll post pictures after we take some!! So, that's an update on me and I'll write again soon... =)

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Here comes Santa Claus ♫

One of my fave childhood songs from Christmas is "Here comes Santa Claus", but the Chipmunk version:

(please note, if this is through the feed on "notes" on facebook, the video may not be there, you will have to actually go to my blog)

As I write this, my husband and my boys are on there way to NJ while I'm finishing up some last minute things here at home. My daughter and I will be on the road later tonight and I'm pretty excited now to see my family and friends from "home". However, I'm nervous at the same time because I have a 12 1/2 hour drive ahead of me. I always get nervous before big drives! I think that's why I'm sitting here writing instead of packing more stuff in the car, LOL. Procrastination is a fault of mine.

Three days before Christmas and here in GA it is 69* out. Tomorrow I will be freezing while today I can go outside without my coat on...I will never get rid of this cough. I always seem to get sick around Christmas, I think it's the stress of the holiday, I hear that happens.

I guess I should stop rambling and get my ass in gear so me and the Pookster can get on the road.

Have a great Holiday! =)


Monday, December 20, 2010

From Georgia to New Jersey (Oh my!)

We'll be off for NJ in a few days... The boys are riding with the hubby and the gals get to travel in Rudolph =)


I'm so excited to get to see my family and some friends I have left behind in my home state... that will be a blessing.

I'm glad the kids get to see their grandparents too. They haven't seen them since the beginning of the year.

I'm making a CD of my fave Christmas songs to take with us and here are the lyrics to my number one fave of all time:

Mary Did You Know? (Kenny Rogers/Wynnona Judd)

Mary, did you know
that your baby boy will one day walk on water?

Mary, did you know
that your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?

Did you know,
that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered,
will soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know
that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?

Mary, did you know
your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand?

Did you know,
that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little baby,
you've kissed the face of God.

The blind will see
The deaf will hear
The dead will live again.
The lame will leap
The dumb will speak
The praises of The Lamb.

Mary, did you know
that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?

Mary, did you know
that your baby boy will one day rule the nations?

Did you know,
that your baby boy is heaven's perfect lamb?
This sleeping child you're holding, is the great I AM.

Five days til Christmas and the spirit is cracking through =)

Dog/Cat Diary... LOL

*Note: a girl who I will just call "BF" posted this in a group I'm in. I thought it was funny and want to share. (I only used her initials b/c I don't know if she would like me actually using her name.) I don't know where she got it, so don't shoot me for not giving proper credit where due. =)



8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Day 983 of my captivity!
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. The sick bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies'. I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He obviously has issues.


Sunday, December 19, 2010

Christmas Spirit... Bahumbug....

Yup, that's me right now... Bahumbug... Usually Christmas time is one of my fave times of year, but this year, not so much. I just don't have it in my heart like I usually do...maybe I'm just wore out.

Now, you might be wondering what the "christmas spirit" is to me...I suppose I can share my feelings. =)

To me, Christmas is a time of giving and caring...putting a smile on someone's face... giving doesn't always mean something material either!! It's about being grateful for what you have and passing on your "wealth". I think my feelings on this also coincide with what Christmas is for most Christians... the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. I'm mean if you think about it, He gave...He cared... and nothing He did was materialistic. He brings about a sense of hope and love as I think the "christmas spirit" does also, if you let it.

Apparently, I'm not letting it. I have had a rough year in many ways and I won't turn this into a "pity party" but I'm just not feeling it!! Maybe I need to listen to more christmas more jolly christmas movies...decorate more...give more of myself to others.... most importantly, get back to Jesus.... but I just don't wanna.... I'm spent...

I don't feel like smiling in everyone's face, but I will, because that is the right thing to do right now....

I don't feel like being all happy go jolly for the kids, but I will, because it's not their fault I am have a shitty, poor-me kind of year...

