Wednesday, April 27, 2011

"Don't Marry a Soldier" - My responses to this idiocy...

So, I've been seeing something floating around facebook and I'm gonna address it here. The "article" is called "Don't Marry A Soldier" and you can read it HERE. I will copy/paste each of the reasons these idiots list ((there are 37 of them)) and I will respond to each one. My answers/comments will be in red. ~

1. In 2009, 6000 vets committed suicide. Why? Because they were so ashamed of themselves that they felt compelled to execute themselves. Think how many more vets are crippled with guilt who want to commit suicide but can’t quite bring themselves to do it. ((and you know the reason they committed suicide? are you psychic? do you have all knowing powers? yeah, didn't think so)) Do you want to risk marrying someone who deserts you by killing himself? ((how do you know my husband would kill himself? you don't... not every soldier is the same...just like not every muslim is a terrorist)) Do you want to be married to a man who has committed deeds so terrible he feels suicide is the only way to atone for them? ((again, are you all knowing? how do you know what any of these soldiers are thinking or feeling?))  Do you want to be tied to someone who is so suicidally depressed that no treatment or medication helps? ((yes, if this happened to my husband i would stand by's called love...that's what i do)) Do you want a man in your bed, or near your kids, who has committed deeds so unspeakably awful he is too ashamed to tell anyone what they were. ((and you know they ALL committed "unspeakable and awful deeds" how? not all who are deployed even see combat)) Psychopaths are incredibly charming. ((psychopathy: a mental disorder in which an individual manifests amoral and antisocial behavior, lack of ability to love or establish meaningful personal relationships --- my husband has been deployed 4 times and is far from antisocial, he has tons of love in him and he has many meaningful personal FAIL)) 

2. Your loved one will be off for months and years at a time. He may be back only days before being shipped out again. This can be a pretty lonely life. If you have children, you will be largely raising them by yourself. Without a full time father, they are more likely to have behavioural problems. Your husband will probably be away when your children are born, leaving you to endure labour alone, and missing those crucial first hours of bonding. Ask any child of a military man. They make distant, aloof fathers. They don’t bond properly. (( do you have proof of this? my husband is gone just about every other year and has a great relationship with all three of his kids... it depends on the husband and wife to keep the relationship with the kids going.. a good father will keep in touch with his kids and bond with them no matter where in the world they are and a good mother will nourish that relationship/bond as much as she can... you FAIL again))

3.The military whips recruits into good physical shape. It is hard not to be swept away by that trim athletic body. That is about the only plus, and even that won’t last forever. If you do decide to marry a soldier, that is probably the real reason. Hormones are taking over your brain. You are picking a good mate as if you lived in a cave and needed a muscular brute to protect you from wild animals. Think of the misery you know others have found marrying a handsome bastard. ((my husband has been athletic all his life and played sports all throughout high school..we've been together for 15yrs and married BEFORE he joined the army ... i married my high school sweetheart and father of my kids, not a soldier))

4. If your husband participates is an aggressive war (illegal first strike war) such as Afghanistan or Iraq, he is guilty of a capital war crime, even if he just peeled potatoes. The USA currently does not recognise the authority of the world court and acts to protect its vets from proscecution. However, the USA will not always be the world’s only superpower and won’t be able to thumb its nose at the world court forever. In the meantime, other countries are treaty bound to prosecute your husband if he steps on their soil. Most don’t do it, because they fear the American reprisal, but that will not necessarily always be true. There is no statute of limitations on war crimes. Prosecuted or not, you are still married to a war criminal, guilty of the same crime as the Nazis hanged at the end of WW II. ((and you're the expert on war crimes? where is your proof of this? you make no references or links to back anything you say))

5. Unless he reaches high rank, he will never be able to provide for you and your family properly. Many soldiers’ wives live worse than those on welfare. ((really? my husband is now higher ranking than a SGT and even when he was an E-1 we lived good... way better than before he joined the

