Christmas Spirit... Bahumbug....

Yup, that's me right now... Bahumbug... Usually Christmas time is one of my fave times of year, but this year, not so much. I just don't have it in my heart like I usually do...maybe I'm just wore out.

Now, you might be wondering what the "christmas spirit" is to me...I suppose I can share my feelings. =)

To me, Christmas is a time of giving and caring...putting a smile on someone's face... giving doesn't always mean something material either!! It's about being grateful for what you have and passing on your "wealth". I think my feelings on this also coincide with what Christmas is for most Christians... the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. I'm mean if you think about it, He gave...He cared... and nothing He did was materialistic. He brings about a sense of hope and love as I think the "christmas spirit" does also, if you let it.

Apparently, I'm not letting it. I have had a rough year in many ways and I won't turn this into a "pity party" but I'm just not feeling it!! Maybe I need to listen to more christmas music....watch more jolly christmas movies...decorate more...give more of myself to others.... most importantly, get back to Jesus.... but I just don't wanna.... I'm spent...

I don't feel like smiling in everyone's face, but I will, because that is the right thing to do right now....

I don't feel like being all happy go jolly for the kids, but I will, because it's not their fault I am have a shitty, poor-me kind of year...

So, I will drive around in my Rudolph car smiling and being fake, all the while feeling like Scrooge on the inside... Maybe next christmas will be different.

I can't be perfect all the time ;) *sarcasm intended*

Saturday morning blues...

I can't say it's really morning now since it's 12:10 as I write this... the house is quite because the kids are out playing and I'm sipping on some coffee and eating fried potatoes.. This morning has been one of those "ugh" mornings... granted I got to talk to the hubs but the end of this deployment is dragging ass!!

After talking to the hubster, I got a text from a friend who thinks her hubs might miss Thanksgiving by a day or have to leave the day of to return back from R&R. That sucks. Now, I know they can have Thanksgiving dinner early, but that it isn't the point, it still sucks. And than I see another friend had some bad news that obviously had to do with her hubby. Don't know what, but either way, my heart is heavy for her. I hate when my friends upset, especially when there is nothing I can do to help fix the situation.