So, I will drive around in my Rudolph car smiling and being fake, all the while feeling like Scrooge on the inside... Maybe next christmas will be different.

I can't be perfect all the time ;) *sarcasm intended*


Friday, December 17, 2010

When I felt Overwhelmed (The Art of Caring)

The journal entry says:

"Think back to a time you felt overwhelmed or exhausted, most likely you lost compassion for yourself and others. Most of us do when we feel too tired or too overwhelmed. Most likely it wasn't your proudest moment and you might not want to think back to that time...but try. As you write about feeling overwhelmed, describe what happened."

One of my overwhelming moments happened over 2yrs ago and it was something that had building over time, yet I didn't know it. When I "hit bottom" it definitely wasn't my proudest moment, however I don't mind thinking back b/c I'm grateful it happened, even if it is something I have to deal with for the rest of my life.

My husband was on his third deployment and I was tired. Tired of everything...the housework, the dog, the kids, cooking, friends.... just life in general. Our house just feel apart. I didn't clean or care to. My kids were the only thing I took time to force myself to handle and I did that half-assed. You know how some houses you can tell they have a dog b/c of the smell? Well, that was my house. (For the record, I had never ever been like this before!)

So, I knew something was wrong with me... my neighbor and some others could tell too. I was sad all the time, no energy, wanted to sleep constantly, and cared for nothing. We all assumed I was depressed but I looked at that as a sign of weakness and didn't want to seek help. Soon I kinda had no other choice but to get help. I was getting worse and everything seemed to crumbling on me. I was definitely feeling overwhelmed.

I called Military OneSource (1.800.342.9647) and I got myself set up with counseling. The woman I went to said I had all the signs of being depressed and on the extreme side. Since she couldn't prescribe me anything, she sent me to my regular doctor to get put on depression medication. I kind of felt stupid about it until I realized depression is a chemical imbalance the medication helps you get your "balance" back. And with continued therapy you can be helped a lot.

I went to my regular doctor and prescribed me something but he also took one look at me and told me he was running bloodwork ASAP! I was just like, "okay, whatever". Two days later my doctor called me and told me he needed me in office right away. Apparently, my thyroid had totally shut down on me. No wonder I was tired and sleeping all the time... most times, people confuse thyroid problems with depression. My TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) was so high that my doctor was surprised I wasn't in a coma. My doctor got me started on a low dose of thyroid medication so my body didn't go into shock right away and gradually upped my dosage. We are still working on the correct dosage for me, lol. I feel much better now.

So, while it is embarrassing that my house was like that and I didn't care about myself or my kids or anyone, I am not ashamed b/c it couldn't be helped. I had no idea something was medically wrong with me. I am so glad I had that overwhelming moment b/c now my life is saved.

For more info on hypothyroidism check out:


REF*The Art of Caring*

Thursday, December 16, 2010

The time I felt Scared (The Art of Caring)

The journal entry says:

"As you reflect on the times you felt scared, what comes to mind?"

When I think of times I have been scared, one moment in time comes to mind the most. My husband had just left to go back from R&R on his third deployment and my aunt called me to let me know my mother, who was dying of cancer, was going down fast.

At this point, my mother wasn't really talking or doing much of anything. I like to hope that the doctors had her too doped up to feel any pain. It's been over 2yrs now since my mother died. Her dying isn't what scared me, or even the cancer that took her life. What scared me was what I had to do.

I had to find the courage some where in my soul of pain and grief to tell my mother to let go of her life. I hadn't even heard if my husband was back safely in Iraq and I had to talk to my mommy and tell her it was time to go. We think she was holding on, not sure for what, but we think maybe my brother's bday since it was only a day or two away.

My aunt called me and I told her I wanted to talk to my mom. I didn't know if she would be able to hear me, but I think she did b/c my aunt said it seemed like she from whatever she was doing when I was on the phone. I was scared she wouldn't know who I was, but mostly I was scared of what I was about to tell her....