6. You will be transferred over and over. You have to pull up roots on a moments notice and move off somewhere else. You have no say in the matter. ((I happen to like moving and meeting new people and seeing lots of places....pretty exciting if you ask me..)) If you have children, they will become army brats, children who never learn to socialise with other children since they are never in one place long enough to make lasting friends, children who do poorly in school because of the repeated disruptions. ((my kids socialize great, do pretty well in school and have tons of friends...if anything they are more social and outgoing)) You can’t have a carreer of your own because you are forced over and over to quit without notice. All this moving means you can’t put down roots anywhere or make lasting friends. ((some women don't think careers are all that important, family comes first...and you can still have lasting friends even when you move..i do)) You are nothing more than the wife of your husband, a decorative adjunct without value in your own right. You won’t even have the support of your family since they may be continent’s away. ((i'm decorative? cool, i always thought i was kinda pretty... and you don't need to be in the same town for your family to support you... do you really believe the shit you're writing? lol)) 

7. You will constantly dread that phone call or knock on the door to let you know your husband has been seriously injured or killed. There will be a knock on the door. There will be a man in crew cut standing there who says, “I am sorry for your loss” in a rather wooden, bored way. ((not really, i don't focus on the negative things, but thanks for being concerned )) You will have to start your life all over from scratch. Or it could be your husband himself in a wheelchair, looking many pounds overweight, speaking in a halting, brain-damaged, distracted voice, like someone with Alzheimers, with an ostomy bag strapped to his stomach. Loss of genitals is a common injury. For the rest of his life, you are obligated to be his nurse rather than his wife. ((and i would gladly take care of him b/c i love him...physical appearance is not everything))

8. Your husband can be killed at any time. It is a sword of Damocles over your head for his entire career. He will leave you to care for your family as a single parent. ((my husband could be killed in a car accident here if he weren't a soldier, what's your point? and who says i would stay a single parent? eventually i would remarry))

9. It is common for soldiers to suffer from PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He may panic at any loud sound. He may wake up in the night screaming. He may attack you imagining you are an enemy soldier. He may become paranoid. Make sure you learn what PTSD is before you presume love will automatically give you the resources to deal with it. ((so should my husband not be with me b/c i'm a woman and could be raped and get PTSD? fail again... you can get PTSD from tons of things, not just being in a war))

10. If you discovered your fiancé had murdered his previous two wives, you might have second thoughts, ditto if you had discovered he had murdered a dozen strangers of random ages and genders just because he was paid to. You are considering marrying a man who is under unbreakable contract to the government to kill strangers and who may have already done it. If he later gets a crisis of conscience and refuses to kill one of his assigned targets, he can he shot on the spot. What kind of person signs such a contract? Not even Mafioso enslave themselves to that extent. ((people who are not soldiers kill others simply for looking at them wrong, at least soldiers get paid ;) haha, don't like my joke? too bad...))

11. Soldiers often do some disreputable things under peer pressure that they avoid talking about. This is includes drinking to excess, whoring, drug-taking, raping, bullying and terrorising, hazing, killing and raping children and torturing. The fundamentalist Taliban had eliminated drug trafficking. Under US military control, Afghanistan has risen to #1 heroin producer in the world, selling over a trillion dollars worth a year. This could not happen if US soldiers were not complicit in the drug trade. Recall that a significant number of US soldiers returned from Vietnam addicted to heroin. The remote control nature of much of modern warfare ensures the primary targets will be children and civilians. A soldier often does not even see his victims. When he kills blindly like this e.g. with napalm, cluster bombs, land mines or white phosphorus, in a third world country like Iraq where most of the people are under 15, inevitably he kills more children than adults, and civilians than soldiers. In addition when American soldiers attack they have a massive advantage in power, armaments and technology. This power corrupts them to toy with the civilian populations, to torment them for amusements like a child tormenting insects. The military likes remote control warfare because it keeps their soldiers safe, and it protects the soldiers from emotionally feeling the impact of their butchery. These soldiers look just like anyone else. You would never guess from the soldiers’ clean-cut faces what mischief they have been up to. Recall the pudgy boyish face of Lt. Calley of the Mai Lai massacre in Vietnam. The domestic charms of house and home don’t quite do it for them anymore. These sadistic desires were always in the background. The thrill of violence was part of the appeal for them enlisting — to commit cruel acts without any possibility of legal repercussions. When you marry a soldier, you are marrying someone more prone to abusing you and your children too. His standards of what constitutes acceptable behaviour are warped by war experience. ((all i have to say to this entire thing is that not all soldiers go to war, duh))

