Why is it that when the spouse of a service member complains they are called ungrateful? Okay, you may not say "you're being ungrateful" but saying "you should be grateful" is basically the same thing.
So, if I were to vent that our vacation won't go as planned, it'll be said to me "be grateful he gets paid leave" or "be grateful you can have a vacation because he isn't deployed".
Someone ALWAYS finds something to be negative about lol... if a spouse wants to vent about something, let them vent!! Venting does NOT mean they are ungrateful.
Vent - "My garbage disposal isn't working and I'll have to wait forever for maintenance to come fix it b/c they are backed up."
Negative Nancy - "Be grateful you don't have to pay to have it fixed like I do since I don't live on post."
Vent- "Ugh, my husbands R&R got pushed back."
Negative Nancy - "Be grateful your husband is getting an R&R. My husband will be gone for 9 months and won't get one at all."
Like people can't vent without someone else trying to make them feel bad or one up them! For example:
Vent - "I'm upset my husband might miss the birth of our child."
Negative Nancy/One upper - "What are you complaining about? My husband missed all 3 births of our children and with one of them I had to give birth in a back alley b/c the ambulance broke down on the way to the hospital. Did I mention it was in the middle of a snowstorm and my husband was on his 10th deployment which was 2yrs long?!"
Okay, that was a bit exaggerated but you get the point LOL
Just let people vent!! Offer them kind words, or suggestions to make situations easier, or vent along with them! Okay, that's my vent today =)
LOl Well I believe in finding the positive but youre right sometimes you just wanna vent and complain. Also there is a pretty severe pattern of one upping from milspouses, what is that about? Loved your last one!
ReplyDeleteI have no clue. I have never felt the need to "one up" anyone. lol.. thanks for reading and commenting =)
DeleteIt reminds me of a funny saying we have in my family when our kids complain. "Well back in MY day we had to walk to school, in the snow, uphill both ways!"
ReplyDelete