Thursday, September 16, 2010

Sarcastic Humore We Can Relate To

 My friends and I were having one of many sarcastic moments lol
Just some of our "off" humor LOL...

Original Post:

Aimee ~ I just wanted to share that my husband is TDY and I haven't heard from him in 2 whole days! I'm assuming that he is either with a stripper or getting some female (soldier or civilian) pregnant.

But I'm not complaining, honestly, because I wouldn't leave anyways. I'm too dependent on the BAH and health care!

Goodnight ladies!


Marissa ~ what? I thought TDY was the same as deployment :P

Judy ~ Its probably the female soldier because you know...they're all whores, right?

~ i know judy! no better than strippers.

Laura ~ What? You mean yours doesn't text you all day & isn't home by 5pm????


Aimee ~ NO LAURA, he doesnt. i think that means that something is going on. what would you guys do?

btw this is 8th deployment in 9 months! because anytime they arent at home, its a non combat deployment!

~ Please tell me this was a joke cuz temporarily my husband and I live separate and 2 days without talking sheesh that's nothing ... great benefits But the soldiers worth more

Laura ~ Do you get separation pay when he ges into the field for a week??

Ashlie ~ How far is his tdy station from u? Did he let u know he wouldn't b contacting u?

Aimee ~ can i really get that? i should look into that, laura! thanks for the suggestion, who do you think i should contact? COC, IG, or JAG?

~ This sounds exactly like my situation! I hope they aren't together....thank goodness for dadt.

Judy ~ Shut up Aimee, my husband was deployed to NTC for a WHOLE MONTH and they wouldn't even pay to move me home.

~ holy shit, i never even thought that he could be taking DICK! one more thing to worry about. i think im going to die, ladies. for real!

~ Wow ya I thought u could in a tdy deployment

Laura ~ IG - Always go to them first. You get the best results that way. All the new wives/moms/grandmas/aunts are doing it.

~ judy, my husband was deployed to NTC for 15 mutha fucking months! got TARANTULA team!

Stephani ~ Aimee at least you wouldn't have to worry about him knocking someone up....then the baby won't steal any of your shopping money.

Judy ~ Laura, you get even BETTER results when you walk into IG wearing your husband's PT shirt. It shows them you are part of the Army team.

~ guess what ladies, all of your prayers worked! i just got a text saying that he had been in field for the last few days and he would call me in a few minutes! man the power of prayer is AMAZING!

~ HELL NA BITCH!! AINT NO ONE GONNA TOUCH MY SHOPPING MONEY! and fuck those ex wives that had to audacity to actually ask for child support before my ass came along!

bunch of gold digging whores!

~ Ok, who of you is paying for my new laptop!?!
Totally just spit water on it laughing!! Thank you very much ladies!!

Judy ~ Eliane, I hear you can apply for an AER loan and get a new one.

Eliane ~ But do I have to pay the money back or do I just keep it?

~ No, a loan means you do not have to pay it back. I learned that by watching court TV shows.
I would never wear his nasty PT shirt, but his dress blues are freshly dry cleaned. I look great in blue.

~ YOU technically dont have to pay shit back. HE does! take a huge loan, and then leave his ass.

Eliane ~ Ok, well I have wanted the new Nissan 370Z... The free AER loan will work for that, right!?!
Plus I thought as a good army wife you had to take out a huge loan and then leave your soldier ;-)

Aimee ~ actually, the good wife stays through the deployment, all while secretly stashing away the deployment pay and hoping to win the SGLI lottery. and THEN leaves....once he is back, with all of his money.

Kimberly ~ Well Aimee its ok since ur boyfriend is over right? Well one of em... aren't we all whores like our hubby's? Its in the army wife code book..

Aimee Stroup Yadda Yadda
~ i have HUNDREDS of boyfriends....because ALL army guys like big, fat, baby making, worn out women!

i am like their kryptonite! i make them all leave their skinny, over educated wives!

Jamie ~ i can't believe you have the nerve to complain!! mine just left for basic this morning...i'm devastated!

btw, my son hit his head and is bleeding all over and saying he sees spots... what should i do?

~ i would wrap his head in a plastic bag...all of the way down to his it with duck tape. if the bleeding doesnt stop in 10 minutes, wait longer.

Marissa ~ Im sorry but Jamie's was the best. Altho the line about how you are kryptonite was pretty fucking good!

~ My husband had the nerve to miss dinner! His 1st SGT is gonna hear it from me!


1 comment:

  1. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!! I especially love the "what do I do?" comments. Honestly! :)