12. A Canadian soldier returned from the relatively gentle Afghanistan war with PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He repeatedly abused his infant triplet sons, breaking 19 of their bones. He blamed the attacks on his condition. Do you really want someone with PTSD anywhere near your kids or near you?((i would say the problem lies with the mother here if she is continuing to let her kids be around someone who is abusing them and needs help))

13. Your husband can suffer a brain injury or be made a paraplegic. This is 2 to 8 times as likely as death depending whom you ask. Professor Stiglitz of Columbia University said that as of 2006-01, there were more than 7000 servicemen with brain, spinal, amputation and other serious injuries, and about 20% of those injured have suffered major head or spinal injury. This turns him into a giant infant who has to be feed, bathed and diapers changed. You are morally stuck with caring for him 24/7 for the rest of your life whether you continue to love him or not. ((again, this could happen to a civilian in a car wreck... next))

14. When you rip off the pretty bunting, what the military is about is killing, torturing, maiming and terrorising people. In modern warfare, most of the victims are civilians and most of those are children. On some level, your husband was drawn to this killing. ((lol, really? do you know my husband to know what he is "drawn" too? have you served in the military to know what it is all about? do you ignore the good the military does just to justify your idiotic thoughts?)) 

15. You also might wonder about a man that selected an occupation that would keep him away from his wife most of the time, especially when he spends that time in the company of young fit men excluding the company of women. If he is a closeted homosexual or bisexual, getting married primarily to satisfy the demands of his parents and church, you are in for a life of misery. He will never be able to truly love you. He will never be true to you. Gay men used to sign on as sailors in the days of sailing ships, but would have a wife, in name only. Even straight men in prisons and in the military without access to women often resort to homosexual encounters. ((so now all military men are gay? bwahahaahaa lol))

16. Soldiers are often exposed to teratogens like DU, herbicides (like Vietnam’s Agent Orange laced with dioxin), chemicals, chemical warfare, biological warfare, not to mention exotic parasites and tropical diseases. This may cause cancer later, or even more likely will cause your children and their children to be genetically deformed. Would you ever forgive yourself if your child was born hideously deformed, or even mildly damaged because of the damage these agents did to your husband’s sperm?  ((yeah i don't have to worry about that b/c i won't be having any more kids))

17. If you love and cherish your husband, you are encouraging and enabling him to do his job of soldiering. Soldiering is a sickening, revolting job, and it takes the memory of a loving wife for many to continue. You then became complicit is his war crimes. You are morally tarred with his misdeeds. ((what made you think i have morals?)) Today, Canada and the USA only fight in illegal aggressive wars. They are not defending their countries as did soldiers in past. You are sacrificing yourself for goals as evil as any Nazi wife did, mostly killing civilians and children and teenagers who posed no threat to Canada, the USA or Britain. Have a look at photos of some of the children hideously tortured and killed by the likes of people just like your husband. ((so all soldiers torture people? thanks for the info)) The people who committed these atrocities appear just as sweet as your guy. They don’t have green saliva. That is his dirty secret. He gets off on killing, and admit it, so do you or your heart would not be attracted to such a man. ((oh yes!! killing turns me on!! i'm getting all worked up just reading this!! hold on, i need to take care of that..........okay, i'm back, that was great ;) ...idiot))

