Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Who Cares About Rank? I do!

Over the past few days while "creepin'" on Facebook, I have seen talk of rank in the military community, including on my page *AWDIWH*....

A few things made me laugh...one thing that made me laugh was spouses who were so adamant that more wasn't expected of them as their service member gained rank. I'm not referring to the way you dress or act reflecting on your service member, that to me, is common sense. I'm referring to attending certain functions, meetings & ceremonies...and no, I'm not saying you are required to do anything with the FRG. However, if your service member is making a career of the military, being social with him at his required social events will make him look better. Image can go a long way and can positively or negatively affect your service member.

Another thing that made me laugh was someone said something to the effect like "having an attitude is wearing your service members rank"... huh? First, let me state that I have NEVER, in person, come across a spouse who has "wore" their service members rank...I see some on the internet try to act high and mighty, but not in person. Frankly, I don't care if a spouse tries to "wear their service members rank". It doesn't effect me at all. And is it really that big of a deal when a woman wears her husbands rank patch on her ACU purse or diaper bag? Really? That doesn't mean she is walking around saying, "I'm Mrs. CPT MyShitDontStink"... I have an ACU purse that I use as my "Scentsy Brag Bag". Yes, it has my husbands rank on it... but guess what? HE WANTED IT ON THERE lol... So, in short, I really don't care if a spouse wants to act all "I'm better than you" b/c their service member is a specific rank. It doesn't affect me or anything I do... The only way it affects me is if I let it.

The last thing that gave me a little chuckle, while I was reading it via my phone, while having lunch with the hubs today was women saying they didn't care about their husbands rank. Really? I don't understand that. Do I care about YOUR service members rank? No, that has nothing to do with me. However, I do care about MY husbands rank. Why would I not care? Me saying I didn't care about his rank would be like a huge slap in the face to him. He joined FOR US, to get us out of the shit-hole town we lived in. He works his ass off FOR US, his family..he is making a career of the Army FOR US... so, yeah, let me just tell him, "Honey, I don't care about your rank...I don't care about all the time and energy you put into your career to earn that rank... I don't care about you being in charge of keeping guys safe during deployment while bullets are flying at your chest...all that you've done to earn your rank means nothing b/c I don't care about it." That would be a stab in the chest to him. He is proud of his rank and how fast he earned it and I'm proud of him too. Being proud of your service members rank doesn't mean you're flaunting it or bragging. And for those who don't care about their husbands rank, I wonder if they would care if he didn't move up in rank...or if he got knocked down. I bet that would change things.


  1. Well said! Some women wear their husbands ranks on purses because they are proud, not that they think they have the rank. My husband has been on profile and is now on recovery for the past year and has not been able to get his rank due to not being able to pass a pt test. I know once he passes, I'll be wearing it with such great pride of my husband... Even if it's just e4, he worked hard through physical therapy and getting back into shape for that e4. I'll be caring and cheering my husband as far as he wants to go in the army!=)

  2. There must be a thing about rank, though. I noticed on one of the bigger networking webpages, you can submit a blog but there are rules about no rank naming. Which is fine with me, I don't care. If I'm talking about military life, rank isn't usually the issue--unless it's the issue. LOL :D

    I'm really proud of my soldier. We joined the Army late and he worked his butt off to provide for our growing family, getting his bachelors and masters degrees, beforehand. He earned his rank...and he'll continue to do so. You can't hand him anything on a silver platter, ya know? So yeah. I know what you mean. Sometimes, you just gotta be proud of our men. :)

    Don't worry about what other people say about wearing your husband's rank. You now what's in your heart.

    1. I don't get it lol... I never even mention my husbands rank in conversation with others... I see no point. That is why I find it funny when people claim I'm "wearing his rank"... too many people are hung up on it and I think it has gotten worse b/c of pages on FB that make fun of "rank wearing wives" and bring more attention to it than needed...next thing you know, everyone thinks every wife is doing it b/c they can't tell the difference.

  3. If you mention your husband's rank, people will think you are a trying to brag. If you wear it on a purse, it's the quiet way of showing it without mentioning it verbally. If your husband's bosses wife engaged you in a conversation about rank, you'd think, what a bitch. I know I would.

    Rank means alot in the military. A Soldier wears it, gets paid by it, gets jobs with it, etc. Most of all, a Soldier earns it. The dirty secret is, everybody says the "don't care about rank," but it is very important and most people do keep rank in mind when the deal with others.

    If Soldiers talk or display rank, it is their job. Wives who talk or display rank- I guess it's a hobby? Except your husbands rank, then it's your life. But that is personal, like your bank account, or something. If the FRG was run according to rank, most wives would be very upset. Imagine if a wife had to wear a ID card clipped to her blouse with her name and her husband's rank?

  4. The reality is that as our husband's move up in rank their duties increase and if we should choose to our duties increase. It's no different than the civilian world. I don't understand how my supporting my husband and fulfilling those rolls is "wearing his rank". I am doing them in support of my husband. By the way, he wouldn't be at this rank if I hadn't supported him and given up numerous opportunities in my career to follow him around the US and Europe. He would be the first to tell you that, but don't misunderstand I never tell people my husband's rank. Yet after 19 years as a military spouse I'm still astounded by the rudeness of people who ask me. Also let me point out to the junior spouses: saying that senior enlisted and officers don't deserve perks is easy, but they earned those little perks starting right where you are now. Let's revisit this issue in 20 years and we'll see if you still feel the same way.

  5. If my husband stays in 20 more years, he will have been in 44 years and we will both be dead by then. He is Senior Enlisted and I too have helped him thru his career in the US and Europe as well. I have also been a Soldier and gained my own rank. I don't get any perks from his rank; you must be an Officer's wife if you get perks from rank. I am Anonymous from Mar 21 above you, btw. I would never wear the rank he has earned on a purse, that rank belongs on the uniform of man who has fought for it. Fought as in combat in war. And I understand how rude people are. I LOVE to introduce myself by my first name to fellow spouses whose husbands work with my husband. They usually are lukewarm and don't show particular interest. But when they hear my last name, see me sign in on an FRG attendance sheet, or encounter me with my husband, holy cow, it's my new best friend. Or, suddenly it's a sullen bitch who can't stand the fact her husband is out ranked. So, anyway, perhaps I do need a nifty ACU bag...with a nice big rank on it. :)

  6. Thank you for reading and commenting Ladies =)