"Mommy, it's Jamie. He left this morning to go back to Iraq. I'm sorry we couldn't come see you. Mommy, I want you to know that I love you very much and so does JT and Jackie. Mommy, I promise you that JT is gonna be fine, we're gonna make sure he gets straightened up. You don't have to worry about Jackie b/c she is with a great family and she is being taken care of and living how you would want. We all love you, and we'll all miss you very much, but you have to let go now. It's time for you to go on to a place where you can live again and not be in pain. Mommy, just let go and move on. I love you."

My mother died the next day. The fear I felt in my heart, telling her that, doesn't come close to any other fear I have ever had.

The pillow I ordered with all the flowers for her funeral:




REF*The Art of Caring*

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

When I had to say Goodbye (The Art of Caring)

The journal entry says:

"Think back to the last moments together before your loved one left for deployment and write a brief reflection about what it was like to say goodbye.

Well, this was our fourth deployment and I could feel the strain before he even left. That night he was leaving a little late so we all (him, I and the kids) went out to dinner. The time just seemed to be slowly going by and my stomach was in knots. I barely wanted to eat anything but I did as to not alarm him of myself falling apart. After dinner we went back home and chilled for a little bit.

When it came time to take him to the company, my head hurt, my stomach hurt and my heart hurt.... I didn't want to see him leaving again. I felt like it was so unfair that they were sending him back to that hell hole for the fourth time!! BUT....duty calls and I had to let him go. The kids and I didn't stay and wait with him long b/c he knows I get upset easy and he didn't want to see it. He said he had to get in his game, so to speak, and my emotional break down would not help him any. Since it was late and the kids needed to be in bed, we said our good byes in the parking lot at the company where everyone was dropping off their bags. I got my last hug and tried to hold on as long as I could, until he had to pry me off him and tell me to stop being soft. He said his good byes to the kids and we left him there. We drove home in silence...all except for my sobbing.

What he doesn't know is how I cried myself to sleep that night. Not for fear of what might happen to him over there b/c it's a give-in I was worried about that, but for fear of what was going to happen with us. Four deployments in 8 yrs is a lot. We have been changing and growing each year and missing out on it. He's a different person when he comes home and so I am. Maybe not different in major ways, but it's all the little things that add up. Some couples don't make it through one deployment and here was our fourth. I was scared. He is home now and only been home a little under a week and I'm still scared for us.


REF*The Art of Caring*

The Art of Caring / Trevor Romain Foundation

My kids came home today with this little "kit". It is called "The Art of Caring"... they get a DVD and a journal and I get a book and a journal... so I think I will share my journal postings here in the blog. On the posts that concern the journal I will put the name of the journal in (( ))... for example:

Name of post (The Art of Caring)

Here's where you can find out more about the "Trevor Romain Foundation", The Trevor Romain Foundation is a nonprofit organization creating resources to support and comfort military children and their families when challenged by adversity.

The Trevor Romain Foundation


Monday, December 13, 2010

Risk Factors & Warning signs for Families - Suicide prevention

*While at the ACS building today I picked up some pamphlets and such to share with everyone. (for those of you who are new and not up on the acronyms, ACS = Army Community Service... you can brush up on acronyms here -->Army Acronyms)

From the "Suicide Prevention Training Tip Card" -

Risk factors for adults (including soldiers) and children:
*previous suicide attempts
*close family member who has committed suicide
*past psychiatric hospitalization
*recent losses (death of family member, divorce/separation, break up with gf/bf)
*poor social skills (difficulty interacting with others, problems starting a conversation and making friends)
*drug or alcohol use (drugs decrease impulse control making impulsive suicide more likely, some try to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol)
*violence in the home or social environment
*handguns in the home
*work-related problems
*serious medical problems
*poor school performance