18. If your soldier lover woos you, and holds out the promise of marriage, but never seems to pop the question, consider he may already have a wife back home, and he is just using you for sex. ((uh huh, i'm the wife hon))

19. ((all i read was "blah blah blah" more dumb words lol))

20. On 2007-10-15 a young woman told me she had gone to a bar and met a pleasant young man, who turned out be joining the military. The young woman recoiled, and asked “How will you feel when you are ordered to drop a bomb? You will be killing innocent people, perhaps a child. How will you feel about killing a child?” He responded, “It wouldn’t matter so long as it was a foreign child.” This is every soldier’s true answer. He could not kill children, a required side effect of modern warfare, if it weren’t. You don’t want that sort of man anywhere near your children. ((wrong, my husband would say it's either the kid or him, and that would be concerning any child with a bomb strapped to his chest, foreign or not))

21. Military men can become addicted to combat. They crave the danger, the killing and the intense emotional involvement with other men. Peaceful civilian life just bores them and they abandon their families over and over to get their adrenalin fix with their buddies. ((anything can be addictive... again with the involvement with men, are you gay? you seem fixated on it))

22. Military life is all about giving and executing orders. Mentally healthy people don’t enjoy bullying or being bullied. By marrying a soldier you are on some level getting involved in a relationship game of dominance/submission, even S&M. ((we only do the dominance in the bedroom ;) thanks)) If you are not into it yourself, you are setting yourself up for hell. The fantasy may be titilating, but the reality is for most people either terminally boring or terrifying. The military is all about hierarchy, status and blind obedience the very opposite of the teamwork equality needed for a good marriage. ((isn't this how the government and some churches are? preach about them too please))

23. What do you think of the wife of a serial killer, someone who murders dozens of innocent women and children? Someone like Karla Homolka. You feel revulsion. You wonder what sort of perverse motivation attracted her to such a killer. You wonder how she could bear to lie in bed next to such a creep. That is how many people will feel about you if you a marry a soldier, aka a hit man, a serial killer paid by the military to butcher and torture innocent people with illegal horror weapons such as napalm, cluster bombs, white phosphorus and land mines. To create shock & awe, they use weapons that kill as more painfully than any civilian serial killer would devise. Even after you come to your senses and divorce the creep, the shame will stick to you for the rest of your life. ((you obviously don't know me very well, i don't give a fuck what people think of me.... and the good my husband has done while in his military career far outweighs the bad...for that i carry pride, not shame))

24. How do you feel about Eva von Braun, Mrs. Adolph Hitler? She did not kill anyone, but she supported her husband in some rather unsavoury acts. Were she still alive, people would spit on her, and try to run her down with their cars. Your potential husband will be a war criminal, like Hitler, just not on such a grand scale, but if his deeds were known, (especially torture, white phosphorous and crimes against children), it would bring equal disapprobation on you. Some people will despise you even more than they despise the Nazi wives for your role is supporting and encouraging your serial killer husband. The Nazi wives had the excuse of being swept away by masterful propaganda. You don’t. You took on your support role with eyes wide open. You can expect the hatred toward you to grow, just as it did the Nazi wives, as the deeds of their husbands became more widely known. ((see previous response please))

 25. Many soliders become addicted to dangerous drugs. They are easy to get and cheap in third world countries. They many not even realise they are taking heavy drugs. For example in the Vietnam era, Viet Cong would secretly salt American soldiers’ beer with opium. Further, soldiers lied to themselves that opium in this form was harmless. They may take drugs to deal with the pressure of combat. Drugs are known under local names, and soldiers kid themselves they must be harmless. Timothy McVeigh became addicted to methamphetamines while on duty in Desert Storm in Iraq. This made him psychotic. Life in a combat zone has few pleasures and many sorrows so soldiers commonly turn to drugs for relief just to cope. ((come on, drugs? lawyers become addicted to drugs, people in the music business become addicted to drugs.. again, where are your studies? all your fail is hilarious))

