Thursday, July 8, 2010

Can you "affair proof" your marriage?

I am reading a book, Forever in Love. It has devotional insights for developing love and intimacy in you marriage. I like to read these kind of books from time to time to help me think of ways to keep my marriage alive. In this book they talk about the "Ten Commandments for a Healthy Marriage".

Now, while I do believe some people just cheat or have affairs because that's just the kind of thing they are prone to do, I don't believe all people who have cheated set out with cheating in mind. (I'm sure I'll get some bitching for

So, with this in mind, and thinking that unpremeditated affairs are usually brought about by an unfulfilling marriage, I am going to share what the "Ten Commandments for a Healthy Marriage" are. =)

Commandment #1 ~ Protect your day off at all costs and spend it together, as a couple, and as a family. I really do agree with this commandment. Nothing is more important than spending quality time together. I think this leads into the next commandment....

Commandment #2 ~ Eat dinner together. My mother-in-law, very wise in many things, has always said that getting together and sitting down for at least one meal a day is essential!! It helps you connect and share ideas when you take this time to focus on conversations when the rest of your day may be hectic. I think it is also something that can be looked forward too because you KNOW you have this SCHEDULED time to sit, eat, and deal with issues or even have some relaxing conversations.

Commandment #3 ~ Go to bed together (when possible of course, you know our lifestyle) In the book I'm reading it says that nothing undermines intimacy faster than separate bedtimes. You know you get mad when you're ready for bed but he wants to finish up some more COD on the game system! LOL.... Bedtime is another time to "touch and share" with eachother. Without set times, you may lose contact with eachother in the "busyness" of life.

Commandment #4 ~
Don't hold a grudge. Hope for your marriage lies in being able to forgive and forget. I know this personally! It's not good at all to let the things of the past that have hurt you rob you of your happiness of today and the future.

Commandment #5 ~ Don't take separate vacations. Sharing experiences help you bond.

Commandment #6 ~ Never let anything rob your marriage of sexual joy! We use sex to express love and to give pleasure. Sometimes to release tension and stress. While true intimacy is more than sex, it is never less than that either.

Commandment #7 ~ Pray together. I know not everyone believes in God, but for those that do, you know prayer is important. Nothing is more intimate than your personal relationship with God.

Commandment #8 ~ Play together.
Playfulness and the ability to amuse your spouse are important. Inside jokes, cute nicknames, playful games.... we all need some fun! Nobody wants to feel like a "fuddy-duddy". LOL.

Commandment #9 ~ Pay attention to the little things because they mean a lot. Expensive gifts are nice and all, but what do we, as women, most of the time remember with that heart-melting feeling? The little things! A love note on your dresser when you get up in the morning, or a stuffed animal that says "hot stuff" sitting in the driver seat of your car, flowers for nothing other than to say "I appreciate you"... you get the point. This goes both ways though, we must do the little things too!

Commandment #10 ~ Pledge yourselves not only to physical faithfulness, but to emotional fidelity as well. You need to fulfill your emotional needs for your marriage, in your marriage. The needs you want out of your marriage don't come from friends, family or your career. It is easy to slip into emotional affairs!

Something I plan on doing, is talking these commandments over with my husband and seeing how we can integrate these more into our marriage. Maybe it would help if you, my reader, did the same. Only you know.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks Jamie, I'm going to share with my hubby tonight!!