Warning signs that an adult/soldier needs help:
*noticeable changes in eating and sleeping habits
*talking or hinting about suicide
*obsession with death (in music, poetry, artwork, etc)
*alcohol and or drug use or abuse
*giving away possessions/suddenly making a will
*feeling sad, depressed, hopeless
*finalizing personal affairs
*coworkers, family & friends are concerned

Warning signs that a child/adolescent needs help:
*noticeable change in eating and sleeping habits
*unexplained, or unusually severe, violent or rebellious behavior
*running away
*unusual neglect in appearance
*drastic mood swings
*hostile towards other children
*withdraws from peers
*gives away possessions
*feeling sad or depressed
*obsession with death (music, poetry, art, etc)
*physical complaints that are not real
*talks about death
*your child's teacher or other trusted adult tells you that your child is acting different and may need help

Your Resources:
Army Center for Health Promotion and Preventive Medicine (CHPPM)
Community Mental Health Clinic (CMHC)
Family Readiness Groups (FRG) -for more on FRG, read here -->What is the FRG?
Military OneSource - 1-800-342-9647
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 1-800-273-TALK
National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center
School Counselors
Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors

Some books you may find Helpful:

*please take note if you can't see the links to the books, you have view my blog to see it (if this is coming through the news feed)

My blog link ---> Soldier's Angel

Thursday, December 9, 2010

The big day....

The day is here... I go get my husband tonight in the freezing cold for the homecoming ceremony... I have butterflies in my belly and I'm anxious, happy, sad...every emotion you can feel, I'm feeling...okay, well maybe not EVERY emotion...but you get the point =)

Yesterday the hours flew by and today they are at a stand the clock just isn't moving, yet I look at it and time has passed with me not noticing...I've cleaned, watched movies, played on facebook, chatted with Sharon and Sara ((thanks for the help and company ladies!!)) I've got the kids from school and it's time to play the waiting game. Wait, wait, wait....until it's time to leave....

Random family pic time - Slideshow

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Tick tock Tick tock.....

Hours...counting hours...tick tock... We're down to the wire now and I'm more of a wreck than I was with the other deployments... no deployment is ever the same for anyone involved. The soldier goes through different things and the ones left behind go through different things each time. This one has taken a toll on us and we've made it through another one, but have we survived? That is still to be determined...

Past blogs about our deployments:
Our First Deployment
Our Second Deployment
Our Third Deployment

You know, some people change for the better, some for the worse...time and circumstances determine how a person changes and I'm not sure what this has done to me... that is the scariest part... not knowing... not being sure of yourself for once is a scary thing...I know what I want and what I want to do and how I want things to go, but things don't always work how we want, do they?

I've been praying a lot lately and I need to get back to my relationship with Jesus b/c I really let go.... but now, I'm leaving it in HIS hands, b/c I can't do anything more... I'm all out of myself... I can't give anymore, I can't try anymore... I don't have the answers... all I have to give is gone.


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Stay or go?

Women in that position... stay or go?

Stay for the sake of the kids? Stay for the sake of love that you HOPE is still there? Stay because you're scared to leave since he is all you know? Stay because you believe in the deepest parts of your soul that it will all work out in the end?

Go for the sake of your sanity? Go for the sake of the kids? Go because just maybe that belief in the deepest parts of your souls is wrong, that it won't work out?

How do you decide? Do you wait until you've had enough? Until you've reached your breaking point? What is your breaking point? When is it enough?

Cheating, lies, head games... what more can you can take? How much more can you handle before you snap? What's that? Do it back you say? Show him what it's like to be on the receiving end? At what price? What will that cost your soul, your integrity, your morals and self-worth?

In the end, he's the one who has to live with how he is... and what a person to live with.


Monday, December 6, 2010

More happy pills please?