26. Eventually the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq will be over, and people from those countries will come as tourists or immigrants to the USA. It is not rocket science to find out who “served“ in Afghanistan and Iraq and even the atrocities they were involved in. Your husband’s victims may decide the only way they can have closure is to kill him, you and your entire family. This is trivially easy to accomplish in peacetime thanks to the NRA. Pray they do it in a way less painful and lingering your husband used. ((did you serve with my husband? did you seem him to horrible things to people? yeah i didn't think so... you make yourself look like an ASS when you ASSume all this stuff))

27. ((blah blah blah...more nazi crap...come on dude, you're boring me here))

28. Many returning from Iraq become mental basket cases unable to deal with the horrors of war and the guilt at what they have done. They beat up their children and wives and are emotionally distant. ((blah blah blah, more comments about ptsd and drugs/alcohol and abuse... why are you repeating the same reasons but wording them differently? running out of stuff?))

29.  ((here he compares soldiers and wives to Dahmer and his okay))

30. There are many additional reasons not to marry a soldier, which are reasons why your husband should not enlist. Many of those penalties, you will feel too. ((i thought there were only 37 reasons? should i follow the link just to see more of the same crap you're spewing but worded differently? nah, i'll pass))

31. Perhaps your soldier boy has snowed you that he is a brave fighter for freedom, nobly protecting his country from the bad guys. ((no, not really... he joined to provide for his family the best way he knew how considering where we lived and our situation...there you go, thinking you know EVERY soldier again...))

32. Some soldiers are really really stupid. They are Nazis at heart, who just go along with killing without making any effort at all to see if it is justified. They honestly think that Iraq and Afghanistan attacked the USA on 9/11 (even Bush claimed it was executed by Saudis and funded by Pakistan, setting aside all evidence for inside collusion) and they are killing peasants and children who have no weapons in order to protect their loved ones back home in the USA. These are the sort of people who appear on Jay Leno’s Jay Walking segment who are so out of touch with world events they don’t even know the name of their president. They don’t make any effort to see if the murders they are about to commit are justified because they fantasise they will enjoy killing. They don’t want the facts to interfere with their fun. Someone that stupid, that cruel and that selfish will never make an adequate bread winner. ((i am completely amazed at your gift to read the minds of every soldier in the world to know what they think and how they feel... were you born with this gift?))

33. The problem with marrying a soldier is that his is already married to the military. You will always play second fiddle. He will always do what they want, not what you want. The military will decide what country you live in, whom you socialise with, when your husband will leave you and for how long. They will decide whom your husband will kill next, and what risks he will take. They will even decide what sort of haircut he has and how he wears his facial hair. They will decide where your kids go to school. They will decide your income. You are marrying a Momma’s boy who likes being told what to do, and by someone who is not you. ((didn't you already say something to this effect in a previous comment? **yawns**))

34. However, if you are foreign born, and just want to get a meal ticket to the US-economy gravy train, marrying a soldier might make sense. He will be away most of the time, so you won’t have to have much sex with him. There is a good chance he will get his head blown off by an IED or turned into a mental vegetable. You can then marry someone else, without all his drawbacks, while you are still young. ((so now you approve? either you're against marrying them or you aren't...make up your mind))

35. Since time immemorial, man have escaped their duty to look after their children by running away to war. ((better to running off to war than just to leave for no reason ;) now that would suck ass))

36. Some of these points you will see clearly apply to the guy you are thinking of marrying. Some of these points clearly do not apply. Some disadvantages you may be unwilling to accept, but could well prove to apply later. All I ask is that you think deeply before leaping into a marriage that could ruin your life. Ask other women who have married men similar to the one you are planning to marry about the advantages and disadvantages. ((so you admit that not all soldiers are like you describe? lol silly wabbit))

 37. Women who are sexually attracted to men who kill children should not be permitted near children either, not even their own. ((i was sexin' my hubs before he joined ;) it was good too))

**from reading everything in this idiots post i have come to the conclusion he is an anarchist which explains his idiocy... i shall pray for him... 