I'm one big ball of anxiety wrapped in "AHHHHHHHHHHHH".... these next few days can't go by fast enough for me. I feel like I am going absolutely crazy.
When he gets home we are going to New Jersey for christmas and I think that is what has me worked up.... I'm not looking forward to it at all. Don't get me wrong, I want to see my family and friends, but it's gonna be way too much for me for other reasons, but for my husband and my kids, I will suck it up and go. Just pray for me =)


Yesterday I went with my awesome buddies, Sharon and Sara, to stand in the cold and wait for Ludacris. Thank God we got there early because apparently he didn't get to see everyone and people were mad. So, I got a cd signed by him and my pic with him.



Now, looking at the picture, I see I need to stop fooling around and get back to losing weight... I was happy with losing 30 pounds.... AT FIRST... but now I need to get working on my next thirty. So, it's gonna be back to counting calories and exercising again. Gotta get my sexii on =) But first, I gotta get in gear and get ready for homecoming!! Yay!


Friday, December 3, 2010

The heart will go on and on....

Celion Dion's song "My Heart Will Go On" always makes me cry. I'm a sap, I know... if you want to cry just list to it... My Heart Will Go On by: Celion Dion

I'm sitting here watching Titanic... my Friday night is a sap night... you know those nights where you just want to "boo hoo" it out all over the place, but privately...When you need a good cry and you pop in the movie you know will do it for ya.... that movie for me is Titanic....

I think most women who have ever been in love can relate to this story... young Rose who is confused and pressured finds love in a very unexpected place... in a forbidden place... in a "street rat"... I know I can relate to that, to that feeling of the forbidden... my grandfather was as racist as they come and my falling in love and having a baby with a black man crossed the line. He had his moment and said some words, but after a stern talking to by my aunt (RIP Aunt Robbie), he came around... thank goodness he didn't try to shoot any body like Cal on Titanic...we would have had some problems...LOL

And oh the love between Rose and Jack that flourished so quickly... and deeply... "you jump, I jump"... Have you ever felt that? I have... I can relate there too... loving someone so much that you go with them wherever, whenever.... that love that brings you physical pain when you think of something happening to your beloved... or something happening to your relationship with your beloved... The euphoric highs that come with that love....indescribable... and the lows that come in bad times, gut wrenching...

In the end, with Jack's death, Rose actually begins to live... you see she was dead inside before Jack, he brought her to life.... he saved her... I can relate there too... the part of saving me, not the death part LOL.... when I met my husband I was so down and in such a bad place within myself... he brought me back to life...he helped me heal the wounds that had been holding back... and if he were to die, I don't know that my heart could on... could I do like Rose did? and go on, living her life not only for herself, but for Jack? Could I go on living for me? For him? I just don't know if I'm that strong....


The 10 Commandments...

...Of Permanent Fat Removal

1. Thou shalt honor and believe in thyself.

2. Thou shalt move they booty - move it and move it some more!

3. Thou shalt never go hungry again. Eat small meals and healthy snacks throughout the day.

4. Thou shalt stock thy fridge with the right stuff - the fruits and veggies of the earth.

5. Thou shalt honestly write it down. If you bite it, you must write it.

6. Thou shalt weigh and measure - thyself and thy food.

7. Thou shalt drink enough holy water to frighten noah and map out all the restrooms in thy village.

8. Thou shalt not deny thyself a treat or two now and then.

9. Thou shalt not eat out of misery, boredom, anxiety...but should thou indulge, thou shalt forgive thyself.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's plate.


From Our Lady of Weight Loss, advertised below =)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

I've been on an herbal tea kick...

I love my yerba mate with ginger root!! Gets the fire going and gives ya a boost of energy. I have also been drinking regular green tea and white tea. All w/o sweetener! Three other teas I have been drinking are Yogi tea - green tea goji berry, Yogi tea - green tea pomegranate (which has powerful antioxidants) and Bija -hoodia slimming tea.... I love the taste of them all =)

I've been frequenting this all natural food store in town and I love it in there! It's where I've been getting my teas and I could stay in there for hours just browsing around and reading all the different things they have. I've been trying different teas since I'm trying to give up coffee all together. Plus, herbal teas are beneficial!!


I seriously love them and recommend them to all tea lovers! =)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Random Questions...they're always fun, right?

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, what's the first thing you say?

Damn girl, what a rat's nest on your head!

2. How much cash do you have on you?

10 bucks

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?


4. Favorite planet?

Uranus...had to do a report on it in 5th grade

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?

1-800 number

6. What is your main ring tone on your phone?

"Life after you"

7. What shirt are you wearing?


8. Do you "label" yourself?

I don't label myself

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?


10. Bright or Dark Room?

Softly lit

11. What were you doing at midnight last night?

trying to sleep

12. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?

"LOL" from Sara R.

13. What's a saying that you say a lot?

"what the fuck?"

14. Who told you they loved you last?

my kids

15. Last furry thing you touched?

sharon's dog...all up in my boobies lol

16. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past three Days?

several....synthroid and ativan

17. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?

who still uses those things lol

18. Favorite age you have been so far?

def not 31

19. Your worst enemy?

i have no enemies

20. What is your current desktop picture?

pic of my husband in his uniform

21. What was the last thing you said to someone?

"thank you sir"

22. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret?

one major regret

23. Do you like someone?


24. The last song you listened to?

Keisha coles - let it go

How many pages do I have?!!

Are people so concerned with how many pages I made on facebook? Is it really that serious? Well, let's answer that question....

I have *Army Wives Do It With Hooah*........ this my "baby"...the page I post most on...and Marissa is my wonderful Co-mod.

I also made *Army Wives Do It With Hooah* - Gettin' fit & fab..... that page I don't post on so much but I have too other mods on it.

I made Dearest Deployment ~ Kiss My Ass.... I don't post much there either, but my awesome mod Kira does =)

I made Separated by duty: United by love.... I post there sometimes, but not much... I have 3 other mods there who post, Audrey & Shana & Julie =)

I am a co-mod on 2 other peoples pages, Moms of Military Brats and Free Speech Debates.

Now, why is this ridiculous? I'm just curious. I don't have a job, my job is being a SAHM for now. My kids all go to school all day long and as long as my house is clean and the things that need to be taken care of are done, I see no problem with spending my free time online doing what I please. Do I really bother some people this much that they worry about what I do online? I could be out hookin' around and spending all kinds of money while my husband is away, but instead I chose to do something constructive like help others. Man, someone should shoot me b/c I'm horrible =)

 Update - I now only have *Army Wives Do It With Hooah* - I got rid of the others (except fit & fab, but I don't post on there). Too time consuming, especially with AWDIWH growing. - 8/7/2012

So, instead all these bitches being haters they should take prozac and be happy =)


Another one Bites the dust...

Another deployment that is... we are almost done and I am so glad!!!


People ask all the time, "how do you do it?".... and now, after the 4th deployment, I think I finally have the answer!!! It's not about keeping yourself busy and throwing yourself into your work or hobbies.... it's not about always being strong and playing the part of some perfect army wife(myth)who hides her feelings so she looks like she's put together.... You get through it with loved ones! Whether it's family or friends. For me, it was my friends.

I have been on a Roller Coaster Ride these past few months of hormonal flip outs and bursts of crying...and I will say this, the only ones who can truly understand, are those who are going through the same thing....

The other night I had my biggest melt down yet and it's been months in the making. If my friends hadn't come over it would have been a horrible night for me... but with their help, I was able to laugh and smile, at what I remember (bad SoCo lol) and yet still whine and cry and look like ass b/c that's what I needed. They understood that and they let me be. They let me get it out without telling me things like:

"Suck it up and deal with it Jamie"
"Stop being a baby and put on your big girl panties"
"You stop this right now, you HAVE to be strong"

No, I didn't hear any of that... I heard funny stories about hotdogs and tacos. When I wanted to bitch about my husband, they let me bitch and added, "amen sista"!!! That is what friends do... if you don't have friends like that, you need to get some ASAP!