  1. Whoever wrote this article is ignorant and has not a clue what they are talking about! I love my husband and have been with him since highschool I do not think of him any less cuz he could have killed a child or he could have PTSD! That is his job and if the person who wrote this would like to find jobs for every single soldier so they could support their families since the military "doesnt take care of the families" i would love to see that! People are need to grow up and learn what they are talking about before they open their mouths!

  2. Who ever wrote this crap needs to be BITCH SLAPPED! Great responses!!! Ignorant people like the jerk who wrote this make me want to puke! Great responses to all of it!

  3. love it! people have no idea what its like if they dont live it...i love my soldier thats ALL that matters...look down on me all u want!

  4. My husband has PTSD, as do I. Both of us are being treated and we're both very capable parents. He's still enlisted and I've been Medically Retired because of other medical problems but there's no reason to think that PTSD makes someone a "Monster" or something... Assigning stereotypes like that do nothing but add more damage... I'll be praying for him as well...

  5. All I see is blah blah blah Im a pissed off wife to a soldier and he screwed me over so now all of them are bad....oh and i cant spell....

    1. If you could read, you would know that the original article did not have a lot of mispelled words, unlike this blogger's responses.

  6. God give me strength ..... I will pray for you and your uneducated sorry excuse for an American behind....

  7. ALOT of our soldiers AND wives hold bachelors degrees or higher! so her saying that soldiers are stupid, is totally false!

  8. I love how this person is all about downing our soldiers, and yet it is our soldiers who give them the right to create such garbage without persecution.

  9. I'm not marrried to a soldier or have ever had a relationship with one. I do work around the military so I am confident when I say whoever wrote this article is a complete idiot. Why would you write something like that about the men and women who fight for our country and our freedom? The freedom that gives you the right to write such a stupid article!!! Sounds to me someone needs to quit feeling sorry for theirself and move on.

  10. thank you for reading and commenting =)

  11. The author gives new meaning to the word ignorant. In regards to the separations and everything that goes along with those, I always say "I'd rather be separated from someone I truly love, than miserable with someone else everyday".
    BTW... love your retaliations to each point ;)

  12. Anon, I'm pretty sure this writer isn't American. They are using British English.

  13. I think they are Canadian... You notice none if the implications that are current haves sources or are just compared to wars today's soldiers had nothing to do with. This writers an idiot.

  14. I cant wait for the day that this guy's son tells him he signed his contract. =]

  15. I have to say, to the writer of this blog, you really just add to the case of the original article, (which I think has some VERY valid points). Your responses to each section are just childish. If you want to critque an article in an adult manner, you should have articulate things to say, backed by clear thoughts and examples. You sound like the people on FOX News. I give this blog an epic fail. Try again.

  16. The whole POINT was to be "childish" - I didn't care enough of what the writer thought to provide anything more than sarcastic answers. This is my blog & I think I'll write how I like. If you don't like it, you don't have to read it =)

  17. I'm a military wife and it takes a strong woman to support her soldier ,If you meet him in the service then u should know what you're getting in to before you marry him, so its up to the woman to decide if she is gonna go through with raising kids alone, loneliness, no sex, the fear of the knock on the door and no one should bash soldiers like that. Soldiers are not killing for fun, they're defending themselves, cause you best believe I'd blast a kid who is raised to kill me so I can live to see my kids at home at the end of the day. That person is probably an ex serviceman or woman who was beaten or raped and failed to get help so feels he/she should piss me off by writing this crap, whoever u are.....get it together and move to Afghanistan or Iraq so u can get dealt with ;)

    1. Thank you for reading & commenting.. and I agree with you =)